gsvol
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2008
- Messages
- 14,179
- Likes
- 11
founded by a bunch of gun toting, religious nutjobs!
Bonus humor section:
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
Obama administration officials are recruiting a team of "stealth survey" callers to pose as patients, call doctors' offices and request appointments to see how difficult it is for people to get care when they need it. Fine. When Obamacare clicks in, maybe they can find some stealth doctors to answer the calls.
US Navy Admiral Samuel Locklear said that that NATO forces are actively targeting and trying to kill Gaddafi, despite Obama insisting that "regime change" is not the goal. So, who should we believe? The guy firing the weapons or the guy dodging the question?
Chicago's top cop Garry McCarthy said the city's rampant crime and violence problem is due to "government-sponsored racism." That's a relief. I'd hate to see the criminals take the blame for it.
Over the weekend, Vice President Joe Biden claimed that the Republicans' demands for cutting the federal budget "borders on immoral." In that case, let's throw a balanced budget at 'em and go for a full-blown "hate crime".
President Obama's campaign is now raffling off a chance to have dinner with Joe Biden. They're going to make a fortune off this once word hits the insomniac community.
A new Commerce Department report shows that consumer spending grew at its weakest pace in 20 months. I'm just waiting for Obama to complain that it's because the rich aren't spending their fair share.
The Obama campaign signaled that its fundraising numbers for the second quarter of the year are lower than expected. Pretty much like every other number in the economy. Probably just a coincidence.
One Wall Street banker said he won't publicly support President Obama's reelection campaign because it'd be "bad for business". Now THERE'S a realistic Obama 2012 campaign slogan.
During a radio interview, President Obama said that Republicans have no "proactive vision of how to move forward." That's because when you're headed for a cliff, forward isn't the direction you want to be going.
During his press conference, President Obama passed the buck on the debt, describing it as "bills Congress ran up". Unbelievable. I think he just threw his autopen under the bus.
During an interview on ABC, Bill Clinton said that "now's not the time for big spending cuts". True. It was years ago. But now is what we've got, so now will have to do.
-- Fred Thompson
Congress voted by an overwhelming margin Friday not to authorize the military mission in Libya, but the lawmakers refused to cut off funding for the mission. Congress approaches war the way Amish people go hunting. They sneak up behind a deer, then they build a barn around it.
President Obama had an embarrassing number of no-shows at his fundraising dinner for Wall Street executives Friday. The president is sinking in the polls. He's so unpopular that even Kenyans are saying he was born in the United States.
Illinois ex-governor Rod Blagojevich was convicted Monday of bribery and extortion and shaking down a children's hospital. He looked dignified as he entered the courtroom. Illinois politicians always wear pinstripes so that when they go to jail they don't have to change clothes.
President Obama gave a speech in Iowa Monday and defended his legislative agenda. He's had to adjust with the times. His big applause line used to be that health coverage should be universal in a country that's as rich as America, and about a year ago it began getting big laughs.
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo signed a bill into law allowing same-sex marriages in New York late Friday night, just an hour after it passed the Assembly. Thousands of men rallied in Times Square, hugging and kissing and high-fiving each other. They were divorce lawyers.
President Obama held a White House press conference Wednesday where he denounced Republicans for not raising taxes. He's wearing a look of pending disaster. If the Germans named a passenger blimp after President Obama it could restore the good name of Hindenburg.
President Obama told the country Wednesday that his two daughters Sasha and Malia are more diligent than Congress. He got their ages wrong while praising them. For one reason or another the accuracy of birth information is always a problem with this particular president.
The U.S. Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals said Tuesday that Congress can force U.S. citizens to buy health insurance. Liberty was nice while it lasted. Between Congress's power under the Commerce Clause and the Supreme Court's power under the Due Process Clause, Americans are pretty much left with the power to decide when they go to the bathroom, unless they're on an airplane.
-- Argus Hamilton
Anthony Weiner was photographed this weekend dining with his wife and texting from his cell phone. Maybe he should put the phone away for a few years.
Michele Bachmann is kind of like Sarah Palin but without the charisma or marksmanship.
-- Jimmy Kimmel
Anthony Weiner is reportedly involved in choosing his successor. The first question he asked his potential replacements is, Whats the difference between reply and reply all?
-- Conan
Anthony Weiner is back in the private sector now. When he was a congressman from New York, I think it was his private sector that got him in trouble.
A lot of people are taking time off for the holidays. For instance, Rod Blagojevich is going away for a while.
Anthony Weiner is no longer a congressman, but he wants to pick his replacement. That would be a great endorsement.
-- Letterman
--------------------------------------------
I bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck.
Go figure it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.
I returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.
The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated.
'Nelson,' the technician said to the radio.
The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'
'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers
Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, Every time I'd say, 'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.
Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.
I yelled, '*******!'
