I think that is the coach's ego getting in the way. I understand feeling like a kid is being mistreated, and wanting to stand up for that, but by turning away big time programs, you are actually hurting the chances of more of your kids to do big things.
Wouldn't it be better to allow anyone to come to campus to see your players, and just advise them: "hey remember what Coach X did to so-and-so last year?"
Let the kids and families make their own decisions. Don't make the decisions for them.
I think what really ticks HS coaches off is when players get over-recruited but not told until very late in the deal . Then the kid ..unless he is a top of the food chain recruit ...gets stuck going to a school that was not even on their list or if he is a fringe guy ...gets demoted to mid-levels or even down a division.
Best not to leave them standing at the alter and make your changes early in the process. ..so the athlete has time to get on with his business.
High school coaches are 'Daddy' in their minds and dont stay very objective on stuff like that .