Frank Sinatra -vs- Elvis Presley

Well?

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#13
#13
sinatra puts human females in the mood for making love.
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#14
#14
In a head-to-head battle between, "Things Which Currently, Have Previously or Which Could Ever Possibly Exist" and Elvis - he finishes second (albeit a distant) place to Jesus, and no others.

Any other talk is nonsensical blasphemy and seeks to counteract the very laws of nature, itself.
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#15
#15
Tenacious D said:
In a head-to-head battle between, "Things Which Currently, Have Previously or Which Could Ever Possibly Exist" and Elvis - he finishes second (albeit a distant) place to Jesus, and no others.

Any other talk is nonsensical blasphemy and seeks to counteract the very laws of nature, itself.
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kind of hard to finish second to Jesus when you died of a drug overdose while sitting on the crapper.
 
#16
#16
tri_vol said:
sinatra puts human females in the mood for making love.
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The sound of Elvis' voice has the ability to actually impregnate women, and which will only produce male offspring (he learned his lesson with Lisa Marie, and will never attempt to replicate himself in such an unworthy female vessel again, after having to clean up her biggest guffaw by actually willing Michael Jackson's death from beyond the grave, and in retaliation for their sham of a marriage).

These male descendants will be born as full-fledged 27th degree black belts, flawless hair, and each carrying two gold records, a satchel of panties and scarves, and the keys to a cherry '57 Chevy bellowing a stack of their daddy's illustrious masterworks.

The resulting placenta and afterbirth will be used in the same way that it has for decades - to produce Coca-Cola, power the Internet, as anti-venom for all poisonous creatures, to cure polio, as the essential ingredient in Febreeze, Chanel No. 5, Brut cologne and reactor coolant and as an impenetrable dragon repellant (when's the last time you saw one of them buzz overhead? Never? You're welcome.). Finally, they will possess the ability to bestow a complete menu of over 10,000 sandwich-related delicacies onto the frontal lobes of any woman within 300 yards, because damn, even they'll need something to eat, eventually - and while sucking the blood from the decapitated bodies of Beatles fans is the peak of fun, it's not very sustaining. Well, that, and it's widely presumed that they would have the distinct flavor of a flaccid phallus.

But Sinatra had blue eyes and knew members of the mafioso, so he's got those things in his favor. Give credit where it's due, I always say.
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#17
#17
If we're talking the standards, it's Sinatra. If we were talking 50's/60's pop and the early days of rock n' roll, it's Elvis hands down. Each singer has their time and place.
 
#19
#19
Tenacious D said:
The sound of Elvis' voice has the ability to actually impregnate women, and which will only produce male offspring (he learned his lesson with Lisa Marie, and will never attempt to replicate himself in such an unworthy female vessel again, after having to clean up her biggest guffaw by actually willing Michael Jackson's death from beyond the grave, and in retaliation for their sham of a marriage).

These male descendants will be born as full-fledged 27th degree black belts, flawless hair, and each carrying two gold records, a satchel of panties and scarves, and the keys to a cherry '57 Chevy bellowing a stack of their daddy's illustrious masterworks.

The resulting placenta and afterbirth will be used in the same way that it has for decades - to produce Coca-Cola, power the Internet, as anti-venom for all poisonous creatures, to cure polio, as the essential ingredient in Febreeze, Chanel No. 5, Brut cologne and reactor coolant and as an impenetrable dragon repellant (when's the last time you saw one of them buzz overhead? Never? You're welcome.). Finally, they will possess the ability to bestow a complete menu of over 10,000 sandwich-related delicacies onto the frontal lobes of any woman within 300 yards, because damn, even they'll need something to eat, eventually - and while sucking the blood from the decapitated bodies of Beatles fans is the peak of fun, it's not very sustaining. Well, that, and it's widely presumed that they would have the distinct flavor of a flaccid phallus.

But Sinatra had blue eyes and knew members of the mafioso, so he's got those things in his favor. Give credit where it's due, I always say.
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Good work.

I should also mentioned that, while Sinatra was a mafioso, Elvis had the Memphis Mafia.
 
#24
#24
Was gonna say that a Memphis guy should know about the Memphis Mafia. I lived about a mile from Red West in Bartlett.
 
#25
#25
"standards" gives it to Frank but Elvis is/was a better entertainer.
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