Guitar Shots To The Head: As Good As It Gets

Sometimes, blogs are just harder to write than others. Like a lot of people on this board, I have recently had somewhat of an emotional deficit when it comes to my feelings about this team. After watching a 41-17 thrashing of the Vols, I really couldn’t identify my feelings. A few years ago a loss like this would have me upset and searching for answers. I would have glued myself to the radio or the streaming audio, listening as fans demanded answers from Phil Fulmer and crew. Now, only numbness remains, or as BB King would explain, The Thrill Is Gone.

There are some of you out there that expressed a good deal of anger after that loss. It reminded me of the way I used to feel. For a few years now, I like the Vols, feel as though I am wandering aimlessly. As a devout fan I am left watching and waiting as other college football programs develop and thrive. I admire the fact that some people still have that fire, but for me, sadly it is gone. Make no mistake, I am a happier person because of it. There are times when emotional detachment is a very healthy thing. The real problem is, I am ready to feel again.

Recently, my college football experience has dwindled down to rooting against teams that I dislike. Surely I should have better things to do than turn on the television and hope against hope that the University of Kentucky hits Tebow so hard that he doesn’t want to get up again. There has to be more to following college football than rooting against SEC Eastern foes every week, or getting a little smile knowing that Notre Dame has tanked, or throwing a party when teams like USC, Cal, and Ohio State slip up and get beaten.

This week, watching the Vols lose to Bama made me a little introspective. Perhaps this quote from Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie As Good As It Gets best sums up the way some of us feel right now:

“It’s not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that’s their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you’re that pissed that so many others had it good.”

Helen Hunt’s character fell head over heals for a very flawed man. Sadly she realized that such a relationship was a lot more give than take. To avoid too much imagery, suffice it to say, I am in love with a flawed football program, and it turns out that I have football envy. I covet a team that looks sleek and fast. I long for the days when the UT offense had rhythm and could actually sack a quarterback three times in one game. I have lost the joy of winning because I am waiting for the other shoe to drop next week. I have lost the hurt of losing because of the old adage; fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

Some point to the Florida and LSU games last year, and say this team was on the cusp of greatness. I saw something different in those games. I saw a team hanging on (albeit courageously) for dear life. I saw a team that was outclassed at every position. In that sense, the big losses this year have really not been so surprising. Like everyone else, the close games last year did show me that the team still had a heartbeat. Turns out it was pretty faint.

Even now, a handful of shortsighted Volnation posters will read this and tell me to find another team. I wish it was that easy. I love the Tennessee Volunteers more than I love winning, and winning is very important to me. However, my standards and definition of winning continues to be constantly evolving now. I used to bang the cymbal for championships. Now, when the Vols play a talented or well coached team, I just look for the Vols to be competitive. For me that is a tremendous compromise.

Like most of you, I have searched far and wide for reasons to be excited and emotionally invested in this football team. My microscope for improvement has gone well beyond wins and losses. I have singled out players, like Arian Foster, who always seem to play with heart. I have rested hopes on recruiting in the 2005 and 2007 recruiting classes. I had even convinced myself before the season that UT would have a speed infusion of mythical proportions, and that if nothing else special teams would be much improved. Obviously I was wrong.

I hope the Nation is not too disappointed with me. People don’t generally read a Lexvol column to catch up with their “feelings”. Mostly my writing is a lighthearted venture into the goings on of this football program, but my lack of emotion makes me feel somewhat “soul-less” when it comes to UT football. I feel that way, because for a while now, I think this coaching staff, and with few exceptions, the majority of young men on this football team have lack the very same thing. As a whole, we are watching a directionless, “soul-less” football team just go through the motions on Saturday.

Contrary to the opinions of some on the board for most of us this is not an exercise in living vicariously through this football team. I don’t need an amateur sociologist to tell me how I should think or feel. I have simply been around long enough to know that Volunteer football is not about going through the motions. University of Tennessee football fans unequivocally deserve more than that. That is one expectation that I will NEVER lower.

The blog today is not some fabricated hack piece written to create a debate. To use stronger terms, this is no longer opinion. This is not a shot at CPF’s weight, or off the field issues. This is not intended to denigrate the body of work that he has amassed at the helm of the UT program. This is stone cold fact in classic Guitar Shots fashion. Phil Fulmer has lost this football team. Either we do not have the talent, or these players have no faith in the current system. The more probable answer is that we are witnessing a combination of both. Look no further than the Hardesty situation to prove this point. This football team needs leadership on the sidelines, and on the field. Until changes are made, the Volnation should realize that 1998 was as good as it gets.