How verbal abusers exploit conversational norms

#2
#2
Verbal Abuse that Violates the Maxim of Quality

Several subtypes of verbal abuse exploit violations of the maxim of quality. What these subtypes share in common is that the abuser knows that their statements are false or lack evidence. Here are a few examples:

Sarcasm

While sarcasm can sometimes be used as a form of humor, hurtful sarcasm is a form of verbal abuse that violates the maxim of quality. Abusers who exploit sarcasm as verbal abuse attacks others by saying the opposite of what they mean. Examples:

"It was great to meet your new beau. Wish I had a boyfriend with as many blackheads."
"That mustard stain goes really well with your new hair color."
"Have another doughnut, so you can keep up that double-chin."

Trivializing

In trivializing, the abuser seeks to make the victim's accomplishments seem insignificant, despite the fact that they know that their trivializing statements are false or lack evidence. Examples:

"You painted the living room. So what?"
"Did you really just refer to your college degree? I would hardly call that a college degree. They have an 80 percent acceptance rate."
"You write poetry? I always found that to be a waste of time."

Belittling

Some verbal abusers purposely make condescending or patronizing statements about you, despite knowing that their statements are false or lack evidential backing. Examples:

"You have no sense of humor. Maybe that's why no one likes you."
"Do you really want to go for a walk by yourself? You're never going to find your way back. Not with your sense of direction."
"You know nothing about money. Just leave the money decisions to me."

Undermining

In undermining, the abuser violates the maxim of quality by making negative statements about your suggestions, opinions, or arguments, despite knowing their statements are false or lack evidence. Examples:

"I can't believe you insist on voting when you don't understand politics."
"Are you really suggesting we go out for sushi? That's really dumb. You know we always leave hungry."
"That's the stupidest argument I have heard so far."

Gas Lighting

Gas Lighting is an attempt to make you question your perception, your memory, and even your sanity. Gas lighting need not be verbal in nature, but gas lighters often violate the maxim of quality.

Example 1:

Victim: You said you were with John last Saturday.

Abuser: I never said that. Your memory is terrible.

Example 2:

Victim: Did you hear that sound?

Abuser: No. You must be hallucinating.
 
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#3
#3
AshG said:
A quick read, and very interesting in light of some of what happens in here during heated conversation.

How Verbal Abusers Exploit Conversational Norms

Of the Four Maxims of Communication, the Maxim of Quality seems to be particularly applicable.
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Heated conversation??? There is no heated conversation on this board. You must be hallucinating! 😉
 
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#8
#8
Wasnt trying to derail your thread Ash..just realized that it could . Links and discussion are my favorite way to self educate.

Fwiw I sent this video to my 13yo daughter a while back (nothing talks more than a 13yo girl in my experience) and she is now a sharpshooter lol....she calls out fallacies in whatever we watch.
 
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#11
#11
apevol said:
Humans are a bunch of animals and this is a bunch of pretentious horseshit. Most of you are lucky I havent eaten your kidneys and used your bones to fashion weapons
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Good to see ya bud. Come on down to Charlotte and we will drink a few. Beats picking fleas of your sister at the zoo ....
 
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#14
#14
marcusluvsvols said:
Good to see ya bud. Come on down to Charlotte and we will drink a few. Beats picking fleas of your sister at the zoo ....
Click to expand...
yo check your email. Sad to say I wont be drinkin nothing for the foreseeable future. When I do start back at it you're on!
 
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#16
#16
AshG said:
Verbal Abuse that Violates the Maxim of Quality

Several subtypes of verbal abuse exploit violations of the maxim of quality. What these subtypes share in common is that the abuser knows that their statements are false or lack evidence. Here are a few examples:

Sarcasm

While sarcasm can sometimes be used as a form of humor, hurtful sarcasm is a form of verbal abuse that violates the maxim of quality. Abusers who exploit sarcasm as verbal abuse attacks others by saying the opposite of what they mean. Examples:

"It was great to meet your new beau. Wish I had a boyfriend with as many blackheads."
"That mustard stain goes really well with your new hair color."
"Have another doughnut, so you can keep up that double-chin."

Trivializing

In trivializing, the abuser seeks to make the victim's accomplishments seem insignificant, despite the fact that they know that their trivializing statements are false or lack evidence. Examples:

"You painted the living room. So what?"
"Did you really just refer to your college degree? I would hardly call that a college degree. They have an 80 percent acceptance rate."
"You write poetry? I always found that to be a waste of time."

Belittling

Some verbal abusers purposely make condescending or patronizing statements about you, despite knowing that their statements are false or lack evidential backing. Examples:

"You have no sense of humor. Maybe that's why no one likes you."
"Do you really want to go for a walk by yourself? You're never going to find your way back. Not with your sense of direction."
"You know nothing about money. Just leave the money decisions to me."

Undermining

In undermining, the abuser violates the maxim of quality by making negative statements about your suggestions, opinions, or arguments, despite knowing their statements are false or lack evidence. Examples:

"I can't believe you insist on voting when you don't understand politics."
"Are you really suggesting we go out for sushi? That's really dumb. You know we always leave hungry."
"That's the stupidest argument I have heard so far."

Gas Lighting

Gas Lighting is an attempt to make you question your perception, your memory, and even your sanity. Gas lighting need not be verbal in nature, but gas lighters often violate the maxim of quality.

Example 1:

Victim: You said you were with John last Saturday.

Abuser: I never said that. Your memory is terrible.

Example 2:

Victim: Did you hear that sound?

Abuser: No. You must be hallucinating.
Click to expand...
Some of you are really good at these.
 
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#17
#17
Me and my coworker must really be abusing each other.
 
#18
#18
One thing I see a lot of on VolNation is the elitist, indirect form of insult. It goes something like this :

Vol Fan A : "Josh Heupel is the guest speaker at an offensive coaching clinic next weekend. Maybe Rick Barnes should attend?"

Vol Fan B's reply : "Right, because learning the finer points of the spread would really help a basketball coach. We have yet another public school product proving that education in America is on the decline."

The End Result : Vol Fan A is so taken aback by the pompous absurdity of another Vol fan insulting public school education on the fan forum of a public school (The University of Tennessee, of course), that he abandons the initial topic of discussion in favor of an unrelated debate concerning snobbery/decorum, and/or education, and the thread is effectively hijacked.
 
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