milo's bowl guide

[milohimself]

Well, it seems that the bowl games are final. So I'm going to make my own bowl guide, rating games on amount of potential badnosity.

* Crap. Only worth watching for the most die-hard of football fans; even then, slam a few beers down.
** So-so. Has a slight potential to turn into an interesting game, but probably only worthwhile to fans of the teams in it.
*** Good. Make sure you watch this game; Won't be an all timer, but worth your while.
**** YES. This is the type of game we wait all year for. Cancel weddings, funerals, childbirths, taxes, sex and death. Watch football.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
December 19th, 8pm EST ESPN2 in San Diego, California
Texas Christian vs. Northern Illinois
Rating: *1/2
Everybody's 99 yard hail mary pick to win the Heisman Trophy, Garrett Wolfe, will be the feature of this game. Would have been more interesting, but the Froggies sputtered out against their Mormon foes, dropping games to BYU and Utah, after an impressive 2005 campaign. And for the Huskies, what started off as an impressive campaign for Wolfe with a bunch of yards on Ohio State, has gone down the tubes as well into a mediocre season. Wolfe having a big game could make it decent, but I doubt it. Then again, it's the only game of the day so we'll all be watching anyhow.

Pioneer PureVision Las Vegas Bowl
December 21st, 8pm EST ESPN in Las Vegas, Nevada
Oregon vs. Brigham Young
Rating:***
Now I know a few of you are thinking "3/4 for the Ducks and the Stormin' Mormons?" Well, yes. No regional bias here, either. Got a little bit of intrigue, as former BYU offensive coordinator Gary Crowton is the man behind UofO's wide-open offensive scheme. Brady Leaf has been on and off running the offense, but it is believed the fleet-footed Dennis Dixon will be back under center for the yellow and green for this bowl game. BYU had close calls early season with Arizona and Boston College but bounced back, and has had an undefeated campaign in the Mountain West. With traditionally strong QB play of an also wide-open BYU offense vs. a running and gunning Dennis Dixon could turn into a very fun, high-scoring affair. Plus, it's Vegas, baby. Vegas.

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
December 22nd, 8pm EST ESPN2 in New Orleans, Louisiana
Rice vs. Troy
Rating: *
How did Rice make a bowl game? What the crap? And against a Sun Bowl team... Some people thought Troy would be interesting after they scared the pants off Florida State, but that hasn't come to fruition. Not worth your time... Although I'll watch it, as it's the only bowl game of the day. And I think Rice still runs a triple option.

Papajohns.com Bowl
December 23rd, 1pm EST ESPN2 in Birmingham, Alabama
South Florida vs. East Carolina
Rating: *
There's only one recognizable win by either of these teams, and that's South Florida's upset of West Virginia. Let's just wait for a slobber-laden pick for ECU to win this one by ol' Lou, the homer that he is. I can't think of any good reason to watch this bowl game. Plus, it starts at 10AM PST. I'll be sleeping in.

New Mexico Bowl
December 23rd, 4:30pm EST ESPN in Albuquerque, New Mexico
New Mexico vs. San Jose State
Rating: *
After last season, I really doubted anybody thought San Jose State would be bowl elligible, and after New Mexico's season opener loss to D-IAA Portland State, I doubt anybody thought they would be bowling. Well, SJSU fought back with a local win over Stanford and an almost-win over Boise State, and New Mexico has struggled to a .500 record. Valiant season efforts by both teams, but they're both still bad teams. I'll drag myself downstairs to watch this one when I wake up around 1:30-ish PST.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
December 23rd, 8pm EST ESPN in Fort Worth, Texas
Tulsa vs. Utah
Rating: **
In this classic C-USA/MWC matchup, we've got two programs in somewhat different directions. Tulsa suffered a three-game slip but managed to come back for a 38-3 win over Tulane at the season's end, while Utah hit a 3-game win streak but barely fell against their in-state rivals BYU. If the Utes can recover that momentum, and Tulsa can continue to build off that drubbing of Tulane, this could be a decent battle between two traditionally good offenses.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
December 24th, 8pm EST ESPN in Honolulu, Hawaii
Arizona State vs. Hawaii
Rating: ***1/2
What a Christmas Eve matchup! This one's your BCS stocking stuffer, folks. In case you haven't noticed, Hawaii has been putting up crazy offensive numbers all season, thanks to the arm of Colt Brennan and the offensive scheming of June Jones. Facing off another traditionally high-powered offense in Arizona State. Not only that, but the Sun Devils are notorious for embodying that stereotype about Pac-10 defenses. In Dirk Koetter's last game, my money says we may very well be dealing with a 100 total-point barn-burner in the middle of the great Pacific.

