Why did the chicken cross the road?

[la.lovesorange]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it
is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the
other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross
the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already
forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. How much more of this can
real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
your money, money the government took from you to
build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what
they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed, I've not been told!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the time, the heartwarming story of how
it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook- and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

JOHNNY COCHRAN
Because the road was black and the chicken was white.
We must acquit.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.

:lol:

 

[secrivals]

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook- and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

LOL, good one

 

[NCGatorBait]

:lol:

 

[insuragator]

Totally awesome

 

[U-T]

Love Reagans :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[MemphisVol]

Dick Cheney:

"Folks, sooner or later the chicken is going to cross the road in the real world, and, in the real world, it will inevitably die. What we need to concentrate on is not why chickens choose this totally unrealistic, romantic objective, but how we can exploit their death, when it comes, to our best advantage.

"The chicken will die. That is a given. As leaders of this Reich... I mean "Country"... we should be focusing on how we can spin the inevetible death of the chicken in a way consonant with our objectives.

Instead of asking why the chicken crossed the road, ask what the chicken was trying to escape- then supply the answer yourself (i.e., don't ask what it means that "The chicken was willing to risk death to escape the nightmare of a country which values profit above charity," instead ask if, "By trying to cross the road, doesn't that prove the chicken was a traitor which deserved what it got?)

Those who control what questions get asked control the answers you get.

"No, sir, this chicken never even thought of crossing the road, we just grow them exceptionally tender. We've got more stuffing if you're interested...?"