The first Saturday of football season can be a significant triggering event for BVS sufferers. As such, I wanted to create a safe space for us to share our own personal BVS testimony or any BVS outbursts that we’ve witnessed.
I’ll start. The date was September 22nd, 2018 (TRIGGER WARNING), a dear friend and I decided to make the pilgrimage down to Knoxville for the Florida game as an early bachelor weekend for him. As we settled into our seats we became acquainted with the good orange clad folk around us, as you do. There was a group of middle-aged, probably southern baptist siblings behind us who had brought their aging mother for a wholesome family outing seated behind us. Salt of the earth people if ever there were. Soon the seats in front of us filled with a cute dental hygienist and her friend and some other younger fans.
As kickoff loomed a large contingent of seats to our left sat vacant and I began to see the writing on the wall. A cold sweat began to develop on my forehead as the prospect of sitting next to.... Florida fans began to enter my mind. Sure enough, as the teams were meeting at midfield for the coin flip, a group of sloppy, drunken, unwashed Floridians showed up to claim their territory.
We all know what happened in the game and you can imagine how that influenced the behavior of our swampy neighbors. The poor dental hygienist was being relentlessly hit on and the probably baptist siblings behind us were all taking turns covering their mother’s ears to shield her righteous old soul from the volleys of vitriolic swamp speech being hurled about.
As the final fires of hope were extinguished early in the 4th quarter, our baptist friends decided it was time to be getting mother home. As they stood up and shuffled toward the aisle, one of them accidentally kicked over his expensive souvenir cup of Diet Coke. His brother said “aren’t you going to get that?” And his reply is somewhat symbolic of the typical BVS attitude that tends to seep in after the Florida game every year, he said “I don’t even want that stupid cup.”
I think we have all had our “I don’t even want that stupid cup” moments.
If you suffer from Post UF Ambivalence, Offensive Line Induced Rage Fits, or any similar condition associated with BVS, feel free to share your testimony below.
).