Motor City Bowl
December 26th, 7:30pm EST ESPN in Detroit, Michigan
Middle Tennessee State vs. Central Michigan
Rating: 1/2
Umm... MTSU? MAC? Detroit? Detroit in the winter? Keep playing with your new Christmas toys.

Emerald Bowl
December 27th, 8pm EST ESPN in San Francisco, California
Florida State vs. California-Los Angeles
Rating: *1/2
Kind of strange to see two highly recognizable names in college athletics playing in an obscure bowl sponsored by a nut company. Either way, with UCLA's usually-stifling defense and Florida State's extreme offensive woes, I look for the Bruins to win handily. I give it an extra half star in the chance it does turn into a decent game.

PetroSun Independence Bowl
December 28th, 4:30PM EST ESPN in Shreveport, Louisiana
Oklahoma State vs. Alabama
Rating: **
The up-start Cowboys of Oklahoma State face off against the usually offensive-challenged Alabama Crimson Tide. Okie State has been getting by, most of the season on some offensive play that just won't work against Kines' boys. Game should just be so-so. Watching Okie State try and play offense against Bama's D will be fun; watching Bama's offensive ineptitude will not be.

 

[milohimself]

Holiday Bowl - MPC Computers Bowl coming soon.

 

[tvolsfan]

badnosity is the word of the day.

 

[VolinArizona]

Rice's new coach is awesome, and they do not run the triple option anymore. They run the spread offense, no option, as far as I understand. Their coach has turned them around in one season ... AT RICE!

 

[VolinArizona]

Milo milo milo. I expected more from you.

MTSU/CMU, Tulsa/Utah, and ECU/USF will be very entertaining games. I thought you were a college football fan.

 

[tidwell]

I dunno that I'll make an effort to watch more than a play or two of any of those games...

 

[VolinArizona]

I'm planning on watching as many snaps as I can. Remember, football will be done in a month. FILL IT UP BABY!

 

[tidwell]

I'm looking forward to the bowls in 2007...

 

[milohimself]

Milo milo milo. I expected more from you.

MTSU/CMU, Tulsa/Utah, and ECU/USF will be very entertaining games. I thought you were a college football fan.

I've honestly never seen MTSU play... Never had the chance. I know CMU can put up some offense and has, but I don't like a one-sided game.

And besides, these are my rankings. And I will watch every bowl game I possibly can.

 

[rwemyss]

Badnosity. What a sweet word. Dibs.

 

[milohimself]

Sorry for the wait. I've been hecka busy, finals week coming up and I've been hustling the car market like a madman. I'm losing sleep over this bowl guide, but I felt it would be a worthwhile endeavor.

You know the ranking system.

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
December 28th, 8pm EST ESPN in San Diego, California
California vs. Texas A&M
Rating: ***
I give this one a solid three stars. Should be a pretty high-scoring affair. Cal has had their ups and downs, and while not being the team to challenge USC people thought they would be, Jeff Tedford has led the Golden Bears to being tied for the best record in the Pac-10. On the opposite side of the ball, Hurricane Dennis's Aggies have bounced back from consecutive losses to Big XII division champs Nebraska and Oklahoma with a signature win over Texas. Defense had not been a particularly strong suit for TAMU, but they went and held the Longhorns to 7 points. What will be important is if A&M continues their upswing of beating Texas to San Diego, or if they have a letdown.

Texas Bowl
December 28th 5pm EST on NFL Network in Houston, Texas
Rutgers vs. Kansas State
Rating:*1/2
This one is somewhat of an interesting matchup... On paper, it shouldn't be much of a challenge for Rutgers, and that's kind of what I expect. Rutgers defense is actually okay, and KState has been having large offensive inconsistencies this season, especially running the ball. Conventional wisdom says Ray Rice will have a big game. I think conventional wisdom is correct in this case. Plus it's on the NFL, so like half of you won't even be able to watch it anyways. The Holiday Bowl will be better, anyways.

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
December 29th 1pm EST ESPN in Nashville, Tennessee
Clemson vs. Kentucky
Rating: ***
I give this one three stars, just because it will be interesting to see how many yards Clemson can pile up on Kentucky. The Tigers are tied for the 13th best offense in D-IA averaging about 412 yards per game. This is coming in against what most of us know to be a defense that has looked so-so by D-IAA standards. James Davis and CJ Spiller should have a big, big day. Kentucky's offense is good, too, though, so look for something like a Clemson win in the neighborhood of 60-30.

