volmanjr
Just Living the Good Life!
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2004
- Messages
- 20,101
- Likes
- 4,194
1. Learn to work th toilet seat. If its up, put it down. We need it up , you need it down. You don't hear us bitch'n when you leave it down.
2. If you won't dress like a Victoria Secret girl, don't expect us to act like a soap oprea guy.
3. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect gift again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as hunting, fishing, football or monster trucks.
7. Sunday=sports. It's like a full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
8. Shopping is not a sport, and no we are not going to think of it that way.
9. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. you have enough clothes and you have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11.Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work.Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!!!
12. No, we don't know what day it is , we never will. Mark anniversaries on the calender.
13. Peeing standing up is more difficult, we're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Most guys own 3 pairs of shoes , why would you think we would be able to pick 1 pair out of 30 that would look good with that dress?
15. yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
16. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
17. Sympathy are what your girlfriends are for.
18. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a serious medical condition. See a doctor.
19. Check your oil!
20. It is not is our best interest or yours to take the quiz together, no, it doesn't matter wich quiz.
21. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. all comments become null and void after 7 days.
22. If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and 1 way makes you sad or angry , we meant it the other way.
23. Let us ogle. We're gonna look anyway; its genetic.
24. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, not both.
25. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or at halftime.
26. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is not a color, its a friut.
27. If it itches, It will be scratched!
28. Beer is as exciting for us as hand bags are for you.
29. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying , but it's not worth the hassle.
30. What the hell is a doily?
2. If you won't dress like a Victoria Secret girl, don't expect us to act like a soap oprea guy.
3. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect gift again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as hunting, fishing, football or monster trucks.
7. Sunday=sports. It's like a full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
8. Shopping is not a sport, and no we are not going to think of it that way.
9. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. you have enough clothes and you have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11.Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work.Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!!!
12. No, we don't know what day it is , we never will. Mark anniversaries on the calender.
13. Peeing standing up is more difficult, we're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Most guys own 3 pairs of shoes , why would you think we would be able to pick 1 pair out of 30 that would look good with that dress?
15. yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
16. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
17. Sympathy are what your girlfriends are for.
18. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a serious medical condition. See a doctor.
19. Check your oil!
20. It is not is our best interest or yours to take the quiz together, no, it doesn't matter wich quiz.
21. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. all comments become null and void after 7 days.
22. If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and 1 way makes you sad or angry , we meant it the other way.
23. Let us ogle. We're gonna look anyway; its genetic.
24. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, not both.
25. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or at halftime.
26. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is not a color, its a friut.
27. If it itches, It will be scratched!
28. Beer is as exciting for us as hand bags are for you.
29. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying , but it's not worth the hassle.
30. What the hell is a doily?
lol: 