Concerned about my 5-year-old daughter

#28
#28
OldandStillaVol said:
Basically what I want to know is 1.) any of you ever experience something similar with your child?


I agree with what everyone above has said regarding talking with teacher and taking your daughter to medical professionals. In regards to this question, yes, my own daughter said similar wild things when she was around 5.
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How did it turn out?
 
#30
#30
volfanbill said:
Kids can't ride their bikes more than 20 yards in a straight line. Stop it.
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What does this have to do with how safe the world is?

This strengthens my point. The world is safe. Helicopter parents are the problem. It's the perception that the world is dangerous and scary, it's not the reality.
 
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#31
#31
MG1968 said:
They'll also never know what it's like to sit in front of the TV on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons until lunch time.
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I didn't. I went to Horse Krickers.

Back on point, absolutely seek out professional help.
 
#33
#33
Everybody who offered their thoughts and advice:

I sincerely thank you all for your time and consideration! After another day at school and having switched tables and classmate neighbors (will explain below) my daughter (her name is Peyton, btw!) is acting much more like her typical self and seems much happier and less anxious today.

After considering everything you guys suggested, talking with my wife and my parents at length, and most importantly seeing Peyton appear less anxious today, I believe I've got a fairly accurate understanding of the situation (I hope.)

1.) When I talked to her teacher today when picking her up, I was informed that her classmate did indeed hit her, prompting the teacher to move the girl to another table and sitting both girls down for a conflict resolution session that , IMO, was effective.

2.) My mom mentioned that when Peyton and her lil Sis stay at her house on visits, she often keeps her bedroom TV on the ID Discovery Channel (the one that constantly airs murder/mystery programs.) This is most likely where Peyton was exposed to concepts of murder, evidence destruction, and kidnapping.

3.) Peyton told me herself that when she told my wife that I killed someone she was in fact telling her about a dream she had a few nights prior.

Which leaves me with my conclusion.
1.) she likely felt anxiety about school because of the girl with whom she had a conflict. That in addition to the expected fears and obstacles associated with attending a new school. This explains why she insisted she was being bullied (Whether she was being bullied or was equally as guilty and equally responsible for the conflict hasn't been determined, but I think the most likely answer is the latter.)

2.) The night she claims to have experienced her murder nightmare lines up with the dates that she stayed with my parents last week.

Put simply, I am obviously going to continue to monitor her closely, but it seems like the answers are much simpler than I feared they would be. I am much less concerned today than I was this morning. I feel silly for making it seem much worse than it actually is, but at the time I was terrified and thinking of all kinds of scary possibilities, not the least of which was the possibility of paranoia and delusions.

I'm sorry to bring you guys into my panic but am truly grateful to know that our comminity will always be there for each other when things get real! I love you guys and I'll keep you posted on her progress!
 
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#35
#35
Good to hear you found a logical answer to your concerns. That's always a welcome comfort in my parenting experience.
 
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#37
#37
Man known of us feels like this was silly, you did the right thing taking it seriously. One thing I've noticed and love about volnation is how people are generally concerned for, and care about their fellow posters.
 
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#38
#38
peyton4heisman said:
Today was her first day of Kindergarten. She came home and said a girl punched her in the face twice. At first I got mad but then she continued and before it was over, she had accused everyone from her entire class to the principal of hitting her.
She has always been 100% honest and this is way out of character for her. But that's just the beginning. It took a DARK turn later this afternoon:
She was talking to my wife while drawing after dinner and out of nowhere told my wife (her mom) that one day I locked her in the bedroom and she heard me "kill somebody with a knife and then drag the body to the woods and then came back to clean up the blood before letting her out of the bedroom!"

I am completely shocked that she would say such dark things and even further shocked that she'd say them about me. I've always been careful to monitor what she watches on TV as much as possible and my wife and I shower her and her little sister with more love than you could imagine!

Basically what I want to know is 1.) any of you ever experience something similar with your child? and 2.) IYO, should I bring this up with her doctor and dig further with maybe a child psychologist, or am I completely overreacting?
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I have a 4 year old at church who tells every week that her dad died. Do you have any other kids. Kindergarten teacher here.
 
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#40
#40
creekerballer said:
That would be my first assumption considering she was in a Pre-k room last year and this behavior wasn't occurring. You would be amazed some of the things I see parents thinking are okay for their children to see and hear. I had a 4 year old last year tell another child he was going to "shoot their mother and watch her guts fall out." I can't say for certain, but I would really expect she has heard this from someone there. Why she is repeating it could be a different issue, maybe she saw a child doing this and getting more attention, maybe its anxiety related being at a new school and she thinks it can keep her from having to go.
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We had a class one year who couldn't hold their eyes open because the dumb parents let them watch Walking Dead.
 
