Favorite or funniest work story

#1
volsarelife1

volsarelife1

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#1
My favorite would have to be back in nursing school during clinicals.

Had a guy come in over 2 hours before his scheduled appointment time. He was getting so pissed when we were calling people ahead of him (the ones during their regular scheduled appointment times). Finally he got so pissed that he stood up in the waiting room and shat himself, running down his legs into the floor. Then he walked out and left.
 
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#4
#4
We all used to go out to the smoke area on break just to hang out. There's a guy who works with us we call wild Ricky. He's probably around 60, and had a flashy sports car, and a crotchety rocket, hence the nickname. He's funny turned in the way he talks. He was telling us a story about being in line at Walmart, and made the comment there was a "darkie" behind him. There was sitting outside at this time whites, a Mexican, a black guy, and 3 Laotians. Everyone just raised up and looked at him, and I said "uh Ricky, there's more than just white people out here right now ". He meant gothic, but it was hilarious.
 
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#5
#5
Kid that used to work with me about 10 years ago told me this one. He was in shipping one night when he noticed that the line going into a certain trailer was getting backed out. When he stepped into the trailer be noticed a walk of boxes with a space in behind. There was a woman sitting on a box with her pants around her ankles, and another woman on her knees doing her thing. As he started to walk out the one on her knees hollered at him to "get back here. I know you boys like to watch two women go at it". He hollered back "Maybe if it was two hot women, but not y'all".
 
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#6
#6
I worked at Lowes one summer in college. I was out back cleaning up and moving stacks of empty pallets with an older gentleman. He was retired but worked part time just to stay busy. He told me he would be back in a bit and left. I figured he had to go to the restroom. After an hour he finally showed up to help me finish cleaning up. I mentioned that he had left wearing kakis and was now wearing jeans. He told me that when we lifted that last stack of pallets together that he crapped all in his pants. He had gone home to clean up and change.
 
#8
#8
I work around Naval aircraft, and in the back of one of our planes is a tube with a funnel on top of it. It's a called a relief tube, so the guys in the back can relieve themselves while airborne on long flights.

We had a young engineer show up and I was giving him a quick tour of the plane. He asked what it was, and I said it was an Emergency ICS (intercom system). If the regular ICS went out for whatever reason, the guys in the back could still communicate with the guys in the front by talking into the funnel. It works like the old-school playground talk-listen things.

There were a lot of people in the group smiling, so I assumed he knew it was a joke, and I went on about the tour. The next week he stops by my desk and says "Hey, the guys in the front couldn't hear me when I talked into that emergency ICS tube." I just gave him a blank stare and answered "You didn't really try that, did you?" And he goes "Yeah, I had it up to my mouth and was screaming into it but no one in the front of the plane could hear me. Is there a button you're supposed to push or something?"

I lost it. I was crying I was laughing so hard. When I finally composed myself enough to explain why it was funny, he started screaming at me. He avoided me at work for a long time after that.
 
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#9
#9
joevol33 said:
we all used to go out to the smoke area on break just to hang out. There's a guy who works with us we call wild ricky. He's probably around 60, and had a flashy sports car, and a crotchety rocket, hence the nickname. He's funny turned in the way he talks. He was telling us a story about being in line at walmart, and made the comment there was a "darkie" behind him. There was sitting outside at this time whites, a mexican, a black guy, and 3 laotians. Everyone just raised up and looked at him, and i said "uh ricky, there's more than just white people out here right now ". He meant gothic, but it was hilarious.
Click to expand...

😂
 
#10
#10
Worked at a grocery store in college. My manager thought someone was going in the bathroom to try and steal something, but he actually saw them with a needle shooting up. Called cops and he ran from them all over the store. Finally, they shot him with a taser but he didn't go down. Tried to run out the door but they were sliding doors and didn't open fast enough and he ate it. The sight of it was pretty hilarious.
 
#11
#11
Worked at an office supply store in high school. Guy walked in, smiled and nodded to me and the print center guy, picked up a computer from the computer section (which was on the opposite end of the store and out of our line of sight), and walked right out with it.

He did it so confidently and without skipping a beat that we just assumed he had somehow paid for it at the computer section, even though we didn't have a register there. By the time we realized he had just stolen it (the store's sensors at the doors were fake), he was long gone.
 
#12
#12
A well known member of the media submitted a reimbursement request for supplies purchased while entertaining clients. We vetoed the underwear included on his Target receipt.
 
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#13
#13
In Chattanooga, there are lots of opposing college fans. One of my co-workers was a big Bama fan and kept an unopened commemorative Bear Bryant Coke bottle on his desk. I ordered an empty one on eBay and, before he got to work one morning, placed it on his desk (I poured a bit of Coke in the bottom of it) along with 50 cents and a sticky note that said "Thanks for the Coke. Thirsty Co-worker"

He was normally a loudmouth, but when he came in and saw this, he threw a tantrum and then went stone-cold silent ... I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel. My colleagues and I loved it, so I let him squirm for awhile before I finally told him the truth. He (like most Bama fans) didn't see the humor in it ... even when I mentioned it a few years later. It's still one of my favorite pranks ever.
 
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#14
#14
Used to put a piece of tape over the little switch to hang up on a co-workers telephone. Then call them... they pick up but the phone keeps on ringing.
 
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#15
#15
I worked in an office years ago. One of the ladies had a side business and one day a week her sales people would come to the office for meeting. Me and another guy thought it would be funny to stir up the ladies that normally worked in the office.

The sales people came in and had their meeting. As soon as they left we put some Nutella on a napkin and then wiped it on the seat of the toilet in the women's bathroom....surprisingly nothing was said.

