Imagine this scenario.
A private secret meeting in Curries office.
Purpose: To get opinions on Jones and a possible change.
Attendees: Currie, Dickey, Majors, Fulmer, Kiffin, & Dooley
Currie: Coaches, I really appreciate you all being here to discuss UT football. You've all coached here and some have even coached against UT as well. That's why I think you are uniquely qualified to give me some real straight, honest, feedback and feelings on the current coaching staff and, if a change is made, what type of direction we should go.
By the way, Coach Battle wanted to be here, but he's still not feeling 100% and jokingly said he didn't want to blind us with all of his Alabama bling...
So, as the elder statesman, Coach Majors, what do...
Majors: (while throwing a donut across the room at Fulmer)
I just have to say, Jon, your secretary told me on the phone that you just wanted my opinion, if I'd known that pig face was going to be here, I would not have come.
Fulmer: Well, thanks for the donut.
Majors: everybody knows you love em.
Fulmer: and, everybody knows you're a damn drunk, should I throw a bottle of bourbon 🥃 at you?
Kiffin: if we're making requests, I wouldn't mind a couple of blonde co-eds to come help me take notes.
Dooley: I just wonder if everyone here showered this morning and used very important proper shower discipline.
Dickey: seriously, guys. Jon wants our help. Can we not act like gentlemen for an hour. We all have places to be. I'm late for a combo Shaklee/Tupperware pyramid scheme meeting myself.
Currie: why don't we do this. Why don't we go around the room and everybody say if they think Butch Jones is the right guy to get this program back to competing for championships again.
Fulmer: well, as the only guy in here to get this program a national championship...I think that...
Majors: (under his breath) ...Only after you stole my job.
Fulmer: what was that? Could someone ask the old drunk if he was ordering another drink.
Majors: (rapid firing donuts at Fulmer) Here, you go, pig face...choke on some of these you fat fu......
Kiffin: this place is fun. Why'd I ever go back to USC.
Dooley: well, I was told it was because you had already gone thru the entire female student population in one year and that your wife was none too pleased. You know, If you read much about Rommel, you will....
Dickey: I'm a little embarrassed right now.
Majors: hmmmm. Are you more embarrassed now or after that time that you Coached UT against Florida in the Gator Bowl while you had already accepted the job to go to Florida and you threw that bowl game.
Dickey: I won't even dignify that....
Dooley: I have to say that...
Fulmer: honestly, with what the heck you did to this program, nobody cares what you have to say Precious.
Dooley: only my mommy Barbara calls me that, thank you.
Kiffin: you guys are seriously more f****d up than me, and that's saying something.
Currie: ok, let's take a little break to clear our heads. Coach Dickey, if you would please keep Coach Fulmer occupied while I watch Coach Majors, I think that would be best.
Everybody be back in 10 minutes.
Kiffin: (thinks to himself, 10 minutes? That's enuf time)
Hey sweetheart there, coffee girl, you are looking really beautiful this morning. Hey, I wonder if you could help me with something out in the coat room for a minute....
A private secret meeting in Curries office.
Purpose: To get opinions on Jones and a possible change.
Attendees: Currie, Dickey, Majors, Fulmer, Kiffin, & Dooley
Currie: Coaches, I really appreciate you all being here to discuss UT football. You've all coached here and some have even coached against UT as well. That's why I think you are uniquely qualified to give me some real straight, honest, feedback and feelings on the current coaching staff and, if a change is made, what type of direction we should go.
By the way, Coach Battle wanted to be here, but he's still not feeling 100% and jokingly said he didn't want to blind us with all of his Alabama bling...
So, as the elder statesman, Coach Majors, what do...
Majors: (while throwing a donut across the room at Fulmer)
I just have to say, Jon, your secretary told me on the phone that you just wanted my opinion, if I'd known that pig face was going to be here, I would not have come.
Fulmer: Well, thanks for the donut.
Majors: everybody knows you love em.
Fulmer: and, everybody knows you're a damn drunk, should I throw a bottle of bourbon 🥃 at you?
Kiffin: if we're making requests, I wouldn't mind a couple of blonde co-eds to come help me take notes.
Dooley: I just wonder if everyone here showered this morning and used very important proper shower discipline.
Dickey: seriously, guys. Jon wants our help. Can we not act like gentlemen for an hour. We all have places to be. I'm late for a combo Shaklee/Tupperware pyramid scheme meeting myself.
Currie: why don't we do this. Why don't we go around the room and everybody say if they think Butch Jones is the right guy to get this program back to competing for championships again.
Fulmer: well, as the only guy in here to get this program a national championship...I think that...
Majors: (under his breath) ...Only after you stole my job.
Fulmer: what was that? Could someone ask the old drunk if he was ordering another drink.
Majors: (rapid firing donuts at Fulmer) Here, you go, pig face...choke on some of these you fat fu......
Kiffin: this place is fun. Why'd I ever go back to USC.
Dooley: well, I was told it was because you had already gone thru the entire female student population in one year and that your wife was none too pleased. You know, If you read much about Rommel, you will....
Dickey: I'm a little embarrassed right now.
Majors: hmmmm. Are you more embarrassed now or after that time that you Coached UT against Florida in the Gator Bowl while you had already accepted the job to go to Florida and you threw that bowl game.
Dickey: I won't even dignify that....
Dooley: I have to say that...
Fulmer: honestly, with what the heck you did to this program, nobody cares what you have to say Precious.
Dooley: only my mommy Barbara calls me that, thank you.
Kiffin: you guys are seriously more f****d up than me, and that's saying something.
Currie: ok, let's take a little break to clear our heads. Coach Dickey, if you would please keep Coach Fulmer occupied while I watch Coach Majors, I think that would be best.
Everybody be back in 10 minutes.
Kiffin: (thinks to himself, 10 minutes? That's enuf time)
Hey sweetheart there, coffee girl, you are looking really beautiful this morning. Hey, I wonder if you could help me with something out in the coat room for a minute....
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