Guitar Shots to The Head: Death at a Funeral

This was supposed to be a grand coming out party.  Before the UCLA game the Vols were getting all the right coverage.  It was to be an evening with the Tennessee Vols.  They seemingly had ESPN, a national television audience, and a UCLA offense with the pedigree of some of their best fraternity flag football all to themselves.  It was quite clear, even to the pundits that the Vols were in Pasedena to bury the Bruins.  With apologies to the British film (a good film at that) after days of chatting and reflecting, it seems that the Vols have just experienced a death at a funeral.

Does the tone sound a little dramatic?  After all the Vols were starting a new QB and a new offensive coordinator.  If you disagree with my assessment may I take the time to offer you no apology whatsoever?  This was not just another loss on national television.  This was not just another season opening loss on the Left Coast.  This was not just another overtime loss where the Vols scratched and clawed (no pun intended) for their lives in four quarters of football.   This was an embarrassment to the Big Orange Nation.

From reading the papers and the boards, I am not the only person that feels this way.  It wasn’t simply the blocked punt, the botched offensive plays, or THE fumble that gives way to my theory.  Last I looked this offense doesn’t have a giant receiver, nor do they have a midget (a little person to be PC) suiting up to catch footballs.  Of course, you wouldn’t know that by watching Jon Crompton throw the ball.  If he wasn’t short hopping his passes he was trying to throw the ball to San Francisco.

On the other side of the ball it was the same old story.  It was much less about the athletes and much more about the scheme.  When you have an all star secondary I say use them.  I did not see one UCLA receiver that was even capable of running by either of our corners in press coverage.  If they did happen to get behind the coverage Berry and Morley had more than enough speed to catch up with whatever Craft could throw down the field.

This was a marquee matchup in which the Vols had a significant talent edge.  The disparity was so great that even the pundits were making excuses for UCLA before the game.  When you consider the schedule that lies ahead, there are few “headline” games left on the Tennessee schedule that offered such an opportunity for this football team to make a splash.  Even the most disillusioned Volunteer football fan recognized the opportunity for the Vols to showcase what they would bring to the table in 2008.

Instead, the Volunteers were buried.

The theories abound about what put the Vols six feet under.  Some say Crompton didn’t get enough snaps last year, while others blame the unwillingness of Dave Clawson to run the football.  Many blame Chavis’ stubborn streak and his reliance on the “mustang sally package”.  Britton Colquitt should also be implicated in the blame game, after all he has been known to get punts off in .09 seconds (or is that just his BAC?).  Some are even tempted to blame Arian Foster for yet another fumble in the clutch.

However, anyone who has paid attention over the last few years should not be all that surprised.

Don’t get me wrong, I too buried several doubts about this team in the off season.  I hoped Clawson would make a difference.  I wanted Crompton to succeed.  I wanted our defensive line to look much improved.

It turns out that the joke is not reserved for the Cromptonites, the Fulmerites or the Negavols.  The joke is on all of us.  You see, we have now gone way beyond fans on a message board digging at one another.  We are no longer simply the butt of each other’s wrangling and posturing.  Now our program is the new joke for the college football world.

Like it or not the Big Orange Nation has become the monkey cage at the zoo, and everyone is getting a big laugh at our expense.  The responsibility of this Keystone Cop impersonation falls on the shoulders of one man, and we all know who that is.

If this team does not come back from the dead, I have a feeling that accountability will finally reign in Knoxville.