Don't forget the sharpies!
Can't wait to see the PBS documentary on the Sharpie War.
Dearest Mabel,
It has been two weeks since the election, and my heart longs to see you, Molly, and little Abe once more. I, and the entire 45th Sharpie Brigade, are still spending our daylight hours concealed in a broom closet of the Clark County Ballot Enumeration Facility, which is also in normal times a used slot machine and showgirl headdress emporium.
We have taken to sniffing the Sharpies while at rest to overwhelm the foul malodorous-ness of our unwashed bodies. At night, we do our duty for this great country by tainting ballots marked with more appropriate implements with the great, unwashable, weapons of righteousness we have been issued: Sharpies. Cleverly marking nothing the voters themselves did not choose, our subterfuge shall remain undetectable.
I am hearing that we will soon march upon Atlanta. Perhaps you can stand by the old magnolia and wave as our legions stream by with caps fixed, our permanent markers at arms.
Yours in Socialistic Depravity,
Beauregard Rufus Potemkin III