First 100 Hours Agenda

#1
volinbham

volinbham

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#1
I saw an early draft of Nancy 'bin Pelosi's agenda for the first 100 hours.

Illegal immigrants - free transportation over the border, voting rights with complementary transportation to the nearest democratic precinct, prescription drug benefits, minimum wage of $25/hr, counseling for the trauma of being called "illegal" and counseling for the trauma of being called an "alien".

Terrorists - take-a-jihadist-to-lunch day, legal defense fund, compensation for pain and suffering caused by evil imperalist pig dogs (USA), free Internet access and secure communications links for "get-togethers".

People making $100K per year or more - tax rate of 97% on earnings and 96% on capital gains, mandatory dunking booth participation where the "downtrodden" can dunk the "rich" in tapioca (all throws result in a dunking since we don't want to hurt the self-esteem of the throwers).

International Relations - daily apologies for looking out for our interests world-wide, 100% funding of UN, leave security council and rotate seat among countries that we've most oppressed.

Military - disband and make pretty flower planters out of tanks, distribute weapons among 3rd world countries that were unable to buy them.

More to come...
 
#2
#2
The revolution has begun.........

Abortion cards......given out to any one who wants one, if you have 5 or more abortions you are eligable for social security at 53.5 years.

Free healthcare for every one!

Demonization of the south.....needless puritanical christians!

Cats living with dogs.......

Bush haters of the world unite, we are in power!

We cure weak liberalism with communism!

Foreign interest are more important than our own!

Give uranium to Iranium!

Our party needed another chance, a century of failure means nothing!

All power to 527s

Stop the economic boom created by Bush!

End tax cuts, stop the menance known as "success"

Give each homeless person a rich republican widow!

America should be ruled by educational elites because they are too stupid to make it on their own!

Stronger on taxes at home, respected by socialist around the world!
 
#3
#3
House Bill H.R. 7940 New National Anthem.

America - our sacred sovereignty,

America - our beloved land,

Mighty will, great glory -

Are yours for all time!


Be praised, our free Fatherland,

Union of ancient fraternal peoples,

By our forefathers was given the wisdom of the nation,

Be praised, our land! We are proud of you!


From the southern seas to the polar lands

Are spread our forests and fields.

You are unique in the world! Such is only you -

Our native land kept by God!

*Note-God will be changed to life force/mother nature. We can not offend any one.

Be praised, our free Fatherland,

Union of ancient fraternal peoples,

By our forefathers was given the wisdom of the nation,

Be praised, our land! We are proud of you!

A wide expanse for dreams and for life

The coming years open up to us.

Our loyalty to the Fatherland gives us strength.

So it was, so it is, so it will be always!

Be praised, our free Fatherland,

Union of ancient fraternal peoples,

By our forefathers was given the wisdom of the nation,

Be praised, our land! We are proud of you!
 
#5
#5
OE...I think a few of the things you mentioned have already been taken care of by the GOP.
 
#6
#6
volinbham said:
I saw an early draft of Nancy 'bin Pelosi's agenda for the first 100 hours.

Illegal immigrants - free transportation over the border, voting rights with complementary transportation to the nearest democratic precinct, prescription drug benefits, minimum wage of $25/hr, counseling for the trauma of being called "illegal" and counseling for the trauma of being called an "alien".

Terrorists - take-a-jihadist-to-lunch day, legal defense fund, compensation for pain and suffering caused by evil imperalist pig dogs (USA), free Internet access and secure communications links for "get-togethers".

People making $100K per year or more - tax rate of 97% on earnings and 96% on capital gains, mandatory dunking booth participation where the "downtrodden" can dunk the "rich" in tapioca (all throws result in a dunking since we don't want to hurt the self-esteem of the throwers).

International Relations - daily apologies for looking out for our interests world-wide, 100% funding of UN, leave security council and rotate seat among countries that we've most oppressed.

Military - disband and make pretty flower planters out of tanks, distribute weapons among 3rd world countries that were unable to buy them.

More to come...
Click to expand...

