TEXANS (-3) over Cowboys
Take the salad fork that was stuck in the Texans for eight years, pull it out gently, then ram it into the back of the Cowboys as hard as you can. Run! Run, Texans! Run free! You're all growns up! Do your thing!!!!!
(Speaking of the Texans, I received some interesting feedback from Vols fans after praising Arian Foster last week. And by "interesting," I mean "vitriolic." Apparently, they called him "Fumbles Foster" when he played there. One fan even listed all the games in which he killed them the same way I would list my least favorite 2010 John Lackey performances -- with meticulous detail and creepy, serial-killer-like overtones. The Tennessee fans vow that Fumbles Foster will rear his ugly head and ruin the Texans' season (and about 3 million fantasy seasons). And soon. Even though they sounded like spurned boyfriends whose girlfriends dropped 20 pounds and got implants, it did worry me just a tiny bit. I'm not gonna lie.
