Urban Meyer talks to his players after the Ole Miss loss

[sickemsmokey10]

By request, the following is a transcript from the Florida locker room after their recent home loss to the team that lost at home to Wake Forest.

Meyer: Fellers, I’m not quite sure what to say. I guess I’d like to start out by saying I’m proud of each and every one of you, and I’d like to tell you that I’m really pleased with the effort I saw, the desire to win, and your total refusal to roll over and lose the game. I’d like to tell you that… but it’s all bull----. The polish is off the turd. You ----ers are make me sick.

Spikes: Say what???

Meyer: Sorry, got caught up in a moment of brutal honesty, and, you know, honesty’s really not my thing. I’m generally at my best when I’m lying my sorry ass off to players. But this isn’t recruiting, so…

Tebow: Coach, I just want to apologize for not winning the game.

Meyer: Gee, Timmy, that’s really swell, but, uhhh, take a quick look around the room and tell me what you see.

Tebow: Well, uhhh, I guess lockers… some dirty towels… uhhh… oh, and showers. I like showers!

Meyer: Notice anything else?

Tebow: Hmmm… several guys wearing Tim Tebow outfits?

Meyer: Those are uniforms.

Tebow: Right, Tim Tebow “uniforms.”

Meyer: Timmy, those are your teammates.

Tebow: Teammates?

Meyer: Yes, other players on the team.

Tebow: Team?

Meyer: Yes, Timmy. A functional unit of people working together for a common goal.

Tebow: You mean, like, getting Tim Tebow into the end zone?

Meyer: Like getting Florida into the win column, which, by the way, is something we’ve never done when trailing in the second half since you’ve been at Florida.

Tebow: I’m (sniff) sorry, Coach. You’re right (sniff sniff) and you’re such an awesome guy. No one will work harder to make us win, especially since we’re better than everyone else and deserve to win (sob). I’ll work harder to score and to run and to awkwardly heave the ball downfield. I’ll will us to…

Meyer: Save it for your worshippers, Timmy.

Tebow: I’m sorry.

Meyer: Whatever. Can anybody tell me what it takes to make a champion?

Tartt: Biscuits and mustard?

Meyer: What?

Tartt: Maybe some o’ them French-fried ’taters?

Meyer: Jim, go outside and dig a hole.

Tartt leaves the lockerroom.

Meyer: Somebody do me a favor and lock the door behind him.

Tebow: I’m sorry I didn’t lock the door. I promise to work hard to dig a better hole.

Meyer: Don’t be ridiculous Timmy. How could you dig a bigger hole than a fumble on our own 18, giving us back-to-back turnovers on consecutive plays?

Tebow: I hadn’t really thought about it that way.

Meyer: We didn’t recruit you to think.

Cooper: Can I wash my hair now?

Meyer: Shut the ---- up.

Pierre-Louis: At least it’s early in the season.

Meyer: What???

Pierre-Louis: It’s early in the season.

Meyer: (blink)

Pierre-Louis: I’m just sayin’… You know, it’s early in the season.

Meyer: (blink… blink blink)

Pierre-Louis: …so, you know, we still have time to…

Meyer: How are you even on this team?

Tebow: Team?

Meyer: Look, we just lost at home to Ole Miss. Ole Miss. And it’s not like there was a Manning at quarterback. It was that kid we told we were recruiting Tebow as a linebacker.

Doe: (chuckling) That was a good one!

Meyer: Shut the ---- up.

Doe: Sorry.

Tebow: Hey, that’s my line.

Meyer: Hey. Shut… the ----… up.

Tebow and Doe: Sorry.

Meyer: Has it occurred to any of you how embarrassing this is for me?

Harvin: For you? How do you think we feel?

Meyer: I dunno. How did you feel when you put the tater on the carpet on our 34 on the second play of the second half?

Harvin: Hey, I had 186 yards of offense.

Meyer: Goody gumdrops.

Harvin: Did it occur to you to maybe give me the ball when we needed one lousy yard?

Meyer: Do I need to remind you that I’m your coach?

Harvin: Do I need to remind you what I did to an official in high school?

Meyer: Simmer down, Percy.

Harvin: Don’t make me break this bad foot off in your ass.

Meyer: Save your foot; we might need it for extra points.

Tebow: I promise (sob) to work harder on extra points.

Meyer: Timmy, you don’t kick.

Tebow: Why not?

Meyer: We leave that to the kicker.

Tebow: Kicker?

Meyer: He’s one of your teammates.

Tebow: Teammates?

Meyer: Ye gods.

Pouncey: What now?

Meyer: Now we go to Arkansas.

Other Pouncey: To play Houston Nutt?

Meyer: No, that was Houston Nutt that beat us today.

Pouncey: So who’s beating us next week?

Meyer: We’re not losing next week!

Other Pouncey: How do you know?

Tebow: I’m going to will this team to victory.

Meyer: Timmy…

Tebow: Yes?

Meyer: SHUT THE ---- UP!

Tebow: Sorry.

Haden: You already said that.

Meyer: Holy ----. Do you realize that a mere 4 hours ago I was hailed as a genius? Now I have the same record as that school out west.

Rainey: FS…

Meyer: HEY! Don’t say it! You know I refuse to say or hear their name.

Rainey: Yeah, but we lost to an SEC team. They lost to Wake Forest.

Meyer: The SEC team that beat us lost to Wake Forest.

Rainey: Oh.

Meyer: Yeah.

Rainey: Dang, sometimes it’s not nice to be me.

Meyer: I know the feeling.

 

[tng8r]

Funny......

 

[VictoryVille101]

Dumbest thing probably I've ever seen. Wasted 30 seconds reading the first 10 lines.

