dduncan4163
Have at it Hoss
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2006
- Messages
- 21,969
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- 46,025
Hey Nation I know it's been a while and let me say I'm very sorry for my absence here but I'm going to try to explain and I hope yall will understand.
First things first, she got over her intestinal infection finally and can eat solid foods without vomiting once again. Her MRSA has also cleared up and hopefully in the next few weeks she will be able to get a skin graph for her right leg and left arm.
On the cancer front it is still in her blood but it has not attacked her spine or organs again. She has been able to keep it at bay now for nearly 6 weeks and we're hoping another 24 blast will get her into her initial remission.
Her spirits are sky high because she got moved to a rehab center and can now walk across the room with only the help of a walker. She still can't stand herself up yet but shes REALLY close. She can now also go to the bathroom without much help and that's been wonderful for her psyche. Wearing diapers and having to sit on bed pans really humiliated her and made her feel so ashamed and helpless. She's getting her independence back and for my wife that's everything. She's a type A personality and always wants to do things herself and her way lol.
I have been absent the last few weeks mainly because I just hit a really dark point a few weeks back. I truly thought she was going to die then and there and she did come close. I just sort of withdrew away from everyone. I became bitter and hopeless and I withdrew because I didn't want to be toxic to those I care about and love and that includes you all. It still seems so surreal. She hasn't been here for Dennis, Isaac, and Ruth's birthdays and that hit her so hard and seeing her and my kids suffer so much damn near broke me. Why did it have to be her and not me? A father is a bad substitute for a mother.
Anyway it passed and if things continue to improve we may just have her home at some point next month. I know the long term outlook is still grim but all that matters is today. Getting her back home has been my only goal since Dec 28th. She's really close and is the healthiest she's been since this all started.
I want to thank you all once again for the thoughts, prayers, cards, and support. They have meant the would to all of us. She's got another spinal tap on Monday and hopefully it will still be clear. I will update you all.
Thanks again for everything Nation. I'm almost ready to let myself settle back into a sense of normalcy here. I need to start posting again and allow myself to get back into my Volnation groove. I need this place bad.
Love you all from the bottom of my heart.
First things first, she got over her intestinal infection finally and can eat solid foods without vomiting once again. Her MRSA has also cleared up and hopefully in the next few weeks she will be able to get a skin graph for her right leg and left arm.
On the cancer front it is still in her blood but it has not attacked her spine or organs again. She has been able to keep it at bay now for nearly 6 weeks and we're hoping another 24 blast will get her into her initial remission.
Her spirits are sky high because she got moved to a rehab center and can now walk across the room with only the help of a walker. She still can't stand herself up yet but shes REALLY close. She can now also go to the bathroom without much help and that's been wonderful for her psyche. Wearing diapers and having to sit on bed pans really humiliated her and made her feel so ashamed and helpless. She's getting her independence back and for my wife that's everything. She's a type A personality and always wants to do things herself and her way lol.
I have been absent the last few weeks mainly because I just hit a really dark point a few weeks back. I truly thought she was going to die then and there and she did come close. I just sort of withdrew away from everyone. I became bitter and hopeless and I withdrew because I didn't want to be toxic to those I care about and love and that includes you all. It still seems so surreal. She hasn't been here for Dennis, Isaac, and Ruth's birthdays and that hit her so hard and seeing her and my kids suffer so much damn near broke me. Why did it have to be her and not me? A father is a bad substitute for a mother.
Anyway it passed and if things continue to improve we may just have her home at some point next month. I know the long term outlook is still grim but all that matters is today. Getting her back home has been my only goal since Dec 28th. She's really close and is the healthiest she's been since this all started.
I want to thank you all once again for the thoughts, prayers, cards, and support. They have meant the would to all of us. She's got another spinal tap on Monday and hopefully it will still be clear. I will update you all.
Thanks again for everything Nation. I'm almost ready to let myself settle back into a sense of normalcy here. I need to start posting again and allow myself to get back into my Volnation groove. I need this place bad.
Love you all from the bottom of my heart.
