Babylon Bee thread.

[StarRaider]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[theFallGuy]

 

[volfanhill]

He got that wrong too

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[StarRaider]

 

[StarRaider]

 

[StarRaider]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[hndog609]

re-elect his head to see what's in it?

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[NorthDallas40]

re-elect his head to see what's in it?

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[norrislakevol]

I laffed.

 

[KptVFL]

White House Denies Taxidermist Visited To Stuff And Preserve President

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the media continued to scrutinize visitor logs from Joe Biden's presidency, the White House issued a denial today that a taxidermist visited to stuff and preserve the president.

babylonbee.com

 

[KptVFL]

Janet Yellen Reassures Nation That Biden’s Dementia Is Transitory

WASHINGTON, D.C. — U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen stepped forward on Tuesday to assure the American people that President Joe Biden's dementia is only a transitory issue that will likely resolve itself as election-related bottlenecks begin to clear.

babylonbee.com

 

[KptVFL]

Having Exhausted All Other Options, Obama Invites Biden Paddle Boarding

MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA — Following President Biden's repeated refusals to back out of the presidential race, former President Barack Obama has reportedly invited Biden out for a nice quiet afternoon of paddleboarding.

babylonbee.com

 

[KptVFL]

12 Most Horrifying Plans In Project 2025

Rumors about the controversial Project 2025 have been all over the news recently, but have you taken the time to learn what Project 2025 actually contains?

babylonbee.com

1. Put Kid Rock's face on the 20-dollar bill: Destroying democracy AND defacing our currency.
   
   
2. Require all Skittles to be green apple flavor: Trump is truly a monster.
3. Make Democrats scrub the floor of the Capital while singing ‘It's a Hard Knock Life' while the Republicans chill like Miss Hannigan from Annie: Blatant partisan cruelty. It'll be like reliving the horrors of Jan 6 every day.
4. Mandate praying five times a day while facing Mar-a-Lago: Literal theocracy.
5. Eliminate 2,371 of the current 2,373 genders: Literal genocide.
6. Install the Fourth and Fifth Reichs: That's more Reichs than even Hitler installed.
7. Make another Toy Story sequel: Absolutely sickening.
8. Get rid of the Designated Hitter in the National League: Don't you remember what it was like when pitchers were at bat? It's an automatic out! Don't take us back to the dark ages.
9. Appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court: Those crazy conservatives are trying to pack the court.
10. Put Rian Johnson in charge of all Star Wars projects: Some things can be tolerated... but not this.
11. Force mostly peaceful protests to be completely peaceful protests: How can you protest without setting buildings on fire and destroying entire cities?
12. Ban abortion: Just kidding! You don't want to alienate too many potential voters.

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]

 

[W.TN.Orange Blood]