Immediately the radio responded with, ladies and gentlemen, The President of The United States
Damn I love this truck . . .
Bonus humor section:
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
Obama administration officials are recruiting a team of "stealth survey" callers to pose as patients, call doctors' offices and request appointments to see how difficult it is for people to get care when they need it. Fine. When Obamacare clicks in, maybe they can find some stealth doctors to answer the calls.
US Navy Admiral Samuel Locklear said that that NATO forces are actively targeting and trying to kill Gaddafi, despite Obama insisting that "regime change" is not the goal. So, who should we believe? The guy firing the weapons or the guy dodging the question?
Chicago's top cop Garry McCarthy said the city's rampant crime and violence problem is due to "government-sponsored racism." That's a relief. I'd hate to see the criminals take the blame for it.
Over the weekend, Vice President Joe Biden claimed that the Republicans' demands for cutting the federal budget "borders on immoral." In that case, let's throw a balanced budget at 'em and go for a full-blown "hate crime".
President Obama's campaign is now raffling off a chance to have dinner with Joe Biden. They're going to make a fortune off this once word hits the insomniac community.
A new Commerce Department report shows that consumer spending grew at its weakest pace in 20 months. I'm just waiting for Obama to complain that it's because the rich aren't spending their fair share.
The Obama campaign signaled that its fundraising numbers for the second quarter of the year are lower than expected. Pretty much like every other number in the economy. Probably just a coincidence.
One Wall Street banker said he won't publicly support President Obama's reelection campaign because it'd be "bad for business". Now THERE'S a realistic Obama 2012 campaign slogan.
During a radio interview, President Obama said that Republicans have no "proactive vision of how to move forward." That's because when you're headed for a cliff, forward isn't the direction you want to be going.
During his press conference, President Obama passed the buck on the debt, describing it as "bills Congress ran up". Unbelievable. I think he just threw his autopen under the bus.
During an interview on ABC, Bill Clinton said that "now's not the time for big spending cuts". True. It was years ago. But now is what we've got, so now will have to do.
-- Fred Thompson
Congress voted by an overwhelming margin Friday not to authorize the military mission in Libya, but the lawmakers refused to cut off funding for the mission. Congress approaches war the way Amish people go hunting. They sneak up behind a deer, then they build a barn around it.
President Obama had an embarrassing number of no-shows at his fundraising dinner for Wall Street executives Friday. The president is sinking in the polls. He's so unpopular that even Kenyans are saying he was born in the United States.
Illinois ex-governor Rod Blagojevich was convicted Monday of bribery and extortion and shaking down a children's hospital. He looked dignified as he entered the courtroom. Illinois politicians always wear pinstripes so that when they go to jail they don't have to change clothes.
President Obama gave a speech in Iowa Monday and defended his legislative agenda. He's had to adjust with the times. His big applause line used to be that health coverage should be universal in a country that's as rich as America, and about a year ago it began getting big laughs.
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo signed a bill into law allowing same-sex marriages in New York late Friday night, just an hour after it passed the Assembly. Thousands of men rallied in Times Square, hugging and kissing and high-fiving each other. They were divorce lawyers.
President Obama held a White House press conference Wednesday where he denounced Republicans for not raising taxes. He's wearing a look of pending disaster. If the Germans named a passenger blimp after President Obama it could restore the good name of Hindenburg.
President Obama told the country Wednesday that his two daughters Sasha and Malia are more diligent than Congress. He got their ages wrong while praising them. For one reason or another the accuracy of birth information is always a problem with this particular president.
The U.S. Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals said Tuesday that Congress can force U.S. citizens to buy health insurance. Liberty was nice while it lasted. Between Congress's power under the Commerce Clause and the Supreme Court's power under the Due Process Clause, Americans are pretty much left with the power to decide when they go to the bathroom, unless they're on an airplane.
-- Argus Hamilton
Anthony Weiner was photographed this weekend dining with his wife and texting from his cell phone. Maybe he should put the phone away for a few years.
Michele Bachmann is kind of like Sarah Palin but without the charisma or marksmanship.
-- Jimmy Kimmel
Anthony Weiner is reportedly involved in choosing his successor. The first question he asked his potential replacements is, Whats the difference between reply and reply all?
-- Conan
Anthony Weiner is back in the private sector now. When he was a congressman from New York, I think it was his private sector that got him in trouble.
A lot of people are taking time off for the holidays. For instance, Rod Blagojevich is going away for a while.
Anthony Weiner is no longer a congressman, but he wants to pick his replacement. That would be a great endorsement.
-- Letterman
--------------------------------------------
I bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck.
Go figure it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.
I returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.
The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated.
'Nelson,' the technician said to the radio.
The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'
'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers
Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, Every time I'd say, 'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.
Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.
I yelled, '*******!'
Immediately the radio responded with, ladies and gentlemen, The President of The United States
Damn I love this truck . . .
