Ya hear the one about...........

[StripClubDJ]

I'd like to hear some......I haven't heard this in a while but here goes....

Three 'Bama kids are driving down a farm road and see a farmer in a field helping a cow give birth. They pull over, run up and start pulling along with the farmer. After twenty minutes go by, the calf finally drops and the tired farmer says "Thanks so much for the help, boys, would you like some dinner for you're troubles?" One kid looks over and says, "No thanks, but I would like to know how fast that damn cow was running to get stuck in the other cow's butt like that......"

:gun:

thank you, thank you....I'll be doing three shows nightly here at the best Strip Club in Knoxville....

 

[milohimself]

Hail to those cowering
Hail to the frost-bitten
Hail hail to Michigan
The cest pool of the north

Not much of a joke... But it's how we sing The Victors around here.

 

[StripClubDJ]

Two boys are playing football when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Vols Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal, " he writes in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Vols fan, " the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we are in Tennessee, I just assumed you were, " says the reporter.

"Little Vandy Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack, " he writes in his notebook.

"I'm not a Vandy fan either, " the boy says.

"I assumed everyone in Tennessee was either for the Vols or Vandy. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.

"I'm a Georgia fan, " the child says.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

:rocks:

 

[#10_Ainge_#10]

What does the average Bama or Florida(insert most hated team here)get on his SAT?


DROOL!!!!

haha...I've always kind of liked that one

 

[volinbham]

What does the moon and the UT Vols football team have in common?


They both control the Tide.


Go Vols

 

[StripClubDJ]

Q: Four Gamecocks are in a car, the quarterback, a defensive lineman and two wide recievers. Who's driving?
A: .............................................The police

 

[StripClubDJ]

This kid wanted to play college football but no scholarships were offered to him. He decided to walk-on somewhere. "What better place to play football than at Notre Dame", the lad thought. He went to South Bend and walked in to the football office and said, "I want to play football for Notre Dame." "Are you a Catholic", the coach asked. "No, sir", the young man said. "Son", the coach said understandingly, "you have to be Catholic to play football at Notre Dame." Undaunted, the young man went down to North Carolina and walked in to the football office at Duke and said, "I want to play football for Duke." "Great!", the Blue Devil coach said. "Just one thing though, are you a Baptist?" "No, sir", the young recruit answered again. "Son,", the coach said disappointingly, "you have to be a Baptist to play football at Duke." Disappointed, the young man headed over to Texas to try one more time. He walked in to the football office at SMU and declared, "I want to play football for the Mustangs!" "Sure thing, young man", the coach said eagerly. "You are a Methodist, right?" he inquired. "Well, no sir, I'm not", the disappointed recruit said. "I'm sorry, son, you have to be a Methodist to play football at SMU". Quite frustrated, the young man replied, "Well, I'll be a Son-of-a-Bit**!". The coach looked at the lad wide-eyed and said, "If you can prove that, I can get you in at Florida!!"

epper:

 

[StripClubDJ]

Why did the Florida linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

 

[OldVol]

Phil Fulmer and Mike Hamilton were traveling to a coach's conference by train, and who do they bump into but Tommy Gallion and Logan Young. Phil and Mike purchase their tickets and notice that Gallion and Young buy only one ticket. Phil says, "Hey, how are y'all gonna travel on just one ticket." Old slick Tommy says,
"Just watch and learn, watch and learn."

They board and Phil and Mike watch Gallion and Young cram their fat, balding, smelly, sweaty, disgusting carcasses into one tiny little bathroom. The conductor comes by, knocks on the door and says, "Tickets please." One grubby, hairy little hand reaches out with a single ticket, the conductor goes on his way and the two vermin exit the bathroom and continue their trip.

Well, on the return trip, Mike and Phil decide they will NOT be out done by this pair.

As they purchase their return tickets, Gallion and Young note that Phil and Mike buy no ticket at all. The greasy Young looks to Phil and says, "Isn't it a little dangerous to travel on the train with no tickets at all?" Phil says, "Watch and learn sleaze ball, watch and learn."

The 4 of them board. Young and Gallion pry themselves into a bathroom and Mike and Phil do the same. In just a few seconds, Phil exits the bathroom, knocks on the bathroom door where Gallion and Young are packed into and says, "Tickets Please."