Tennessee - Where people can't spell
By Erin Camp
Even as I write this in what most people recognize as plain English, I
understand that it might be a little hard for most residents of
Tennessee to
understand, so I'll try to dumb it down as possible Or for the UT
students,
just take this to your professor, pass it off as your own writing and
you'll
likely receive a passing grade. Apparently that's how the profs at UT
"teach" nowadays, especially if you are an athlete (sumbudy who plays
sports). At UGA, our students were at least given a test (however easy
or
hard) before "given" a grade. Apparently getting a passing grade (any
letter
that luks like an A, B, or C) is as easy as getting your diploma at UT.
All
you have to do is go into any bathroom stall at UT, and their diplomas
will
be conveniently located on the wall near the toilet ... I think they've
labeled them "sanitary sheets".
Everyone here knows exactly what UT has to say about us. All the
mullet,
drinking and Georgia jokes -- seriously, it's been done. Yes, we know
how to
correctly spell dawgs. Yes, our mascot ACTUALLY is what we say it is
(we are
the Bulldogs, and lo and behold, we have a bulldog mascot. I guess that
whole concept escaped the UT fans).
Yes, we pregame harder than you party. Yes, we love our football (we do
tend
to win titles occasionally). Yes, we bleed red and black. Yes, we have
freshman quarterbacks ... who shut out South Carolina may I add. Yes,
the
Vols won two years ago, but with a 1-4 record against the Dawgs, I
wouldn't
be so quick to go there. Not too bad for the Vols, whose quarterback
wanted
to ?beat' Georgia "single-handedly, with one hand tied behind his
back."
Yes, we have our share of scandals and yes, we have squeaked by with
close
victories so far this season. But a Win is a win and undefeated is
something
the Vols can't claim ... or spell.
But I digress (I will stop talking bout it, it's two easy). As we all
know
from newspapers, sportscasts, and websites -- or in Tennessee's case,
two
tin cans tied together by a rope -- UT is making its bi-yearly (ery
uther
yere) trip to the Classic City with the futile (down rite sillie) hopes
of
winning against the No. 10-ranked Bulldogs in our own stadium, instead
of
the worlds biggest Home Depot they like to call Neyland Stadium. But
from an
incident that happened last year, there may be stricter (more tuffer)
differences to this game.
Last year, Athletic Director Damon Evans confirmed (sed) on this day
that
UGA received a letter (the kind you git in the mayl) from University of
Tennessee Campus Operations requesting (askin four) payment of a fine
for
littering (trashin up the place). President Michael Adams, who has
recently
led a charge to clean up the UGA campus on game day, expressed (sed he
wuz
sorry bout) "regret" over the situation. He promised to meet with Head
Coach
Mark Richt to discuss the allegation (talk bout the ishue). The letter
from
UT was apparently generated after the empty can of WHOOPAZZ that
Georgia
opened on Tennessee, which was not disposed of properly after the game
inside Neyland Stadium. "We usually designate one of the freshmen to
pick up
the empty can." Georgia Safety Greg Blue said. "I guess with all the UT
fans
leaving early, he got distracted." Phil Fulmer is expected to contact
the
league office about Georgia's use of the ENTIRE can. They also wish to
discuss the issue of the last three years of rent on Neyland Stadium
that
Fulmer owes Richt ... seeing as how Richt owns the Vols in it.
This year, the Dawgs victory will be followed by the weekly tobacco
spittin'
contest held by the UT cheerleaders, and they need folks to play ...
any
Volunteers?
Erin Camp is a senior at Georgia and will likely never step foot in
Tennessee after this story.
