OrangeEmpire
The White Debonair
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2005
- Messages
- 74,988
- Likes
- 59
Something to offend everybody...
Liberal: Wants religion in the closet and sexuality in public and in the schools ... just as long as it isn't normal heterosexuality, which is oppressive to women and gays.
Conservative: Wants sexuality in the closet and religion in public and in the schools ... just as long as said religion is fire and brimstone Christianity. Anything else is un-American.
Liberal: Supports the ACLU, which upholds the constitution, but opposes the NRA, which also upholds the constitution.
Conservative: Supports the NRA, which upholds the constitution, but opposes the ACLU which also upholds the constitution.
Liberal: Religious conservatives who divorce, read porn or cheat on their spouses (despite building careers railing against all three) are hypocrits while feminists who marry, read porn or have children (despite building careers railing against all three) are not.
Conservative: Welfare recipients, public sector unionists and funding for the arts are bilking the public purse while pork barrel defence contractors, corporate welfare and faith based welfare initiatives do not.
Liberal: Believe that any business that actually makes money either isn't paying high enough taxes or isn't paying high enough wages and benefits.
Conservative: Believe that union labor makes too much money but corporate CEOs do not.
Liberal: Considers stanardized testing and profiling to be racist, but hiring and admissions quotas are not.
Conservative: Considers affirmative action "reverse" discrimination despite the fact that high paying and high profile jobs are still dominated by white men.
Liberal: In the interests of educational diversity, liberal education will no longer consist merely of the works of "dead white European males" but instead will focus on women, minorities and third world scholars who espouse Marxist and post modern philosophies ... philosophies contrived by dead white European males!
Conservative: A broad, diverse and comprehensive liberal education should not study the thought of other cultures or nations.
Liberal: America is the sole source of racism, colonialism, imperialism, exploitation and injustice in the modern world. None of the above existed before European expansionism.
Conservative: Any criticism of past or present American foreign or economic policy is treason.
Liberal: Rails against the interests of "big business" despite the fact that said business creates jobs and makes its money by providing goods and services that people are actually willing to spend their own money on.
Conservative: Dismiss or ignore the possibility that business might pollute the environment, rip off consumers and slash wages, jobs and benefits despite the positive impact all of the above often have on "the bottom line."
Liberal: Attributes the failure of socialsim to either the wrong people running it or not properly implementing it.
Conservative: Attributes the failure of laissez faire to either the wrong people running it or not properly implementing it.
Liberal: Pro choice and pro feminist ... but condemn traditional gender roles even if freely chosen.
Conservative: Conservative women's groups and leaders are somehow exempt from the otherwise firmly held belief that women are better off at home raising children.
How to be a good Democrat/Republican
Feel free to add your own.......
:salute:
Liberal: Wants religion in the closet and sexuality in public and in the schools ... just as long as it isn't normal heterosexuality, which is oppressive to women and gays.
Conservative: Wants sexuality in the closet and religion in public and in the schools ... just as long as said religion is fire and brimstone Christianity. Anything else is un-American.
Liberal: Supports the ACLU, which upholds the constitution, but opposes the NRA, which also upholds the constitution.
Conservative: Supports the NRA, which upholds the constitution, but opposes the ACLU which also upholds the constitution.
Liberal: Religious conservatives who divorce, read porn or cheat on their spouses (despite building careers railing against all three) are hypocrits while feminists who marry, read porn or have children (despite building careers railing against all three) are not.
Conservative: Welfare recipients, public sector unionists and funding for the arts are bilking the public purse while pork barrel defence contractors, corporate welfare and faith based welfare initiatives do not.
Liberal: Believe that any business that actually makes money either isn't paying high enough taxes or isn't paying high enough wages and benefits.
Conservative: Believe that union labor makes too much money but corporate CEOs do not.
Liberal: Considers stanardized testing and profiling to be racist, but hiring and admissions quotas are not.
Conservative: Considers affirmative action "reverse" discrimination despite the fact that high paying and high profile jobs are still dominated by white men.
Liberal: In the interests of educational diversity, liberal education will no longer consist merely of the works of "dead white European males" but instead will focus on women, minorities and third world scholars who espouse Marxist and post modern philosophies ... philosophies contrived by dead white European males!
Conservative: A broad, diverse and comprehensive liberal education should not study the thought of other cultures or nations.
Liberal: America is the sole source of racism, colonialism, imperialism, exploitation and injustice in the modern world. None of the above existed before European expansionism.
Conservative: Any criticism of past or present American foreign or economic policy is treason.
Liberal: Rails against the interests of "big business" despite the fact that said business creates jobs and makes its money by providing goods and services that people are actually willing to spend their own money on.
Conservative: Dismiss or ignore the possibility that business might pollute the environment, rip off consumers and slash wages, jobs and benefits despite the positive impact all of the above often have on "the bottom line."
Liberal: Attributes the failure of socialsim to either the wrong people running it or not properly implementing it.
Conservative: Attributes the failure of laissez faire to either the wrong people running it or not properly implementing it.
Liberal: Pro choice and pro feminist ... but condemn traditional gender roles even if freely chosen.
Conservative: Conservative women's groups and leaders are somehow exempt from the otherwise firmly held belief that women are better off at home raising children.
How to be a good Democrat/Republican
Feel free to add your own.......
:salute:
