Z’s Pub Thread Of The Week: Favorite Vacation Story

[zjcvols]

I think this is gonna be a good one. It doesn’t even have to be a vacation, just a trip story. Here’s mine.

I’m 19 years old. I had some extra money and Wal-Mart removed my shift accidentally for the week so I decided to go to a Braves/Marlins game at Turner Field on a Tuesday. My brother JT had never been to Atlanta so he joined me. The plan was watch the game and drive pack same night. Problem? Way more rain than expected. They got about four innings in and it was postponed. We waited till 10, but the game was still postponed. We decided to leave. We hit Steak and Shake and drove our way back to East Tennessee.

For some reason (this was in 2012 BTW) our GPS takes us off the highway and we end up going in a small town near Chattanooga. The speed limit was normally 50 (and I saw that sign) but apparently some work was being done in the area earlier and it was 35, which I didn’t see. And at 19, for the first time in my life as a driver, I saw a cop with his lights off behind me at around 1:am

The cop pulls me over and he’s your classic southern trooper. (I am also nervous because my dad let me borrow his car for the trip instead of my bucket). He comes over, I show ID and insurance, asks where we are going. I tell him, he asks about the Braves game, etc. He looks over at JT and I tell him thats my brother. He asks for his ID too. For reasons to this day I still don’t know, JT doesn’t have any. Officer chuckles, says no big deal, we look alike, and he believes us.

He informs we were going 15 over that normally it’s 50 out this area has been designated 35 because of some work. Anyways he says “hey you’re not from the area, no big deal, just letting ya know” and then my brother, who once again for reasons unbeknownst to me, shoots up “Well the GPS says it’s 50” and I swear I gave him the dirtiest look I have ever given anyone. The officer looks at us, gets all serious, and deadpans “Well, I wasn’t even checking ya for speeding to be honest, I was making sure you didn’t have any dead bodies in the back.” I freeze and think “oh god I’m gonna be taken the station.” Then about 3 seconds pass and he dies laughing. Tells us to just slow down, likes my brothers moxy, and lets us go. We got back fine and I then threatened my brothers life if he ever did that again lol

 

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

I was in the Air Force from 88-91. It was the winter of either 89 or 90, cant remember for certain. Anyway, I was planning to drive from Fort Worth where i was stationed, back to Nashville over a long weekend , maybe Presidents Day. Anyway, it started snowing. Like an idiot I decided to go ahead and go ahead with my plans. I made it through Dallas all right. I tried to pass a semi on the long bridge that goes across Lake Ray Hubbard. When I did I, I hit a patch of ice and slid up under the rear tires. It tore up the front fender, but everything else was ok. So I got off on the next exit, which was a while because that bridge is big. I found a motel and went to check in. The Asian clerk said to me "We get big snowstorm and cause you to crash car and bring me business. Is American way yes?" I wanted to smack him!

 

[joevol33]

I have had some good adventures that maybe I can share, but I have to say 4 years ago at Panama City Beach is my favorite. Nothing crazy really happened, but my parents went with us, and I had them and all 3 of my girls together. It very well may be the last vacation that I have all of them together because of my parents age, and my oldest being gone to the Air Force now. It was my parents only time to Florida also, and my dad was like a little kid fishing, we caught a ton of fish.

 

[Notorious B.E.N]

About 25 years ago my family and my aunt and cousins and my grandparents went to Disney World. We were in line inside Space Mountain and we were in a big group all by ourselves, for some reason there wasn't anybody in line behind us. Well we're standing there waiting and out of nowhere this girl showed up in our group right beside my cousin who was about 13 at the time, he saw her and screamed, we had no idea where she came from. The guy working the ride tried to put her on the car with us but we kept saying we didn't know her, finally he pulled her aside for the next group. My cousin looked like he'd seen a ghost and my grandmother thought that was the funniest thing she'd ever seen. She loved that story so much that it was told at my grandma's funeral in February.

 

[RDU VOL#14]

When I was 11 or 12 my dad had a company work meeting in NYC and my parents turned it in to a long weekend . The setup was incredible, world
famous hotel on the company. room service, transportation, the speakers at my dad’s conference were supposed to be great ,absolute first class all the way. The thing that I was most interested in was the fact that the keynote speaker was Bill Walsh and I figured he was staying at the hotel. I was determined to meet him. I loved Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, everything Niners when I was a kid. Bill Walsh was my favorite coach. I found out that he had given his talk and was bummed because I wanted to possibly get his autograph or a picture, but I figured he was going back to where he lived. Walking back after sight seeing late one afternoon with my mom we go the wrong way and we’re looking at a map trying to figure where we are going. Someone asks, if we need directions, this is NYC mind you. My mom responds to the man that we’re ok , me still looking at the map finally look up.

IT’S BILL WALSH. My eyes are bigger than saucers. I go “Holy Crap you’re Bill Walsh!” My Mom doesn’t really know who Bill Walsh is, but knows he’s famous and she doesn’t like me saying that, especially to an adult.
He laughs and says, “Yes I am, and you look lost.”
Star struck, I instantly ask for an autograph and my mom apologizes to him and tells me I shouldn’t bother the nice man, he laughs, he tells us how to get back to the hotel and says have a good evening.

I saw a lot of great things on that trip, but that part always stuck out to me. Bill Walsh was an incredible coach and apparently an even nicer guy.

 

[pismonque]

I think this is gonna be a good one. It doesn’t even have to be a vacation, just a trip story. Here’s mine.

I’m 19 years old. I had some extra money and Wal-Mart removed my shift accidentally for the week so I decided to go to a Braves/Marlins game at Turner Field on a Tuesday. My brother JT had never been to Atlanta so he joined me. The plan was watch the game and drive pack same night. Problem? Way more rain than expected. They got about four innings in and it was postponed. We waited till 10, but the game was still postponed. We decided to leave. We hit Steak and Shake and drove our way back to East Tennessee.

For some reason (this was in 2012 BTW) our GPS takes us off the highway and we end up going in a small town near Chattanooga. The speed limit was normally 50 (and I saw that sign) but apparently some work was being done in the area earlier and it was 35, which I didn’t see. And at 19, for the first time in my life as a driver, I saw a cop with his lights off behind me at around 1:am

The cop pulls me over and he’s your classic southern trooper. (I am also nervous because my dad let me borrow his car for the trip instead of my bucket). He comes over, I show ID and insurance, asks where we are going. I tell him, he asks about the Braves game, etc. He looks over at JT and I tell him thats my brother. He asks for his ID too. For reasons to this day I still don’t know, JT doesn’t have any. Officer chuckles, says no big deal, we look alike, and he believes us.

He informs we were going 15 over that normally it’s 50 out this area has been designated 35 because of some work. Anyways he says “hey you’re not from the area, no big deal, just letting ya know” and then my brother, who once again for reasons unbeknownst to me, shoots up “Well the GPS says it’s 50” and I swear I gave him the dirtiest look I have ever given anyone. The officer looks at us, gets all serious, and deadpans “Well, I wasn’t even checking ya for speeding to be honest, I was making sure you didn’t have any dead bodies in the back.” I freeze and think “oh god I’m gonna be taken the station.” Then about 3 seconds pass and he dies laughing. Tells us to just slow down, likes my brothers moxy, and lets us go. We got back fine and I then threatened my brothers life if he ever did that again lol

My goofy cop story:

Back in probably late 80s, early 90s a bunch of us went down on a Sunday from Knoxville to Reliance to float the Hiwassee on inner tubes. Took a bit longer than expected and next thing you know I gotta haul ass to get back for an evening shift.

Don’t even remember which road I was on, probably 411, but I’m burning it up with probably five of us in my little car and we get to a classic speed trap: 4-lane divided highway, straight as an arrow, with a 35 mph speed limit.

When the cop clocked me I was doing about 80 and I knew he had me dead to rights. He ran me down and pulled me over and came strutting up to my car looking like the stereotypical southern lawman, a slightly younger version of Buford T. Justice.

He leaned on my window sill and lit me up loudly for what seemed like 10 minutes, ranting about you kids today and how my radar detector don’t work no more with what new gadgets they got and the dangers of high speed driving amongst the gentler working folk and their families. He seemed genuinely tickled to have nailed such an egregious speeder.

