How did you overcome a tough period in life?

[walkenvol]

Are you guys seriously advising him to self medicate?

 

[VolFaninFla]

There are many videos out there. Here is one of them.
Wish you strength and good health. Both mental and physical.

 

[OldVolMan]

All great suggestions and I’m so impressed with the people not making jokes about it like so many of our other threads.
Do not think this has been mentioned, but think about doing some volunteer work, making others life better can make your life better. We are at a great time of the year Thanksgiving and Christmas to make a difference in others lives. Actually helping someone with their difficulty and trials can help with your own.
My own personal experience with depression was after my divorce, one day I had a wife, two kids, nice home and the next day I was living alone in a old rundown house. One night I thought I’m tired of sitting here feeling sorry for myself, decided to improve my life and start over. Sometimes we just have to “start over” and view it as a great opportunity. Got busy walking 4/8 miles a day, working out, doing some volunteering and focusing on family members needing help, and before I knew it I had become too busy and happy to think about my poor pitiful self.

 

[House of Neyland]

I seriously thought about killing myself about 10 years ago after my divorce, depression hit me hard and a good friend of mine died tragically around the same time. Basically everything hit me hard at once and it felt like I had nobody to turn to expect the bottle and I was drinking alot and occasionally doing drugs. I started thinking of positive things I started jogging and running going hiking anything to get my mind off the bad stuff along with praying and finding my faith again it certainly wasn’t easy and it still isn’t today but thankfully I got thru that dark time and I’m still here and got a good wife who loves me and supports me no matter what.

 

[Hoosier_Vol]

All great suggestions and I’m so impressed with the people not making jokes about it like so many of our other threads.
Do not think this has been mentioned, but think about doing some volunteer work, making others life better can make your life better. We are at a great time of the year Thanksgiving and Christmas to make a difference in others lives. Actually helping someone with their difficulty and trials can help with your own.
My own personal experience with depression was after my divorce, one day I had a wife, two kids, nice home and the next day I was living alone in a old rundown house. One night I thought I’m tired of sitting here feeling sorry for myself, decided to improve my life and start over. Sometimes we just have to “start over” and view it as a great opportunity. Got busy walking 4/8 miles a day, working out, doing some volunteering and focusing on family members needing help, and before I knew it I had become to busy and happy to think about my poor pitiful self.

It is VN but depression isn’t a joking matter and at the end of the day we’re all one large did functional family.

 

[HarsinVol]

Are you guys seriously advising him to self medicate?

I'm seriously advising myself to self-medicate.

 

[DocVOLiday]

a few things I like or have helped me (along with a few ideas that you could look into) :

exercise - do whatever you can to stay active - might help calm your mind and also help you sleep. and can give you potentially easy "goals" to accomplish (eg. "cool, I went to do something active 5 out of 5 days I planned this week"). It also gets you out of the house (if you go to a gym or field obviously), which can be cool sometimes when you don't really want to be social and talk to people, but being around people can help you feel less lonely. obviously everybody is different, but sometimes I like being around people without the feeling that I have to talk to everybody.

get in nature - hell, it doesn't have to be anything crazy. sometimes I just put on headphones and walk around a path on a lake. it's crazy how much that relaxes me after working or something

find an artistic outlet - I've recently started playing guitar more and while I'm nothing great, it's a fun thing to do for bits out of the day/week. plus, this can be another thing where you gradually see improvement and that itself is pretty rewarding.

watch comedies (tv shows/movies or standup/sketch specials). this seriously helps me out a lot. If you need suggestions I'm sure we can give some here, or there are a few threads in the movies/music subforum - Movies and Music. I've met/bonded with quite a few people that are into similar types of shows. I'm not super into these, but could also include comedy podcasts and/or youtube channels if that's your thing

find/create music/playlists that you can listen to in different moods: sometimes I listen to instrumental things. other times I listen to old school punk. sometimes things in spanish. sometimes indie/alt rock. find what speaks to you

some other things I've thought about diving into but haven't done yet:
learning how to cook "for real" - like developing a passion for it and trying out new recipes and types of foods. kind of a practical and artistic thing imo. also, could open up cool bonding opportunities with people and become a cool conversation thing when you meet people

reading/audiobooks (more). I read some, but I would like to be more deliberate and dedicate more time to it

drawing/painting: never been a talent of mine, but would be cool to play around with it some.

