SEC Media Days: the best quotes of day one

Here’s a recap of yesterday’s memorable quotes from SEC Media Days 2011. Derek Dooley and Tennessee players are slated to speak later today.

AWKWARD OPENING: BOBBY PETRINO

There’s nothing quite like opening SEC Media Days by telling everyone you’d rather elsewhere, then promptly wishing your wife a happy anniversary. That’s probably not how the 750+ media members in Birmingham expected the day to kick off.

“It’s good to be here in Birmingham again for Media Days. I always wonder when I say that how to keep a straight face, but more so this year really because today is actually my anniversary. So the first thing I have to do is wish my wife Becky a happy anniversary. It’s our 26th anniversary.”

Happy Anniversary Coach Petrino!

WHAT IS MY FORMER QUARTERBACK THINKING?

Former Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallet went on the Gruden Show and gave away some of the Razorback’s hand signals. Doh!

“Yeah, they’re changed. We already changed them. I wasn’t real happy with him, by the way, when I was informed that he did that. He called me up and apologized. He gave us a few ideas for some new hand signals, so that always helps (smiling).”

FAST-TALKER AWARD

Just as Seinfeld introduced us to the low-talker, SEC Media Days 2011 brought us the fast-talker. Whether he was pumped up, nervous, or he just wanted to get his opening statements out of the way quickly, Will Muschamp reeled off word after word with world-class speed. Maybe it was a strategic move by the first-year head coach to talk faster than anyone could understand in an effort to dodge difficult questions. Or something.

I THINK I’M SURE, PROBABLY

According to Will Muschamp, Florida running back Jeff Demps is currently running with the U.S. National Track Team in Italy. The two scheduled to meet face-to-face next week and Muschamp expects Demps to join the team sometime in August.

When pressed on the issue with a follow up question, however, Muschamp quickly dismissed internet rumors and message boards, which, unless I’m missing something, leads one to believe that specuatlion must be running rampant in Gainesville about Demps’ future.

“Based on our conversations, he’ll be back. I don’t deal in rumors or message boards. I don’t know any good ball coaches that do that.”

UPDATE: Apparently Demps is considering a professional track career.

SHORT AND SNARKY

I’m not sure where the media member who asked this question thought it might lead.

Q. How does it feel being a Georgia guy coaching at the University of Florida?

COACH MUSCHAMP: I’m a Florida guy.

ARE YOU LISTENING TENNESSEE AD SEARCH COMMITTEE?

Will Muschamp had a pretty good situation at Texas with a big salary and a fancy coach-in-waiting title. He wasn’t going to leave for just any job and he wasn’t going to work for just any athletics director.

“But when Jeremy Foley calls from the University of Florida, you listen.”

There’s a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

NOBODY IS BUYING IT

I admit that I’ve never been to Starkville, but the things I’ve heard about the place haven’t been very complimentary. After listening to Dan Mullen sell the area, however, I’m convinced hat Starkville may be one of the best college towns in the country.

“It’s a hidden gem. Everybody that comes to visit us, that’s the challenge we’ve had. Once they come on campus, whether it be recruits, parents, even fans, they say, Wow, I didn’t know what a beautiful place this is, what a great place to live, what a great community Starkville, Mississippi is.”

Nah.

SHOT ACROSS THE BOW

In typical Spurrier-esque fashion, this one came out of nowhere.

“I saw Dan Mullen. Mississippi State has a jet airplane out there. We pulled our little KingAir up next to it. They’ve got a lot of money at Mississippi State. Everybody’s got a lot of money, I guess.”

RETURN FIRE

When asked to respond to Steve Spurrier’s comment about the jet airplane, Dan Mullen said:

“But I’ve never played Augusta National, so I can’t be on his level (smiling). He’s probably a member there; we just don’t know.”

MOONLIGHTING ON THE WELCOME WAGON

While crossing into Mississippi from Baton Rouge, one media member noticed a billboard with Dan Mullen’s face on it that said, “Welcome to our state”.

Mullen’s response?

Did you enjoy your time there (smiling)?

SPURRIER ON RECRUITING

Can anyone spot a common theme?

  • “One thing that gives us hope is we’ve done a very good job of recruiting our in-state top players.”
  • “Again, the reason we have hope is that we’ve been able to recruit the best players in our state.”
  • “What gives us hope, again, like I said, we got the No. 1 recruit in the nation, Jadeveon Clowney.”
  • “When you got some guys that can really play, that gives you a chance.”

SPURRIER GONNA BE SPURRIER

It’s never too early for Spurrier to start criticising his quarterback.

  • “I guess we don’t want to kick him out for stupidity (laughter). And there’s some reasons that he’s probably done some things.”
  • “Well, again, he’s not done anything to be arrested, thrown in jail, DUIs, things like that. He’s just done some stupid things.”

HE’S BACK?

Last year, Steve Spurrier wasn’t quite himself. Some say he hadn’t lived up to expectations at South Carolina and the pressure to win was starting to mount. But after a division title and an appearance in the SEC Championship game, the ol’ ball coach seems to be regaining just a little bit of his old form.

“Health-wise, I feel about like I did 10 years ago or so. And we’ve got the best players since I’ve been there. Our program really I believe is heading in the right direction. If it was going bad, we were getting beat, I’d be gone.”

Spurrier admits the talking and winning go hand-in-hand.

“Well, again, most coaches, if they win a lot, win a lot of championships, they do talk a little bit more. You’ll notice that all around. I haven’t won enough to be very talkative lately. That’s just the way life is, I think.”

“But, anyway, again, I don’t know how to answer that question. Maybe I have changed a little bit. But I think it’s all relative to going 7-6 instead of 11 or 12-1.”

BEST MILITARY REFERENCE

He’s got nothing on Rommel, but Spurrier used a “live bullet” analogy when referring to his philosophy of limiting the amount of physical contact in practice.

“I heard one time when the Army guys practice against each other, they don’t use live bullets. Why do football teams use live hits against each other? Doesn’t make sense. So we try to protect each other in all practices.”

Derek Dooley is scheduled to speak at 1:00 p.m. ET today, followed immediately by Dallas Thomas, Malik Jackson and Tauren Poole. A live stream of the event is available here.