Then he just suddenly paused and was oddly silent for a few moments, and then said, “I don’t know why I’m gonna do this, because it’s not something I usually do, but I’m gonna let you go with a warning.” Then he told me to slow it down and be safe and walked back to his car. I was stunned and thankful, and just puttered my way back to Knoxville and was happily late for work.

I thought and thought about his weird and surprising change of heart and wondered why he did it. I still don’t know, but the only thing I ever came up with to attribute it to was this: while he was standing there with his hands on my door tearing through his rant, my left arm was just slightly below his, and I noticed our wristwatches just about three or four inches away from each other. They were both Mickey Mouse watches.

I’ve got nothing better to go with, so I’ve always just thanked Walt Disney for getting me out of that one jam.

 

[Dudleys87]

having to walk 3 blocks up and 4 blocks over because you filled your cooler with the wrong beer.

 

[LouderVol]

I was in Italy with my sisters and we were hitting up one of the beaches. We are the only Americans there and we dont speak the language. The whole time I am watching some locals jump off a cliff into the water.

Figuring I was never going to be in Italy again and seeing as how I had never jumped off a cliff I thought why not. So after all the kids left I climbed up the cliff face and got to the spot. There was a little deep circle in the water surrounded by higher reefs. So I know what I am aiming for. Before I could think my way out of it I jumped. I was thinking so much about where to land I didnt think of how to do it.

Hit the target but busted up one of my ankles cause I went down like a pencil. Spent a week and half afterwards limping around Europe. Never went and had it checked. Would do it again. My sisters got on to me for it. But when in(outside) Rome, right?

 

[LouderVol]

On the same trip as above we stayed in Munich and went to the Brauhaus for dinner. When we think of German restaurants this is the place, stereotypical as all get out. You grab seats on long tables and sit with whoever.

We joined a very typical German family who didnt speak much English and our German was just as rough. I am drinking a dunkel in the big steins and impress the dad that I finish it. I was just planning on one but the dad orders one for both us when one of their songs starts getting played. I dont know if it was this one special song, or if all songs are like this, but at the end everyone starts chugging their beer. I am facing down a full stein of a dark beer.(that's what dunkel means, dark).

I drain mine before the dad does. I have a big stupid, lightly intoxicated, smile on my face. And that dad starts congratulating me, and trying to order me another. But my sisters were already asking for the check to go. The dad.grabs it and pays for our meal. I didnt speak much German but I spoke drinking and that was enough for him.

Great time.

 

[n_huffhines]

In April when I was flying back from the Philippines I was watching the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry is late for something important because he doesn't know how to tell a blind stranger "no" and helps him move...

Not even 2 hours later I land in LAX and a blind stranger asks me to help him get to our gate, and we are in a time crunch. We had to switch terminals, navigate confusing directions, go thru security, and get on a shuttle from one gate to another. He was so slow and I was thinking "there is no way we are making this". But there was no wait at security or for the shuttle, so we made it with time to spare. If I had been on my own and security was backed up, I probably miss the flight.

I love this story because it's a hell of a coincidence and the moral is "be like Larry".

 

[Tin Man]

In 1980, I was driving up California Rte 1 just after dawn. I come across a guy with a full trap set up on an overlook turnout. I park my truck, get my soprano sax out of its case, walk up to him and start playing. We jam for ~15 minutes. I stop. He stops. I tell him that I'm on a road trip from East Tennessee. He tells me that he lives nearby and likes to set up and play for the birds on a rocky islet just offshore. They never complain. We wish each other well. He goes back to playing his drums. I get in my truck and continue northward. Just south of Monterrey, within view of the bay, I pull over at a seaside diner and grab a seat at the counter. The cook asks me what I'll have. I order hash browns and two eggs. He asks me how I'd like 'em. I ask if he'll poach 'em for me. He says OK. A few minutes later, he serves me hash browns with two perfectly poached eggs, French style. Breakfast is awesome. I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore...