other random things:
learn a new language and/or something about a new culture - youtube/music/etc. can be helpful for this and fun. Could also learn sign language instead of a spoken language which I want to do

woodworking/pottery/crafts - think this would be cool and relaxing

EDIT: Going to keep adding more things as I think about them:

obviously if you're here you're into sports at least somewhat. there could be a sport or league somewhere that you don't keep up with much. if that's the case, it can be fun to start watching more of it, learning about the league(s), rules, history, players, etc.

learn to juggle

 

[HarsinVol]

If depression is the context, then find a state which allows psilocybin. It works almost miraculously.

Psychedelic Treatment with Psilocybin Relieves Major Depression,

 

[AllVols]

One day at a time.

 

[Adam2014]

Disclaimer: I don't know if my advice and coping mechanisms are healthy, but I like what they do for me.

I look at it like there are three different kinds of depression:

Did some life event cause your current depressed state? I don't have much to offer if the source of your depression is the death or some kind of loss of a loved one. I have had financial problems that caused me lots of stress and some depression, and the way I worked through that was pretty simple and has served me fairly well. I confront my anxieties head-on and ask myself "what is the worst-case scenario?" Then I ask myself if that is the end of the world and it's most likely not. Then I remind myself it's not even the most likely scenario. Then I work my way through other possible scenarios, including the most likely ones. I find I can live with them and that my levels of anxiety did not match the actual consequences. I will say, this doesn't really work for my wife but it works like a charm for me. I can take my anxiety from an 8 to a 3 with just a few minutes of this thought exercise.

Is there something going on in your life causing you depression? I had depression early in my career that started in school because I was dreading a future where I hated work. I thought I was going to hate finance and I didn't know what else to do with my degree. I dropped out of school for a while and started some entrepreneurial endeavors that did OK and then failed. That deviation from the path helped me to cope but I didn't truly get over it until I found my first job out of college. IDK what the lesson is here aside from don't run from it like I did.

Or do you just suffer from general depression? I've had rare and small bouts with general depression, so TTFWIW, but what worked for me was staying busy. I don't think you have to constantly occupy yourself, but make sure you do something active, something productive, and something nice for someone every day.

This is a good response and I feel the need to clarify. I believe that I suffer from depression for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that I have a low self-esteem. It causes quite a few issues in my life and it has prevented me from enjoying life more. The second reason, for now, is that I really do not enjoy my job. I am taking steps to improve both of these aspects.

 

[Toujours Pret]

Left foot, right foot. Eyes on the skyline.

 

[tnutater]

If therapy hasn't proven to help, you need to go see an MD (can be in addition therapy). Depression is a physiologic disease. Don't let anyone make you feel like less of a person for having a psychiatric illness. Just like people have diabetes, hypertension, etc., people can have depression, anxiety, etc. It is based on physiologic mechanisms and can be treated with medicine.

Outside of that, God and a loving wife are my recommendations.

good advise.
God is easy to find through Christ Jesus. I always turn to Him in bad times and good.
A good wife is a bit harder, but they are out there.
Getting a rescue puppy is a great way to occupy your mind.
The amount of the unconditional love they give is unbelievable.

 

[AllVols]

This is a good response and I feel the need to clarify. I believe that I suffer from depression for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that I have a low self-esteem. It causes quite a few issues in my life and it has prevented me from enjoying life more. The second reason, for now, is that I really do not enjoy my job. I am taking steps to improve both of these aspects.

My Mom wrote a book on this. <-- link if interested.

 

[Adam2014]

My Mom wrote a book on this. <-- link if interested.

Thank you!

 

[YankeeVol]

 

[n_huffhines]

This is a good response and I feel the need to clarify. I believe that I suffer from depression for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that I have a low self-esteem. It causes quite a few issues in my life and it has prevented me from enjoying life more. The second reason, for now, is that I really do not enjoy my job. I am taking steps to improve both of these aspects.