 

[VOLinthaNATI]

Dumbest thing probably I've ever seen. Wasted 30 seconds reading the first 10 lines.

Hence, this has 3 replies now and 60 visits.

 

[duckman398686]

too long. i'll pass

 

[GoBigOrange86]

Well I thought it was funny.

 

[VOLatile]

I seriously lol'd earlier when I read this...

 

[Bassmanbruno]

Dumbest thing probably I've ever seen. Wasted 30 seconds reading the first 10 lines.

I lol'd as well. Can't take a joke? I can tolerate Fulmer jokes all day.

 

[VictoryVille101]

I lol'd as well. Can't take a joke? I can tolerate Fulmer jokes all day.

I was in a bad mood earlier I guess. Still havin a hangover from Ole Miss and could possibly have a hangover for much of the year if we don't shape up.

 

[govols182]

I was in a bad mood earlier I guess. Still havin a hangover from Ole Miss and could possibly have a hangover for much of the year if we don't shape up.

I could have told you your offense isn't near as good as last year.

 

[VictoryVille101]

I could have told you your offense isn't near as good as last year.

Hopefully, Mullen will start running the same plays that we ran last year when we averaged 45 pts. a game. I don't know why he has gotten away from that.

 

[BigPapaVol]

Hopefully, Mullen will start running the same plays that we ran last year when we averaged 45 pts. a game. I don't know why he has gotten away from that.

O punches up 30 on Ole Miss, you're supposed to win.
Posted via VolNation Mobile

 

[justingroves]

Hopefully, Mullen will start running the same plays that we ran last year when we averaged 45 pts. a game. I don't know why he has gotten away from that.

He hasn't. Everyone now knows Tebow isn't that great of a passer and dare him to run.

 

[lawgator1]

I guess this is what UT fans have sunk to for entertainment given that they are 1-3 and headed down the proverbial toilet. Say hey to FAU on the way down.

 

[justingroves]

I guess this is what UT fans have sunk to for entertainment given that they are 1-3 and headed down the proverbial toilet. Say hey to FAU on the way down.

lol:

Don't be upset LG. Florida's offense has just been figured out by everyone other than Chavis.

 

[VictoryVille101]

O punches up 30 on Ole Miss, you're supposed to win.
Posted via VolNation Mobile

not when the offense turns the ball over 3 times on their side of the field. They had the short side all day except for the blown coverage.

 

[Bassmanbruno]

I guess this is what UT fans have sunk to for entertainment given that they are 1-3 and headed down the proverbial toilet. Say hey to FAU on the way down.

You have a small penis.

 

[VictoryVille101]

He hasn't. Everyone now knows Tebow isn't that great of a passer and dare him to run.

He absolutely has gotten away from that. I'm sure you'd know. We throw NO bubble screens like we did last year, we have changed the way the offense plays this year simply because Mullen is wanting Tebow to be Tom Brady or Peyton Manning. He simply is not either one of those two. He brings a whole different aspect of the game, mobility. We are telling Tebow to stay in the pocket and make your reads, in all actuality, that is simply not his strength. People are bringing the house and Mullen is only adjusting in the fourth quarter. Against the SEC, that is too late, I don't care who you are playing.

 

[VictoryVille101]

You have a small penis.

haha. LG you have to respond to this.

 

[ZZ13]

lol:

Don't be upset LG. Florida's offense has just been figured out by everyone other than Chavis.

Exactly. Wins over Tennessee are the only reason Florida's program isn't viewed in the same light as Tennessee's over the last 10 years. Vols lost 34 games 99-07 and Florida lost 32. Meyer has had only one season at UF worthy of his pumped up status. The other two season have been crap based on his worship quotient. We'll see by UF's record at the end of this year if he is anything special or just another overhyped competent coach.

 

[Bassmanbruno]

Exactly. Wins over Tennessee are the only reason Florida's program isn't viewed in the same light as Tennessee's over the last 10 years. Vols lost 34 games 99-07 and Florida lost 32. Meyer has had only one season at UF worthy of his pumped up status. The other two season have been crap based on his worship quotient. We'll see by UF's record at the end of this year if he is anything special or just another overhyped competent coach.

ok - don't go too overboard there buddy

 

[lawgator1]

You have a small penis.

haha. LG you have to respond to this.

Putting aside for the moment its actual size, I am trying to figure out what he was doing looking at it ....

 

[snake5040]

Dumbest thing probably I've ever seen. Wasted 30 seconds reading the first 10 lines.

Hey, I got the new SI in today, guess who is on the cover? it is your boy, Tebow, getting knocked out

 

[justingroves]

He absolutely has gotten away from that. I'm sure you'd know. We throw NO bubble screens like we did last year, we have changed the way the offense plays this year simply because Mullen is wanting Tebow to be Tom Brady or Peyton Manning. He simply is not either one of those two. He brings a whole different aspect of the game, mobility. We are telling Tebow to stay in the pocket and make your reads, in all actuality, that is simply not his strength. People are bringing the house and Mullen is only adjusting in the fourth quarter. Against the SEC, that is too late, I don't care who you are playing.

He just wants Tebow to get drafted.

 

[GoBigOrange86]

I guess this is what UT fans have sunk to for entertainment given that they are 1-3 and headed down the proverbial toilet. Say hey to FAU on the way down.

Please. Insulting UT now is lazy, asinine, and redundant. It takes no effort to kick someone while they're down.

Then again, considering your overrated team just blew a game against Ole Miss in the Swamp of all places, I guess this is the best you can do to try to make yourself feel better. "Well, UT SUCKS! So there!" Yeah. So do you.

Ta!