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#42
#42
peyton4heisman said:
Everybody who offered their thoughts and advice:

I sincerely thank you all for your time and consideration! After another day at school and having switched tables and classmate neighbors (will explain below) my daughter (her name is Peyton, btw!) is acting much more like her typical self and seems much happier and less anxious today.

After considering everything you guys suggested, talking with my wife and my parents at length, and most importantly seeing Peyton appear less anxious today, I believe I've got a fairly accurate understanding of the situation (I hope.)

1.) When I talked to her teacher today when picking her up, I was informed that her classmate did indeed hit her, prompting the teacher to move the girl to another table and sitting both girls down for a conflict resolution session that , IMO, was effective.

2.) My mom mentioned that when Peyton and her lil Sis stay at her house on visits, she often keeps her bedroom TV on the ID Discovery Channel (the one that constantly airs murder/mystery programs.) This is most likely where Peyton was exposed to concepts of murder, evidence destruction, and kidnapping.

3.) Peyton told me herself that when she told my wife that I killed someone she was in fact telling her about a dream she had a few nights prior.

Which leaves me with my conclusion.
1.) she likely felt anxiety about school because of the girl with whom she had a conflict. That in addition to the expected fears and obstacles associated with attending a new school. This explains why she insisted she was being bullied (Whether she was being bullied or was equally as guilty and equally responsible for the conflict hasn't been determined, but I think the most likely answer is the latter.)

2.) The night she claims to have experienced her murder nightmare lines up with the dates that she stayed with my parents last week.

Put simply, I am obviously going to continue to monitor her closely, but it seems like the answers are much simpler than I feared they would be. I am much less concerned today than I was this morning. I feel silly for making it seem much worse than it actually is, but at the time I was terrified and thinking of all kinds of scary possibilities, not the least of which was the possibility of paranoia and delusions.

I'm sorry to bring you guys into my panic but am truly grateful to know that our comminity will always be there for each other when things get real! I love you guys and I'll keep you posted on her progress!
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I would monitor the situation for awhile. Might try having her record or write her experiences down. She might be a Stephen King in the making.
 
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#43
#43
Slydell said:
I would monitor the situation for awhile. Might try having her record or write her experiences down. She might be a Stephen King in the making.
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Haha not a bad idea Sly! I know all parents think their kids are special but Peyton literally is extraordinarily smart by all accounts. So much so that we had her younger sister tested for learning disabilities only to find out that she is perfectly healthy and completely on track and where she should be expected to be with regards to her knowledge and speech. She just seemed to be far behind compared to where Peyton was at certain milestones. Lil Sis is super outgoing and smart, but Big Sis has got some kind of Mensa thing going on!

And that actually contributed/contributes to my fears. I'm no expert in child development or mental development but from what I understand, being beyond a certain level of intelligent can actually have adverse consequences such as personality disorders and mental health issues born from boredom and the inability to relate to others. So I definitely will continue to monitor the situation. And yes, maybe she will be the next Stephen King and be a multi-millionaire like him too! If so, I'll make sure her priorities are in order by then and I'll see to it that her first big purchase will be a 5* QB for UT via unmarked envelopes and "Christmas money from grandma!"

:)
 
#45
#45
Something I learned a while back from a Mr Rogers interview was to keep children away from news shows. I've done my best, and when we visit grandparents I will ask them to change channels if the kids are in the room. There's so much shown on the news that kids are not able to deal with and it can be unhealthy for their mental well being.
 
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#46
#46
wildnkrazykat said:
I have a 4 year old at church who tells every week that her dad died. Do you have any other kids. Kindergarten teacher here.
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Im a little surprised the K teacher didnt notify the OP about his daughter being punched - What would you have done ? Just curious -- I wouldnt be to happy with the way the OPs daughters teacher handled it
 
#47
#47
i'll just share this story, from when my youngest was in pre k....and i preface this by giving you this disclaimer...my youngest can be a complete little s**t when she wants to be...either that, or she's the sweetest thing you've ever seen/heard. no middle ground with her...

but i picked her up from day care and she was in the administrators office, and had been for the afternoon. obviously asked why, and was told that she pushed a kid off the top of the slide, and he broke his arm and had to be rushed to the emergency room...i asked if anyone saw it, and the answer was no, i asked then how do you know she did it, and the response was "the kid said your daughter pushed him".

now, she can be a s**t, but nothing like this had she ever done.

but to make matters worse, the other kid's parent was informed of who it was and she was wanting me, my wife...the day care etc....to do something about it.

