Vols16Colts18
Senior Member
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- Jan 12, 2005
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Top 8 morons of 2004... (Take a minute and have a good laugh)
1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he
lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million
severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After
firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was
standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and
give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
A San Francisco man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Sacramento Kwik Stop and asked for all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so to
increase his income he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who
just wouldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked
each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money
or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first
child?" the doctor asked. "No you idiot!" t he man shouted, "This is her
husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for
trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a
thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed
to keep his hand in his pocket, (hellllllooooooo!
.
8. THE GRAND FINALE (You Gotta Love This One...!
Last summer, on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't
get their brand new 22-ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost
every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After
about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted over to a nearby
marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A
thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the
propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys
jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he
was laughing so hard he gagged and almost drowned.
This is true...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place , was the trailer.
Is it frightening that the majority of these took place in California?
1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he
lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million
severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After
firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was
standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and
give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
A San Francisco man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Sacramento Kwik Stop and asked for all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so to
increase his income he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who
just wouldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked
each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money
or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first
child?" the doctor asked. "No you idiot!" t he man shouted, "This is her
husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for
trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a
thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed
to keep his hand in his pocket, (hellllllooooooo!
. 8. THE GRAND FINALE (You Gotta Love This One...!
Last summer, on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't
get their brand new 22-ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost
every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After
about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted over to a nearby
marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A
thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the
propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys
jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he
was laughing so hard he gagged and almost drowned.
This is true...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place , was the trailer.
Is it frightening that the majority of these took place in California?
