InVOLuntary
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Not a doc, just work in the field, so take this for what it's worth: it's not a death sentence by any means! He's probably exhausted from fighting the infection, being dehydrated, and trying to breathe over the burden of two infected lungs.
Many times a vent is used just to give the body a break, ensuring that the patient has enough oxygen in his/her blood to keep all organs working well, and the patient comes back off once he/she gets stronger.
I hope they get the antibiotics worked out so that he can start recovering soon.
-- I wouldn't have replied and would have let "one of the docs" do so first, but you sounded understandably scared, and I am hoping this might help a bit until you hear more from the pros. Thoughts and prayers for him, your wife and you, and all the family.
Being placed on the ventilator is not a death sentence. It is hopefully a temporary intervention to help him oxygenate until the pneumonia can be treated and begin to clear. That being said just the fact that he required intubation and ventilatory support indicates that he is very ill and given his Diabetes and obesity makes it even more dangerous. Prayer along with appropriate medical treatment can go a long way to help him heal. Hope and pray that things improve over the next couple of days.
Thanks to both of you for your insight and prayers.