Clemson jokes

[Poultrygeist]

Clemson in South Carolina is known as the Cow College, Moo U or the Udder University.

What's a seven course meal at Clemson? a six pack and a possum

How many Clemson grads does it take to eat a possum? three, one to eat the possum and two to watch for cars

How is a tornado and a Clemson divorce alike? With either the double-wide is history

What's the most common STD at Clemson? rabies

A Clemson student died from drinking milk. The cow fell on him.

How do you break a Clemson grad's finger? Punch him in the nose

Directions to Clemson: Go west till you smell something then south till you step in it.

One of the majors at Clemson is Animal Husbandry. You can flunk out if the sheep dies.

Why do they smear cow manure on the goalposts at Clemson? To keep the flies off the homecoming queen

Clemson took their mascot from Auburn, their fight song, death valley and colors from LSU ( switched to orange when gold was scarce in WWII ). The lyrics to Tiger Rag describe the death of a tiger at the hands of hunters. Their alma mater came from Cornell and "The Rock" was a door stop in Frank Howard's office found in a trash can after he was fired. Why would a team take a bus from one side of the stadium to the other? Only at Clemson!

 

[Ratvol]

1st..

If two Clemson grads get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?
Wait…. That’s Bama. My bad.

Go VOLS

 

[Volador]

Directions from Columbia to Clemson: Go west till you smell something then south till you step in it.

Sorry, but you need a geography lesson. Plus, saw this on a bumper sticker in 1976 - perhaps the best bumper sticker ever:

Directions to Clemson: North to you smell it, West to you step in it!

 

[Firebirdparts]

Do you know what the N in Clemson stands for? Knowledge.

That's probably 100 years old.

 

[volsdeepnsc]

Do you know what the N in Clemson stands for? Knowledge.

That's probably 100 years old.

I once sold cheerios on the Clemson campus as doughnut seeds!

 

[FLVOL_79]

Clempson.

 

[TennesseeTarheel]

Back in the day when car manufacturers moved the headlight dimmer to the column, several Clemson students were involved in wrecks due to getting their feet entangled in their steering wheels.

 

[Vfl2407]

Clemson is a real University.
(That’s the whole joke).

 

[Orange defense]

How do you keep a Clemson girl from biting her nails?
Make her wear shoes.

 

[feathersax]

Why did they cancel the Christmas play at Clemson last year?
• They couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
What do a tornado and a Clemson cheerleader have in common?
• They both just end up in trailer parks.

 

[On In Two]

SC highway patrolman pulls over a Clemson grad for speeding. The patrolman asks, "You got any ID?" Clemson guy replies, "About what?"

 

[Poultrygeist]

Clemson ring with a nose picker

 

[TennesseeTarheel]

So a Clemson coed really wants to buy a monkey, but she knows her dad will not send the money for such a pet. So she emails her dad and asks for money to buy a bicycle.
The money comes, and she buys the cute little monkey.
After about a week, she notices that clumps of hair are falling out of the little fellow. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the money to take the monkey to the vet, so she does internet searches for hours, but cannot find anything that might help.
Finally, in desperation, she emails her father, saying, "Help! All of the hair is falling out of my monkey! Please send money!"
And her father emails back, "I sent you $100. and sell the damn bicycle!"

 

[Tman44]

Do you know what the N in Clemson stands for? Knowledge.

That's probably 100 years old.

Ha. They asked the top Nebraska recruit what the N on the helmet stood for. He said Knowledge.

 

[Poultrygeist]

True story: A few years ago a cop stopped one of the Clemson players for speeding. When he approached the car the policemen thought he smelled pot. He asked the player if he had any pot and the player replied, "no I done smoked it".

 

[rgvol]

True story: A few years ago a cop stopped one of the Clemson players for speeding. When he approached the car the policemen thought he smelled pot. He asked the player if he had any pot and the player replied, "no I done smoked it".

In all fairness it was a good answer