The Big Dose of Reality Combo

WARNING: What you are about to read could have happened to any Vol fan:

So Thursday morning came the other day. It was 6:30 AM and I’m feeling pretty good. Tennessee has that early kickoff with Ole Miss coming up Saturday. What to write about today, hmm. Well the Vols are looking to win out. They are definitely one of the hot teams in the country right now. And I’m hungry.

I’m thinking lets just run down to Mickey’s for breakfast. You know they’re going to be like “Welcome to Mickeys, would you like to try our Three Four Stars Just Committed Breakfast Combo?” I thought to myself.

“Oh no no, I’m not THAT hungry” I’ll say almost apologetically, but with a bit of a laugh.

Pulling up to the drive-thru I peruse the menu board, but let’s not kid ourselves. I know what I want already.

Strangely there is no voice initiating my order. “Umm excuse me hello?” Hearing some garbled static, I respond,

“Yeah give me the uh”, I give the board a quick once over just to be sure, “give me the Nine Win Season Biscuit with a Outback Bowl to drink please.”

Would you like to upsize that sir? The not so pleasant voice on the other end tempted.

“Sure, why not, make it a Capital One Bowl drink then.” I’m thinking, “That’s too much” as I drive around to the window. Wow, no cars ahead of me, that’s a first.

There was a weird eerie quality to things all of a sudden. That drive-thru girl’s voice was weird. And where are the cars. Suddenly I’m aware of the radio and why is the Sports Animal on at 6:30 in the morning? And why is Griff using words like ‘Unbelievable’? Picking up my cell phone I’m shocked to see that it says 10:01AM. “What the heck is going on?”

At the same moment the drive thru window opens. “I’m sorry sir; we’re all out of Nine Win Seasons. That was a promotional offer and we will be offering it again next year.”

I couldn’t really see her, it’s was foggy like and dark, or maybe I was distracted by something on the radio about robbery, players, the Pilot on the strip.

“Listen, I want to speak to the manager right . . . .”

I woke up in a cold sweat, my wife placing a cold cloth on my forehead. “Are you ok?” she asks obviously worried.

“I just had the most bizarre dream. It was so real.” I say in my sincerest voice.

“Well can I get you anything?”

“No, im fine, thanks, everything’s ok now. I tell you what though; I will never treat Tennessee football like something you order up at a drive-thru.”

“What?” With confusion in her voice.

“Oh never mind I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.”

Ok, well get some sleep. It’s 2AM and you know you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

The Morale: The only thing that should surprise us is that there are still some things that can surprise us.