vols2345
Volnation's resident sunshine pumper
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2005
- Messages
- 23,628
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1. NAME Chuck B.
DATE OF BIRTH july 27, 1988
2. HEIGHT 5"11
WEIGHT 166
I.Q no idea
G.P.A. 3.886 in highschool
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # X
DRIVERS LICENSE # X
4. BOY SCOUT RANK: about the same rank when you quit
5. HOME ADDRESS: X
CITY/STATE the real OC
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? yes
If No, EXPLAIN: Divorce
7. Number of years your parents have been married: 14
8. Do you own a van? No
A truck with oversized tires? No
A waterbed? No
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? No
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? means that she better sleep over my house cause her daddy is going to be pissed....
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? not much
11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? um, lets just not go there, i am already failing...
12. Church you attend none How often do you attend obviously never
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? how about never...
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone -ever- I promise.)
a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is: my teeth, i had to wear braces for years, and would like to keep them..
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is: the ribs
c) A woman's place is in the place: in the backseat of my car...
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: if i have ever been so drunk that i had no idea why i woke up with 3 girls in my bed......
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is: the legs/hips
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? chef, going to college for culinary arts.. YYYYEEEAAAHHH
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
CHUCK
Signature (That means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).
Do you still want to date my daughter?:
__X__ Yes, please accept my application
_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...
DATE OF BIRTH july 27, 1988
2. HEIGHT 5"11
WEIGHT 166
I.Q no idea
G.P.A. 3.886 in highschool
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # X
DRIVERS LICENSE # X
4. BOY SCOUT RANK: about the same rank when you quit
5. HOME ADDRESS: X
CITY/STATE the real OC
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? yes
If No, EXPLAIN: Divorce
7. Number of years your parents have been married: 14
8. Do you own a van? No
A truck with oversized tires? No
A waterbed? No
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? No
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? means that she better sleep over my house cause her daddy is going to be pissed....
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? not much
11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? um, lets just not go there, i am already failing...
12. Church you attend none How often do you attend obviously never
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? how about never...
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone -ever- I promise.)
a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is: my teeth, i had to wear braces for years, and would like to keep them..
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is: the ribs
c) A woman's place is in the place: in the backseat of my car...
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: if i have ever been so drunk that i had no idea why i woke up with 3 girls in my bed......
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is: the legs/hips
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? chef, going to college for culinary arts.. YYYYEEEAAAHHH
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
CHUCK
Signature (That means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).
Do you still want to date my daughter?:
__X__ Yes, please accept my application
_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...
