Making Sense of All the Hate

If Court TV has taught us anything, it is that a deviant’s crime is often symptomatic of a larger problem. The actual crime is merely a manifestation of a deeper-rooted problem. So when the storm of controversy and uproar surrounding Lane Kiffin avalanched across the sports landscape, I wondered if the outrage was a true response to the crime or if it was emblematic of a concealed issue. Unless minor recruiting violations and smoke machines are significantly more offensive than I presumed, it is safe to assume that the yelling and gnashing of teeth regarded a larger problem.

But what problem could cause the greatest mouth-breather revolt since McDonald’s pulled the McRib from the permanent menu? What was the true reasoning that motivated agenda-driven media types like Paul Finebaum to slither into their human suits so that they could take turns lambasting the new coach? Below, I offer 4 possibilities that could be the underlying reasons behind the widespread scrutiny of Lane Kiffin.

Too Legit to Quit

There is a tendency for people to dislike overachievers. Say what you want about Kiffin, but the facts remain: He is 33 and not only is he the head coach of a top 25 program (I’m ball parking, ok?), but he has also been an NFL head coach, which is something only a handful of people IN THE WORLD can claim.

Was his tenure a dynastic one in Oakland? No. But Pete Carroll didn’t really pan out with the Patriots, Butch Davis was mediocre with the Browns, and Steve Spurrier…yikes. The point is ridiculing someone for being a bad head coach is like talking trash to a guy because the swimsuit model he dates wasn’t on the cover of SI. He still ran in the same circles as Bill Parcels, Bill Belicheck, and Tony Dungy while you were kicking it at Subway with your boys over $5 Footlongs.

And I know that crazy Al Davis hired him, but he still owns an NFL team, which again, not a lot of people can say. Understand this: If Davis was crazy to the point of being detrimental to the league, Roger Goodell would have him dispatched to a nursing home in Poughkeepsie so fast that he would be there in time for arts and crafts. And if you don’t believe that, I guess we just can’t be friends.

Regardless, the guy is 33 and shuttling between the top layers of his profession. Should we really split hairs on this? I don’t know about you, and although I am several years away from 33, I am fairly certain that I won’t be ascending to the top of a Fortune 500 company anytime soon. Add to that, his birthright of coaching pedigree from father Monte and a wife that is appealing to the eye and you have a guy who seems imminently more awesome than you are or could ever hope to be.

Does it come off as though he was born with a silver whistle in his mouth? Possibly, but check the track record and guys like Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart, Troy Polamalu, and LenDale White suggest that he may have somewhat of a clue as to this whole recruiting and coaching thing.

Isn’t there some part of us that hates younger people who are more successful than we are? Their presence forces us to confront our own professional inadequacies so subconsciously we loathe them and cross our fingers for their failure as if that failure will vanquish us from the reality of our own inability to maximize our potential. Basically, maybe Kiffin’s awesomeness makes people like Finebaum feel bad about their own schlubbiness.

Simple, Fundamental Hatred

I have a sneaking suspicion that if the Messiah himself descended upon the world cloaked in the colors of a rival SEC school, there would be a good many, otherwise God-fearing, people who would momentarily hesitate in accepting said Messiah’s peace, love, and redemption. Our respective allegiances are part of our identities and so it is largely impossible to discuss any issues without our rooting interests coloring the conversation.

With football as such a cornerstone of the South, there’s a generational hate passed on and ingrained in most fans that discourages civil, rational, or logical discussions or observations about competing teams.

Will there ever be a day when one man is able to unite all Alabama and Auburn fans under a brokered peace? Can anyone foresee a situation where all Georgia fans and Florida fans gather for a friendly and civil cocktail party in Jacksonville?

If Nick Saban left Alabama today for even a non-threatening job like Kentucky, I would wager that Alabama fans would instantly flip their internal switch from love to hate. And that is true of the majority of SEC fans regardless of what team they cheer for.

Regional Xenophobia

Quite plainly, we southern folk are a little skeptical of the city-slicker California types. Call it ignorance or call it a disparity in perception. Southerners stereotype (American) Westerners as convertible-driving surfers while Westerners see us as shoeless, inbred hillbillies. It’s our cross to bear.

Coaches like Urban Meyer and Nick Saban have escaped this regional discrimination, as they were veterans of several programs by the time they landed in the SEC. But Kiffin’s identity is very much tied to California in both the USC and Oakland jobs he held, so his persona has not been allowed to be blurred across several different regions. He is ardently cast as a California-type who, no doubt, juggles sushi while doing yoga.

This broad generalization has been the validation behind some of the arguments southern fans and analysts have made recently. Whether the criticism has been over the disconnect he has with the South’s football culture or his lack of manners when discussing his elder and more accomplished contemporaries, Kiffin’s inexperience with the region has been a red herring of criticism.

I have no doubt that if a native son like David Pollack returned to UGA as a coach and called out other SEC teams and/or coaches, he would be called “intense” or “spirited.” But as an outsider, Kiffin draws comments describing him as “knuckleheaded” (quoting Gene Wojciechowski), “boy blunder,” or even “buffoon” (quoting Finebaum).

Righting the Ship

For those familiar with The Sopranos, there is a brilliant episode (Cold Cuts Season 5, Episode 62) where Tony’s n’er do well sister, Janice, begins turning over a new leaf after attending anger management. She learns to embrace her circumstances and deal with problems calmly instead of lashing out in violent anger. Tony observed this transformation and though he should have been happy for his sister, there was a part of him that hated what was happening. Her change was a shift in status quo and it would invariably force Tony to question his own shortcomings as things that could be addressed and improved. So instead of supporting Janice’s self-improvement, Tony antagonizes her repeatedly over a family dinner until she snaps and tries stabbing him with a fork. As the meltdown escalates, Tony is seen smiling as he walks away contented in the destruction of his sister’s progress.

I think SEC fans / teams are reacting much in the same way. Fans and coaches of other teams love to see Tennessee football spiraling into irrelevancy and their outrage at Kiffin’s largely innocuous comments are most likely in response to the programs productive movements. If they can discourage the program’s growth by repeating the anti – Kiffin mantra, they will do so ad nauseum until the notion becomes almost factual.

Lane Kiffin represents a transformation for the Tennessee program and regardless of whether you believe that he will be “the one” to lead the Vols out of mediocrity, he is a step in the right direction away from the status quo of the last several years.

Kiffin has initiated a movement towards discipline, accountability, and expectations and though it is yet to be seen whether this approach will translate to success on the field, it stands in marked contrast to the previous coaching staff’s approach.

It is entirely possible that the backlash towards Kiffin’s comments was more of a frustration the change in the conference landscape and a yearning for days past when Phil Fulmer and his staff seemed as visionary as the producers behind Bromance or The Hills.