"There was a huge scientific breakthrough today. Researchers say they are very close to finding someone from Obama's Cabinet who's actually paid their taxes."
Jay Leno
"It is easy for the other side to advocate for higher taxes because, you know what? They don't pay them." --House GOP Whip Eric Cantor
"For all the promises of a revolution in ethics, President Obama has created a new syndrome: The well-off can be made to stop evading their taxes by nominating them for cabinet posts." --Victor Davis Hanson
"'Stimulus' comes from the verb stimulare, which is Latin for 'transfer massive sums of money from what remains of the dynamic sector of the economy to the special interests of the Democratic Party.' No, hang on, my mistake. Stimulare means 'to goad.' And, on that front, the Democrats are doing an excellent job. They've managed to goad 58 percent of the American people into opposing the 'stimulus' package." --columnist Mark Steyn
"Even if the spending could give the economy a jolt, at what price? I don't mean the legislation's overt price tag. I mean the production lost because the money borrowed by the government won't be available for private investment aimed at satisfying consumers. Do we want politicians directing how scarce resources are used? I'd rather have those decisions made by entrepreneurs who must please consumers or go bankrupt." --columnist John Stossel
"Using long, drawn-out processes to put money into circulation to meet an emergency is like mailing a letter to the fire department to tell them that your house is on fire. If you cut taxes tomorrow, people would have more money in their next paycheck, and it would probably be spent by the time they got that paycheck, through increased credit card purchases beforehand." --economist Thomas Sowell
"Big government is where nations go to die -- not in Keynes' 'long run,' but sooner than you think." --columnist Mark Steyn
"The principle that the end justifies the means is in individualist ethics regarded as the denial of all morals. In collectivist ethics it becomes necessarily the supreme rule." ---economist and philosopher Fredrich August von Hayek (1899-1992)
"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest." --Scottish philosopher and economist Adam Smith (1723-1790)
"You know how Congress is. They'll vote for anything if the thing they vote for will turn around and vote for them. Politics ain't nothing but reciprocity." --American humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935)
Nothing but sympathy: "You campaigned to change the culture in Washington, to change the 'politics as usual' culture here. Are you frustrated? Do you think it is much, much harder to do that than you ever anticipated?" --CBS's Katie Couric to Barack Obama on Tom Daschle
Blame the Republicans: "This does read to the public as though the Republicans went after [Tom Daschle], someone that the president very much wanted, and brought him down." --MSNBC's Andrea Mitchell
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain:
"This isn't socialism. ... This is time for all Americans to step up to the plate and give." --former ABC reporter Jami Floyd on the "stimulus" package
"There is another riddle inside a second enigma tonight. A detainee released from Guantanamo Bay is now found to be leading al-Qa'ida operations in Yemen. The knee-jerk questions: Since the guy went back to his terrorist ways, does that not mean we can never close Gitmo? But perhaps the real question is: Since we never tried him, never found him guilty, and the Bush administration set him free, what if he wasn't a terrorist in the first place but we turned him into one by sending him to Gitmo?" --MSNBC's Keith Olbermann
"If Congress acts right away to pass President Obama's Recovery package and then takes decisive action this year to institute a cap-and-trade system for CO2 emissions ... the United States will regain its credibility and enter the Copenhagen treaty talks with a renewed authority to lead the world in shaping a fair and effective treaty. ... A fair, effective and balanced treaty will put in place the global architecture that will place the world -- at long last and in the nick of time -- on a path toward solving the climate crisis and securing the future of human civilization." --greenhouse gasbag Al Gore an expert on credibility.
"Environmentalism and the global warming alarmism is challenging our freedom. ... I'm afraid that the current crisis will be misused for radically constraining the functioning of the markets and market economy all around the world. I'm more afraid of the consequences of the crisis than the crisis itself." --Czech President Vaclav Klaus
"Didn't you ever wonder if the witch doctors themselves thought dropping a virgin in the volcano would really bring good crops? I'm thinking they didn't. But it kept them in their witch-doctor jobs and gave them a few final moments in private with the virgins. And that, boys and girls, is how government works." --columnist Randall Hoven