I think what disappoints me the most about your post is...it just wasn't funny! :no: :)
 
#9
#9
All Vol! said:
Glad I could be of help. After Tuesday, I'm sure you needed something to laugh about. :yess:
Click to expand...

You're right - everything is going to be different now. The dark night has given way to the pure, clean light of day. Evil has been defeated and the good and just now stand prepared to move the world to perfect unity and justice. How could I have been so blind.
 
#10
#10
volinbham said:
You're right - everything is going to be different now. The dark night has given way to the pure, clean light of day. Evil has been defeated and the good and just now stand prepared to move the world to perfect unity and justice. How could I have been so blind.
Click to expand...
:rock:
 
#12
#12
volinbham said:
You're right - everything is going to be different now. The dark night has given way to the pure, clean light of day. Evil has been defeated and the good and just now stand prepared to move the world to perfect unity and justice. How could I have been so blind.
Click to expand...

Congrats to our winner! Your Democrats Rock! sleeveless tee is in the mail...:good!:
 
#17
#17
All Vol! said:
:lolabove:

Perhaps it's time for the What Does Your Political T-Shirt Say? thread. Good one, Bham.
Click to expand...

You're a tough audience member to please.

Actually, instead of tube top I was going to say panties but in the spirit of bipartisanship and a "new tone" I decided otherwise :)
 
#19
#19
volinbham said:
You're a tough audience member to please.

Actually, instead of tube top I was going to say panties but in the spirit of bipartisanship and a "new tone" I decided otherwise :)
Click to expand...

that's very considerate of you. Don't make me send the Honk If You Helped Plant Explosives in the Towers bumper sticker. I'll do it..I swear I will! :pepper:
 
#22
#22
All Vol! said:
that's very considerate of you. Don't make me send the Honk If You Helped Plant Explosives in the Towers bumper sticker. I'll do it..I swear I will! :pepper:
Click to expand...
Lets review.....

1.) There are aliens/spaceships at Area 51.
2.) Elvis is not dead.
3.) Drones actually crashed into the twin towers.
4.) Flight 93 landed safely in Ohio. The website Physics911 claims that the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania was actually not United 93 and that the flights involved in the 9/11 attacks were landed and substituted with other aircraft.
5.) All the cell phone calls were impossible!
6.) 9/11 was actually war games put on by USAF, NORAD, CIA, NRO, FAA, and FEMA.
7.) Jews and Israel-4,000 Jewish employees did not attend work at the WTC on September 11!

My God! You people are now in control of congress....
:cray:
 
#23
#23
H.R. 7894

The Nation's Capitol will be moved to Berkeley,
California.

Nambla President Bill Arnett will be named secretary of education.

Consensual sex age will be lowered to 8 before it is too late!

From this point on our military will be a on a level playing field with the rest of the world.

Due to large amounts of springfield rifles the military will be returning to musket loading rifles.

For conservation reasons all fuel driven vehicles will be replaced by more fuel effecient vehicles. *Animals will not be used due to animal cruelty.
Our new tanks will use solar driven panels. *Note this will increase the probability of being hit by a heat seeking missle.

Our new stealth submarines Virginia and Texas are too quiet.....to create an equal balance the sonar array will play Y.M.C.A. by the Village People so the submarines are detectable.
YouTube - Village People - In the navy
 
#24
#24
and let's not forget that our new camouflage makes our soldiers too invisible, so in the spirit of "fairness" the new combat uniform colors will be yellow, hot pink, and orange.

because, as Robin Williams once said, "if you're gonna fight....clash!!"
 
#25
#25
MG1968 said:
and let's not forget that our new camouflage makes our soldiers too invisible, so in the spirit of "fairness" the new combat uniform colors will be yellow, hot pink, and orange.

because, as Robin Williams once said, "if you're gonna fight....clash!!"
Click to expand...

We will also be returning to the horse hair fabric of the Civil War era.

Horse hair causes infection, we cannot have our soldiers heathly to quick. It would be an unbalance against the terrorist.
 
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