The next week after the sales meeting we did it again and wiped some on some toilet paper and threw it in the floor.
About 20 minutes later one of the ladies went in the bathroom.... closed the door...., then we heard "damn it".... the door opened and she comes out and heads down the hall toward the other ladies offices and says " who **** on the seat and left their nasty toilet paper in the floor?!"...... she was incredibly pissed.... then we hear one of the other ladies say " somebody did that last week too, but didn't throw their toilet paper in the floor!".... it didn't take long .... all four of them were discussing it and came to the conclusion that it was one of the salespeople..... they confronted the lady over her salespeople crapping up the bathroom ..... it got heated .... it was so bad that me and the guy decided it would be best if we never told them
 
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#16
#16
Told this on here once before:

Way back when, I was bagging groceries at a Kroger on a slow afternoon and a lady came through the checkout lane with only a great big rubber tree plant in her cart, had those great big smooth shiny leaves. I just pulled her cart through to the end of the checkout lane and stood around waiting for something else to do.

While the lady was starting to write a check, these two happy stoner looking guys came walking along the end of the checkout lanes empty-handed and headed for the exit. One of them glanced over, then veered toward me and the big rubber tree plant.

He walked right up, smiled at me and said, "Watch this," then took one of the big leaves in both hands and bit into it. Didn't bite any off, just bit into it and then looked at me again, smiled really big and turned and walked out the door.

Dumbfounded as all hell, I watched him walk out, then looked back at the lady who was still writing her check, completely oblivious, then looked at the plant. That one big leaf had a crescent cut in it that was starting to ooze out some milky looking stuff. That's when I about lost it.

I tried so hard not to laugh out loud and mostly held it in. She finished paying, gave me a suspicious look and wheeled her bitten rubber tree plant out the door. I was then free to laugh myself to tears and pretty much kept laughing the rest of the day.

I always wonder what would make a person, upon seeing a big rubber tree plant in any circumstance, take the notion to bite it, of all things. I'm pretty sure that in an entire lifetime, that would never once occur to me as something to do. But I sure am glad it occurred to that one guy.
 
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#18
#18
There was a woman who came in w video because as she said it. No one would believe it. I threw in the video and and her neighbor was outside naked with the word "***" written on his chest in lipstick. He then proceeded to take an empty plate and squat over it. He picked that turd up and ate it like it was a babe Ruth candy bar. Turned out he was a pilot with American Airlines. We had to call and have him grounded he was in the air flying from Texas. When we told head of faa what we saw he said "nah" every person in the room yelled yes at the same time.
 
#19
#19
hmanvolfan said:
Sure are a lotta stories of folks crapping at inopportune times.
Click to expand...
When I was in hs I worked evenings at Wal Mart. We had a snack bar at the front of the store. One day my manager called me and one of the other stock boys to the front and said he'd received several complaints about the condition of the women's bathroom by the snack bar. Turns out someone had taken a dump in the sink. I refused to clean it up. Thankfully the other guy had a stronger stomach and took care of it.

Another time I went in the men's room and found a half eaten cheeseburger on the floor next to the toilet.
 
#20
#20
My brother likes to tell this story... I'm living with my father and working for a home building company in Montgomery, AL. My Dad tells me he's going to take a job in Nashville, and that very week, my paycheck comes from the State relief fund set up for the home building industry (My employer was bankrupt, and I was on the crew finishing houses that could be sold to pay the receivers). I've got just enough money to make my '67 VW road worthy and gas it up for a couple hundred miles.

My brother was working for a landscaper in Atlanta that paid better than most other jobs open to me. I join him. My first day, we're doing maintenance work on the large grounds of a wealthy person's home. He and I are weeding the beds on either side of the long drive. The company is owned by a Korean immigrant. He approaches me and asks, "Nahq, what are you doing?" I answer, "Pullin' weeds." He turns red in the face and screams, "I mean, you go too slow! Work faster! Work faster!"

My brother comes over to me and in a low voice tells me to stop trying to get the roots, just quickly snap off the visible tops. I look at him, puzzled, and protest that the weeds will just come back the following week. He gives me a steady gaze and replies, "I know."

To this day, my brother will approach me and ask in an accented voice, "Nahq, what are you doing?"

*The Koreans couldn't pronounce my name and just took to calling me "Nahq."
 
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#22
#22
Used to work with a guy that was super hard headed and would never admit he was wrong.
One time another guy had brought a bunch of boiled eggs and decided to share them. I took one and ran hot water over it to warm it up. This hard headed guy (we'll call him Tim) grabbed one and put it in the microwave. Another guy says that will blow up in the microwave. He said no it won't, I do this all the time. I said yes, eggs will blow up in the microwave. Again, no it won't, I do this all the time. Well, lo and behold, it finished with no problem. He took it out and said see I told you so.
Well he sat down and took a bite. When he took the second bite, BANG! It sounded like a small firecracker. It exploded in his face. He had egg in his hair, his ears, everywhere. It was also steaming hot and burnt all the skin off of his top lip. We all laughed uncontrollably.
The best part was he walked around with a scab on his lip for a couple of weeks as a reminder.
I wish I had a video. Might be the funniest thing I have ever seen.
 
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#24
#24
This guy I worked with about 15 years ago had brought in some potato salad that his wife made or his lunch. He had put it in one of those butter tubs and stuck it in the fridge in the break room. All I heard about for 4 hours is how great his wife's potato salad is. Nobody makes a better potato salad than her. Yada yada. Finally when break time came around he grabbed his bowl from the fridge and put it in the microwave to heat it up. When he got to the table he finally realized that he brought the wrong bowl with him. He was sitting there with a bowl full of melted butter. We laughed about that for weeks.
 
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#25
#25
I work in an office full of non stop pranking and ball busting. My coworkers like to have new interns fire me on their first day and make videos of it. Here is the most recent from Monday:
 
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