More Bama Jokes

#1
Jasongivm6

Jasongivm6

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#1
An Alabama Fan and his girlfriend were embracing passionately in the front seat of a car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked. "No" he replied. A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?". "No" he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."





BTW, these are Bama cousins living in the little brother UT
 
#2
#2
Two Alabama Fans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other. One is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Bobby Ray, whatcha got in the bag?" "Just some chickens." "If i guess how many there are, can i have one?" "Hell, i'll give you both of them!" "OK, uummmm...five?"
 
#4
#4
An Auburn, Tennessee and a Alabama student were all having lunch together on a bridge outside Birmingham. The Auburn student opens his lunch box and says, "A hotdog again! if i have to eat one more hotdog i'm going to jump off this bridge!"
The Tennessee student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, "Salad again! if i have to eat salad one more time i'm going to jump too!"
Lastly the Bama student opens his lunchbox and complains, "Peanut butter and jelly! if i get peanut butter and jelly one more time i'm going to end it all too!"
The next day the Auburn student finds another hotdog and jumps... the Tennessee student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too... finally the Bama student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.
Later when the three mothers were grieving the Auburn mother cries, "If i had only known he didn't like hotdogs," and the Tennessee mother cried, "I thought salad was good for him." The Bama mother then exclaimed, "I don't understand... he fixed his own lunch!"
 
#6
#6
Ok, One more


A guy went to Tuscaloosa and picked up one of those new Mercedes. He was testing it out in the parking lot, turned on the radio and nothing happened. Furious, he demanded to see the plant manager, and told her "When i buy a $50,000 car i expect the *@ radio to work."
The plant manager explained to him that the radio had been programed to his voice and all he had to do was tell the radio what he wanted to hear. Pretty neat stuff.
He got back into the car and said "Country music", and old Willie started singing. "Rock and Roll", he exclaimed, and immediately Elvis started crooning. "Easy listening", he remarked, and all at once it sounded like he was in an elevator.
He was relaxed, driving up I-59 to Birmingham, and listening to smooth sounds. Then a pickup truck with two good ole boys almost ran him off the road.
"Stupid rednecks!" he screamed.
The radio immediately blurted out, "TOUCHdooooooooown AllaBAAAAAAAmaaa!!!!"
 
#7
#7
You're doin' good, keep 'em coming jason!! :clapping:
 
#8
#8
bryan cam home and said " dad we played football today and i had 300 yards" he said... its because your an alabama fan... next day he bryan came home and said " dad we played basketball today and i had 42 points" its because you are and alabama fan son...

the next day bryan came home and said " hey dad, today me and some friends compared sizes of penis and mine was longest... is it because im an alabama fan?" no son... its because you are 19...

*bryan was in third grade*


:birgits_giggle: :birgits_giggle: :birgits_giggle:
 
#9
#9
Originally posted by Jasongivm6@Sep 29, 2005 10:04 PM
Some Tide fans are still angry that Forrest Gump didn't win the Heisman.
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Now that is damn funny!!! :lolabove: :lolabove: :lolabove:
 
#10
#10
Why are there no Nativity scenes on the Alabama campus at Christmas?
A : Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin!
 
#11
#11
An Alabama hitchhiker was picked up by a guy in a big Lincoln Continental. The Bama Fan noticed a bunch of golf tees on the front seat and asked, "What are those things for?" The driver said, "They're to hold my balls when i drive." "Boy," exclaimed the Bama Fan, "these Lincoln Continentals have everything, don't they?"
 
#12
#12
Tennessee and Bama were playing a game at Tennessee. With about two minutes left in the first half, the Vols had the ball with a first down. A Bama fan sets some firecrackers off. The Vols, thinking it was halftime, ran off the field. Three plays later, Bama punts.
 
#13
#13
Two Auburn fans were riding to the game in a pick up truck when they saw two stranded Bama fans, so they told them to hop in the back and they would give them a ride to the game. On the way the truck swerved and went into a lake. The two Auburn fans died because they could not open the door. The two Bama fans died because they could not open the tailgate.
 
#15
#15
A Tennessee fan and an Alabama fan went to Las Vegas on vacation to play the slots. The 2 friends decided to split up and see which machines were working best. When the 2 friends met at the end of the day, the Tennessee fan had broke even, but the Bama fan was loaded down with quarters. The Auburn fan asked him how he did it. The Bama fan said he found a machine that would give you 4 quarters every time you put a dollar in it!
 
#16
#16
Have done this one earlier in another thread but what the hell.
What do a Bama fan and a maggott have in common?
Answer: They both can live off of a dead bear for over 20 years...
 
#17
#17
Originally posted by Jasongivm6@Sep 30, 2005 3:59 PM
A Tennessee fan and an Alabama fan went to Las Vegas on vacation to play the slots. The 2 friends decided to split up and see which machines were working best. When the 2 friends met at the end of the day, the Tennessee fan had broke even, but the Bama fan was loaded down with quarters. The Auburn fan asked him how he did it. The Bama fan said he found a machine that would give you 4 quarters every time you put a dollar in it!
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Where did the Auburn guy come from? :blink:
 
#18
#18
Originally posted by hmanvolfan@Sep 30, 2005 11:07 PM
Where did the Auburn guy come from?    :blink:
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IM HUMAN!! OK!!!

just kidding. I have no idear
 
#19
#19
Originally posted by hmanvolfan@Sep 30, 2005 11:04 PM
Have done this one earlier in another thread but what the hell.
What do a Bama fan and a maggott have in common?
Answer: They both can live off of a dead bear for over 20 years...
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:birgits_giggle: :birgits_giggle: :birgits_giggle:
 
#20
#20
Maybe he was the Bama(male)Cheerleader that transfered from Auburn to UAT and Yelled WAR EAGLE on national TV before the IRON BOWL!!!
O By the way he didn't make the trip to Hawaii!!!! :D
 
#21
#21
Two Bama fans pull up to a lumberyard. 1 goes in and tells the clerk that he needs some 4 by 2's. The clerk replies "don't you mean 2 by 4's?" Looking puzzled he goes back out to the car. He and his buddy have about a 10 minute discussion and the guy comes back in. "You're right we need 2 by 4's" The clerk asks " How long do you want them?" Again looking perplexed the man goes back outside to talk to his buddy in the car. 15 minutes later he returns and says "We're building a house so we'll need them for a long time."
 
#22
#22
Originally posted by volmanjr@Oct 7, 2005 11:59 AM
Two Bama fans pull up to a lumberyard. 1 goes in and tells the clerk that he needs some 4 by 2's. The clerk replies "don't you mean 2 by 4's?" Looking puzzled he goes back out to the car. He and his buddy have about a 10 minute discussion and the guy comes back in. "You're right we need 2 by 4's" The clerk asks " How long do you want them?" Again looking perplexed the man goes back outside to talk to his buddy in the car. 15 minutes later he returns and says "We're building a house so we'll need them for a long time."
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:lol: :lolabove: :lol: :lolabove: :lol: :lolabove:
 
#23
#23
Before kickoff an Alabama player runs to the sideline to makeout with his cheerleader girlfriend. The girl hesitates saying her parents were watching. The Alabama player says,"Don't worry, theysa my parents too."


:crazy:
 
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