 

[Zues1]

2011, myself and three buddies (Tennessee, Georgia, Florida , South Carolina) on a coast to coast and back Motorcycle ride.
We left Long Beach and headed to Joshua Tree, after the stop at JT we're headed to Prescott, Az. Through the desert , in June, it's a 197 degrees, loaded down with three weeks of stuff. It's a hot MFer. We're on a two lane US highway, maybe hwy 62. Our trip was to never get on the interstate if there were other options. There's basically no one but us on this stretch of road.

As you can imagine it was quite flat with the occasional rolling section, as we topped a rise in the road there's the guy with a yellow vest and the slow sign. I'm the last rider and I just assumed there was road construction. Wrong assumption.

Just ahead are two officers standing in the road, just off to the right and up the hill a piece is one of those big pop up awnings you use for picnics etc. 5 or 6 more officers are gathered. One of those guys comes jogging down to the others. Oh crap!

We are motioned to stop, Jim our lead rider is talking with the officers, the rest of us sitting patiently with motors running so I cannot hear the conversation but I quickly recognized these chaps are border patrol.
Now we're a long damn way from the border but here they are. I'm sitting there melting thinking we're going to have to unbuckle everything we have so this guys can do a contraband search.

After about 3-4 mins they motioned us through, as I pass by I could see these agents smiling and chuckling.

30 mins up the highway we found an old run down RV park. Not a tree in site just these 8-10 aluminum sleeping boxes ( campers) melting in the desert sun along with a tiny store.
We stopped, I asked Jim what did they say? They asked if we had any contraband, were we American citizens where are you going and where are you from.

I can only imagine what went through those guys heads when they realized four southern rednecks riding motorcycles in the desert in June in 197 degree heat.
No wonder they were smiling when we road by.

 

[superdave1984]

I was a kid, no idea how old, but not over 7 or 8 I am sure. It was the early to mid 70's. My dad sold insurance and he had a convention in Dallas. Me and my sister (3 years older than me) were just turned loose in the convention center. Dad was doing whatever and mom was nowhere to be found either. Anyway as I wandered around the place I heard a band playing so I followed the sound and got to see Wild Cherry play for a few minutes. This was pre play that funky music. There is no reason my sister and I survived our childhood other than by the grace of God.

 

[n_huffhines]

I was a kid, no idea how old, but not over 7 or 8 I am sure. It was the early to mid 70's. My dad sold insurance and he had a convention in Dallas. Me and my sister (3 years older than me) were just turned loose in the convention center. Dad was doing whatever and mom was nowhere to be found either. Anyway as I wandered around the place I heard a band playing so I followed the sound and got to see Wild Cherry play for a few minutes. This was pre play that funky music. There is no reason my sister and I survived our childhood other than by the grace of God.

My Mom was a lobbyist for Eagle forum and I went on a trip with her to DC. I was 11 and toured DC all by myself while she was doing her business. I had lived in the area a couple years prior so I was familiar with DC, but it's still insane that I rode the subway and went to the museums all day on my own.

 

[McDad]

Took the family to Fort Walton Beach a couple of years ago. The 5 of us, our dog, and my youngest son's friend. Go the beach, spend a week. Great time had by all. The traffic up 65 on our way back home was brutal. I later learned it is like that most of the summer as people travel home on Saturday. We hit some rest stop off the interstate. We all go do our business while my 18 year old daughter walks the dog. Im first out of the restroom, and I take over dog duties. After a few minutes, everyone begins gathering around the car. I hop in with the dog. And we are off. I drive past the sidewalk leading to the bathroom and there is my oldest daughter watching me try to speed away with the most appalled expression on her face. I tried to leave my daughter at a rest stop. I do not think she has completely forgiven me to this day.

My family still teases me about it.

 

[LouderVol]

High school trip to Guatemala. We were in a smaller town and 4 of us were walking around after dark. We decided we would play the "penis" game. Taking turns shouting it louder and louder. We were in a public space with lots of noise and other shouting going on and we weren't speaking the language so we figured no one would care. Eventually some locals we knew came over to ask what we were doing.

We told them and they joined in, it started in English, but changed to Spanish. We were walking the streets at this point still yelling out and laughing. When a female up in a house yelled out the Spanish slang for lady parts, and told us to shove off in colorful Spanish. We died laughing and went home at that point.