Anybody Got Any Good Toasts?

[n_huffhines]

I have a few toasts in the rotation, and people love them. I'm thinking I need more. Anybody got any good ones? I like 'em short and sweet and clever. Example,

Friends may come, friends may go
Some may peter out, you know?
But I'll be here through thick and thin
Peter out, or peter in

 

[VolunteerHillbilly]

don't know if it's 'good', but my go to has always been:

Here's to the girl I loved the best
I screwed her naked and I screwed her dressed
I screwed her standing and I screwed her lying
If she'd had wings I'd have screwed her flying
And when she's dead and long forgotten
I'll dig her up and screw her rotten

 

[VolNExile]

don't know if it's 'good', but my go to has always been:

Here's to the girl I loved the best
I screwed her naked and I screwed her dressed
I screwed her standing and I screwed her lying
If she'd had wings I'd have screwed her flying
And when she's dead and long forgotten
I'll dig her up and screw her rotten

* visualizes expression on wife’s face during this toast *

 

[K-town Vol Fan]

don't know if it's 'good', but my go to has always been:

Here's to the girl I loved the best
I screwed her naked and I screwed her dressed
I screwed her standing and I screwed her lying
If she'd had wings I'd have screwed her flying
And when she's dead and long forgotten
I'll dig her up and screw her rotten

Very touching

 

[volwindy]

 

[give_him 6]

 

[give_him 6]

 

[NorCalVol67]

 

[Vjcvette]

May you Have a Healthy, Happy and Prosperous Year!

 

[pismonque]

Best toast I can think of:

 

[YankeeVol]

To our wives and girlfriends ... may they never meet

 

[YankeeVol]

Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to cheat, cheat death. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to drink, drink with me.

or

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away

 

[YankeeVol]

Here’s to those who wish us well. And those that don’t can go to hell.

 

[VolunteerHillbilly]

* visualizes expression on wife’s face during this toast *

that's for dudes, not mixed company

 

[Tin Man]

May the wings of liberty never lose a feather

 

[Tin Man]

May fortune follow you wherever you roam

 

[Tin Man]

May you be a gracious host, a favored guest, or no trouble to me and mine

 

[Tin Man]

Live long and prosper

 

[Tin Man]

May we celebrate into the wee hours and awaken refreshed, no worse for what we do tonight

 

[Plano Vol]

May the wind at your back be your own.

 

[HollowaytoSeivers]

When you pass from this Earth, may you be in Heaven 30 minutes before the Devil knows you're dead.

 

[PEPPERJAX]

don't know if it's 'good', but my go to has always been:

Here's to the girl I loved the best
I screwed her naked and I screwed her dressed
I screwed her standing and I screwed her lying
If she'd had wings I'd have screwed her flying
And when she's dead and long forgotten
I'll dig her up and screw her rotten

 

[Tin Man]

And of course, for sailors and skydivers alike...

Fair skies and favorable winds

 

[n_huffhines]

Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to cheat, cheat death. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to drink, drink with me.

or

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away

Yeah, i actually use that first one, but a shorter version of it.

 

[n_huffhines]

May you be a gracious host, a favored guest, or no trouble to me and mine

That's a good one to tack onto the end of an original toast