Funny Bill Maher quotes

#1
Fine Vol

Fine Vol

Go Vols
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#1
George Bush is like a pull string doll and always says the same thing.

1. GB-We fight them over there so we dont have to fight them here.

2. If we pull out now they will follow us home. BM- What are they Lassie? Hey mom he followed me home can I keep him? No Timmie he is a terrorist!

3. GB-We always thought the oceans could protect us? BM- No we didnt George, you did. We knew our enemies had figured out the boat by now.

4. GB-The world is better off without Sadam.

5. BM- He will bring democracy to Iraq if he has to kill every last one of them.

6. Osama flipped out when they put a comic in a newspaper. George want to put a Hooters in downtown Bagdad.:)
 
#2
#2
Maybe I'm too old, but Bill Maher is about as funny as that idiot Dane Cook.
 
#4
#4
so what if I am? I still enjoy good comedy, especially when it pokes fun at W (see Frank Caliendo). I've just never thought that Maher was funny.
 
#6
#6
Fine Vol said:
George Bush is like a pull string doll and always says the same thing.

1. GB-We fight them over there so we dont have to fight them here.

2. If we pull out now they will follow us home. BM- What are they Lassie? Hey mom he followed me home can I keep him? No Timmie he is a terrorist!

3. GB-We always thought the oceans could protect us? BM- No we didnt George, you did. We knew our enemies had figured out the boat by now.

4. GB-The world is better off without Sadam.

5. BM- He will bring democracy to Iraq if he has to kill every last one of them.

6. Osama flipped out when they put a comic in a newspaper. George want to put a Hooters in downtown Bagdad.:)
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Bill Maher is a wannabe George Carlin, yet, he lacks the work ethic.

Carlin=comedic genius.
Maher=lame idiot.
 
#8
#8
I've always thought that Maher was actually pretty funny when he was just being a comedian. His problem is that he's just not nearly as intelligent as he thinks he is when he goes political.
 
#10
#10
GAVol said:
I've always thought that Maher was actually pretty funny when he was just being a comedian. His problem is that he's just not nearly as intelligent as he thinks he is when he goes political.
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Nailed it. Couldn't agree more.
 
#14
#14
GAVol said:
I've always thought that Maher was actually pretty funny when he was just being a comedian. His problem is that he's just not nearly as intelligent as he thinks he is when he goes political.
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Concur
 
#16
#16
Guys like Maher and Stewart are dying to be perceived as high minded, but there are only so many guys that can pull it off like Carlin, Dennis Miller to an extent and Lewis Black . . . IMO.
 
#17
#17
GAVol said:
Guys like Maher and Stewart are dying to be perceived as high minded, but there are only so many guys that can pull it off like Carlin, Dennis Miller to an extent and Lewis Black . . . IMO.
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May just be a matter of personal taste but I think Stewart is far more high minded than Miller, or at least his writers are. Miller IMO went in full hack mode after his MNF attempt.
 
#18
#18
dan4vols said:
May just be a matter of personal taste but I think Stewart is far more high minded than Miller, or at least his writers are. Miller IMO went in full hack mode after his MNF attempt.
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You're probably right that I'm giving Miller too much credit. I agree about MNF. That was a bad idea from get go.

My problem with Stewart is that it just doesn't take much talent to basically marginalize opposing viewpoints and act like a smartass in front of people who agree with you.
 
#19
#19
Stewart spends 3/4s of his show showing video clips and responding with gestures. To even suggest he is in league with Carlin, Miller, or Black is ludicrous.
 
#20
#20
Conan O'Brien is the best (TV talk show host) IMO but I do like Jon Stewart. George Carlin is in a different league for sure, he is one of the greatest of all-time.
 
#21
#21
GAVol said:
You're probably right that I'm giving Miller too much credit. I agree about MNF. That was a bad idea from get go.

My problem with Stewart is that it just doesn't take much talent to basically marginalize opposing viewpoints and act like a smartass in front of people who agree with you.
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Very true, Stewart and Limbaugh basically provide the same product. They give a face and a voice to those of an opinion, to be heard among the masses. It's human nature I think to gravitate to people who think similarly and so basically it is what it is, tunnel vision entertainment.
 
#23
#23
Don't watch Maher anymore - too transparent and arrogant.

Daily Show still has some funny bits but most of the time the joke is so old and retold that it's boring.

Colbert is very quick witted and eventhough the joke is getting old, I enjoy watching him think on his feet.
 
#24
#24
volinbham said:
Don't watch Maher anymore - too transparent and arrogant.

Daily Show still has some funny bits but most of the time the joke is so old and retold that it's boring.

Colbert is very quick witted and eventhough the joke is getting old, I enjoy watching him think on his feet.
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I agree. Colbert will probably run his course before too long, but it's worth watching him just see him play it so far over the top.
 
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