Wednesday, April 1, 2015:
The only realistic option is to abandon my family and cut ties with all that I know. Went to Sam's Club... I've bought enough canned food reserves, bourbon, and bottled water to last 4 years in the bunker. The Vols have just offered Josh Imatorbhebhe. I may be down here a while. Hopefully he's good enough that I can reemerge after his junior year.... but for now..... we wait.
Friday, April 15, 2015:
It's been 14 days, and things have gotten worse. Jarrett Guarantano has committed to the Vols. I thought I could get through this one, but my optimism was mostly unfounded. I tried....... it's bad. Side note... Castleberry's chili is a lot better than I remembered.
Thursday, April 30, 2015:
It's been 29 days in the bunker... wish I bought more Castleberry's chili... also wish I had gone with better fumigation in the bunker. It was wrong to leave my family like this, and loneliness has set in.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015:
I haven't shaved in months. It seems like I've lost 20 pounds, but I haven't... as I continue to eat my feelings to control the depression. Imatorbhebhe still haunts my nightmares, preying on my very sanity. I'm also nearly out of bourbon and Acetaminophen.
Thursday, December 24, 2015:
To my family... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to abandon you like this! I couldn't rationalize another option... was the only way! I haven't seen the sunlight in so long I believe I've developed night vision. A small dog has burrowed his way into the bunker, which is welcome as I need the companionship. I've named him Whiskers. Merry Christmas, dear family... know that Whiskers and I miss you immensely.
Sunday, January 17, 2016:
I clearly did not develop the keen night vision I had originally suspected I had. As it turns out, Whiskers was the alpha of a large clan of rat bandits. He's been smuggling food out of the bunker since I first met him, that little *******. I'm nearly completely depleted of food and water because I trusted that furry little ****!
Monday, February 1, 2016:
I ran out of food last week and resorted to tunnelling my way to Whiskers' storage cache. It took 4 days of digging, but I found it. It was well-guarded by well over a dozen heavily clawed rats with tiny hoodies on. I came prepared to fight to the death, armed with my can opener and pocket knife... it was a long, hard fought battle, but I've come away disgraced... as I retreated, they threw a can of sweet peas at me and chuckled tauntingly. It may be the last bit of food I see in this dark, lonely existence... I've begun rationing 1 pea a day.
Wednesday, Feb 3, 2016:
I... I believe it's safe to reenter society.
I......... can't believe it... Josh... he signed with USC!
I've grown unbelievably hungry since the Whiskers raid. I've been rewarding myself with a single pea for every proper enunciation of Jarrett Guarantano, and I'm beginning to get it correct at a mark above 42%. I'm calling it a win over 50% and I don't think anybody will notice as I've resolved to just saying the last name softly soas not to attract undo attention. FAMILY! VOL NATION! I'M BACK!!!
Monday, January 28, 2018:
Sigh........
On my way to Sam's Club... getting more Castleberry's chili this time. Bringing my Glock 22 in case Whiskers rears his treacherous face again.