Brut Sun Bowl
December 29th, 2pm EST CBS in El Paso, Texas
Oregon State vs. Missouri
Rating: **1/2
The Log Chompers and Mizzou meet in west Texas for this game. After the Tigers got off to a fast start, they promptly went out and lost to every single decent team they played. Oregon State has had a very up and down season, facing many trials and tribulations. Mike Riley has gone from near-fired to lifetime contract and back all in a season, and Corvallis-ites were about ready to crucify Matt Moore. The Beavs have since gone out, beat USC, Oregon and a ranked Hawaii team. Coming off the Civil War win and their first bowl win (Any time you play at Hawaii, it's a bowl game), I expect the Beavs to take this one.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
December 29th, 4pm EST ESPN in Memphis, Tennessee
Houston vs. South Carolina
Rating:***
I think this one will actually be a pretty good game. South Carolina is not a good team by any means. They have no wins of note, unless you count Clemson... But as terrible as the ACC is this year, I don't. They beat everybody they should have and didn't get any signature wins. Kind of unusual for a Spurrier team, but oh well. Houston features a decent team with one of college football's best quarterbacks, one Kevin Kolb. Spurrier's coaching has guided South Carolina to a bowl, it's no secret that the Gamecocks are sorely lacking in sheer talent. The OBC will have them ready, but we'll see if Kolb can take advantage of some physical shortcomings.

Insight Bowl
December 29th 7:30pm EST NFL Network in Tempe, Arizona
Texas Tech vs. Minnesota
Rating: ***1/2
I think this one will be a great shootout. Texas Tech's offense is always crazy, and to be frank, Minnesota's d has flat-out sucked against good offenses. Allowed 42 points by Cal, 48 points by Wisconsin, and 44 points by Ohio State. The Gophers are, however, coming off a three game win-streak, which could easily be carried into Arizona. I think this ought to be a great Big XII-Big Ten matchup.

Champs Sports Bowl
December 29th, 8pm EST on ESPN in Orlando, Florida
Purdue vs. Maryland
Rating: **1/2
This is a game between two teams coming from a very similar place. Maryland and Purdue have quietly put together unexpectedly decent seasons. Although the flipside of quietly doing well, means you're not making any noise. Neither of these teams are extremely good, but they are about even. So it should be a decent game.

Meineke Car Care Bowl
December 30th 1pm EST ESPN in Charlotte, North Carolina
Navy vs. Boston College
Rating: **1/2
What we got here is a battle for the eastern seaboard. Boston College has had an up and down season, with highs as high as beating Virginia Tech, Clemson and Maryland, to lows as low as losing to NC State. On the other side, we have an always fun to watch Navy team coming off yet another decent season. Should be a real test for the Midshipmen's option game. I can't really think of much that BC would be playing for aside from further embarassing the ACC.

Alamo Bowl
December 30th, 4:30pm EST ESPN in San Antonio, Texas
Texas vs. Iowa
Rating: **
Both teams have had dissappointing seasons. Texas suffered an early-season beatdown at the hands of Ohio State, but then went on to look like they would again control the Big XII with a big win over Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout. The Longhorns have since dropped games to KState and Texas A&M and lost the Big XII South to Oklahoma. Iowa has had an all-around disappointing, after being picked fairly high in the preseason rankings and a sleeper pick to win the Big Ten behind the QB play of Drew Tate. The Hawkeyes went on to lose six games, including Indiana and Northwestern. This game is really a last chance for each team to salvage something of their season.

Chick-fil-A Bowl
December 30th, 8pm EST ESPN in Atlanta, Georgia
Georgia vs. Virginia Tech
Rating: ***
What we're dealing with here is basically two teams with schizophrenic personalities. At their best, they're very, very good teams and at their worst, downright awful. Most of us would usually expect to see Frank Beamer and Mark Richt meet during 2007 rather than 2006, but such is life. I give this game three stars, because if both teams show up, this is a BCS-quality game. If not, we're in for a snooze-fest.

MPC Computers Bowl
December 31st, 7:30pm EST ESPN in Boise, Idaho
Miami (yes, Florida) vs. Nevada
Rating: ****
Well, I guess we all know the purpose of New Year's Eve this season. In the only game of the day, the entire country will be able to sit and ponder exactly how far Miami has fallen. The 2001 national champs, among the most dominant teams in the history of college football, is now playing a bowl game on the smurf turf in Boise, Idaho against a 4-loss team from the WAC. I make this one a four-star because we will all be able to tune in and laugh at The U. Either we laugh at them for simply being there, or even harder if they actually lose.