A marriage is work. It's a whole lot of work. It's blood, sweat, and tears.
See the difference here? me,me,me... what I feel. My happiness. If it doesn't make ME happy i walk away. It's about MY feelings. about MY happiness.
You know what the most tortuous, most infuriating, most life draining thing you can do to a man is? You want you know how to kill a man and suck the soul out of him. Sit around drinking tea talking about how he feels. Nobody cares. Nobody has cared what a man has "felt", or what a man's feelings are since the beginning. A man lives his life in servitude and charity to others. It's about what everyone else around him needs. In marriage, about what SHE feels. Because to a woman, that's all that matters. focussing on mental and emotional health.
Complete waste of energy and time to a man. It does not matter. There are jobs to be done, and to be productive you must compartmentalize what ever it is you feel and get them done. It's not about you, or your happiness.
Why? because a lifetime is a very, very long time. People change. in 10 years and that person you married and thought would never change WILL do a complete 180 on you. You won't recognize them anymore. Life changes. Parents die. Kids are born. Physical and metal issues arise. Money comes and goes. You don't recognize yourself in ten years. Now extend that over a lifetime. Who did you marry again? who knows. Who knows what the future holds. There will be unpleasantness. A lot of it. The job is to put yourself aside and commit.
when you get old and grey, and nobody wants you physically, and long after they gave up on your "feelings", you can look back before they put you in the dirt and say... "I lived a decent life."
Without my wife I would probably wind up drunk dead in a street gutter like Jack Kerouac. That's what my wife has done for me in return.