as i questioned my daughter, just asking "what did you do", she replied "i pushed him". she's in tears, i'm angry...and feeling a little like you do about what the heck could happen next, where did this come from etc...cause to hear her tell it, it was unprovoked, and she thought it was a game.

me and my wife talked all night about it, again, many of the same conversations you brought up.

the next morning, the phone rings at 6:30 a.m. and it's her actual room teacher, and she said "she didn't push anyone, he jumped off the slide!!"

i'm like, what the hell? turns out there's a video surveillance camera in the play ground, that no one bothered to check. i dropped her off and went in with her and watched it.

yep, my daughter did push him, as they were playing chase on the ground....2 minutes later he's on top of the ladder...alone....and jumped. i made sure the other kid's parent saw this as well.

so, long story short, my daughter admitted to doing something she had nothing to do with simply because someone else said she did it....and loosely, she equated the pushing during the game of chase, with being "bad" and thought that was why she was in trouble. she couldn't/didn't put that, and him jumping and getting hurt together, and the rest was lost in translation when she was being questioned about pushing him.

so all i would tell you is...talk to the teacher(s) and see if they have any insight....my guess is (just based on my experience) your kid could have seen something on TV or been told a story and just mixed up the translation when trying to tell you and your wife the same story.....
 
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#48
#48
jakez4ut said:
i'll just share this story, from when my youngest was in pre k....and i preface this by giving you this disclaimer...my youngest can be a complete little s**t when she wants to be...either that, or she's the sweetest thing you've ever seen/heard. no middle ground with her...

but i picked her up from day care and she was in the administrators office, and had been for the afternoon. obviously asked why, and was told that she pushed a kid off the top of the slide, and he broke his arm and had to be rushed to the emergency room...i asked if anyone saw it, and the answer was no, i asked then how do you know she did it, and the response was "the kid said your daughter pushed him".

now, she can be a s**t, but nothing like this had she ever done.

but to make matters worse, the other kid's parent was informed of who it was and she was wanting me, my wife...the day care etc....to do something about it.

as i questioned my daughter, just asking "what did you do", she replied "i pushed him". she's in tears, i'm angry...and feeling a little like you do about what the heck could happen next, where did this come from etc...cause to hear her tell it, it was unprovoked, and she thought it was a game.

me and my wife talked all night about it, again, many of the same conversations you brought up.

the next morning, the phone rings at 6:30 a.m. and it's her actual room teacher, and she said "she didn't push anyone, he jumped off the slide!!"

i'm like, what the hell? turns out there's a video surveillance camera in the play ground, that no one bothered to check. i dropped her off and went in with her and watched it.

yep, my daughter did push him, as they were playing chase on the ground....2 minutes later he's on top of the ladder...alone....and jumped. i made sure the other kid's parent saw this as well.

so, long story short, my daughter admitted to doing something she had nothing to do with simply because someone else said she did it....and loosely, she equated the pushing during the game of chase, with being "bad" and thought that was why she was in trouble. she couldn't/didn't put that, and him jumping and getting hurt together, and the rest was lost in translation when she was being questioned about pushing him.

so all i would tell you is...talk to the teacher(s) and see if they have any insight....my guess is (just based on my experience) your kid could have seen something on TV or been told a story and just mixed up the translation when trying to tell you and your wife the same story.....
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Wow that's crazy, at our center we will not even mention other children's name when their is an incident. Luckily, I've never had anyone break anything, but if we have to write an incident report, only the child's name who is injured can be given. We have to treat children's information the same way a doctor does their patient. If it isn't your child we can't tell you anything even if they were involved in said incident.
 
#49
#49
davethevol said:
Something I learned a while back from a Mr Rogers interview was to keep children away from news shows. I've done my best, and when we visit grandparents I will ask them to change channels if the kids are in the room. There's so much shown on the news that kids are not able to deal with and it can be unhealthy for their mental well being.
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That should go for adults too.
 
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#50
#50
508mikey said:
Im a little surprised the K teacher didnt notify the OP about his daughter being punched - What would you have done ? Just curious -- I wouldnt be to happy with the way the OPs daughters teacher handled it
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It most likely didn't happen.

Kid in my daughter's class was getting bitten, the mom was getting upset that he was getting picked on. He told his mom he was being attacked in class. It turned out he was biting all the other kids first and some would retaliate.

My duaghter has told me I'm dead or my wife is dead before. They have their own little imaginations and weave what they hear and see into stories. I don't think she's a psychopath, she's just talking.

I wouldn't worry about your kid, it's probably something she's picked up at school or somewhere else.

Of course that's assuming you didn't actually do what she said...
 
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