Yeah man, it sucks that you don't like your job but a job is an easy thing to change. It's not exactly easy to find a job you like, but if you can find a job you don't dread and that you can tolerate, it's pretty easy to trick your mind into liking it. Just focus on the aspects of the job you like. I don't get paid well and the business operates in chaos and some people don't last here, but I have so much flexibility and autonomy, and so it works for me.

For the low self-esteem, I'll recommend a book called New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. He teaches Buddhist principles in a secular way, so it's not religious really at all. He probably mentions Jesus as much as he mentions Buddha, actually. It's some hippy ****, and I didn't get some of it right away (and still don't get all of it), but I just focused on the parts I did get and I worked things out. Read it like 4x now and every time I start feeling less aware, I re-read it.

The problem isn't the things about you that cause you to have low self-esteem, the problem is your brain (and my brain and all of our brains). We get too in our heads and our egos take over, and it's the source (at least in part) of all our mental anguish. For me, it's less about self-esteem and more about dwelling on the negative. I couldn't let go of dumb things I've done and I took slights too personally. I'm so much happier now that I'm aware of how and why my brain betrays me.

 

[CopperHead_Vol]

Family and friends are typically the best answers. The ones that care about you the most will help you through tough times. Music, Jogging, and lifting weights are invigorating and provide a nice release. Cuts down on stress big time IMO.

Agreed,

Some of you , (mostly the Zoners) know what I have been through over the last year. My wife and I alone at the farm for over a year with me as her caregiver, then losing her last Nov to cancer. All triggering my mostly dormant while with her PTSD and anxiety in spades. Coming back home from the ER to our secluded farm alone that night and staying here by myself has almost ended me several times.

I detailed my situation to say this.... Family and friends are the only reason I am here right now. My service dog started earning his keep that night and that helped but my wife had reached out to my sister and daughters who lived out of state to ask them to look after me once she was gone. Since then, my two oldest daughters have moved their families (husbands and a total of 6 grand-children) up to TN living within 25-minutes of me. I am selling my farm to one of my daughters and I am moving into another house still local to them.

The advice that everyone has given here is sound. I truly hope you find peace. I am not fond of religion as people no matter of their good intent can and will faultier and get off track. (remember that it was the religious leaders that condemned Jesus). Do not let the weakness of men keep you from finding spiritual peace seeking God in your own way.

Take care,

CH_V

 

[tnutater]

Agreed,

Some of you , (mostly the Zoners) know what I have been through over the last year. My wife and I alone at the farm for over a year with me as her caregiver, then losing her last Nov to cancer. All triggering my mostly dormant while with her PTSD and anxiety in spades. Coming back home from the ER to our secluded farm alone that night and staying here by myself has almost ended me several times.

I detailed my situation to say this.... Family and friends are the only reason I am here right now. My service dog started earning his keep that night and that helped but my wife had reached out to my sister and daughters who lived out of state to ask them to look after me once she was gone. Since then, my two oldest daughters have moved their families (husbands and a total of 6 grand-children) up to TN living within 25-minutes of me. I am selling my farm to one of my daughters and I am moving into another house still local to them.

The advice that everyone has given here is sound. I truly hope you find peace. I am not fond of religion as people no matter of their good intent can and will faultier and get off track. (remember that it was the religious leaders that condemned Jesus). Do not let the weakness of men keep you from finding spiritual peace seeking God in your own way.

Take care,

CH_V

RED LETTER QUOTE John 14:6 NKJV
I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to God except though me.

Religion, churches, or anything made by man is not mentioned in this scripture.

 

[tbh]

What worked for me when I hit a rough patch is, as several others have mentioned, hiking and (in general) the outdoors. The alone time away from university/job/distractions was soothing, and really allowed me to think through things at my own speed. Other times, the hikes simply allowed me to purge the world from my mind and focus on each step, one after the other. That was quite peaceful.

Since then, a book I read really brought it into focus what I was processing in bits and pieces on my hikes, and that is to focus on the things that are important and that one can actually have an impact upon. The name of the book (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a f***) may turn some folks off, but I found it to be a genuinely good read.

 

[n_huffhines]

What worked for me when I hit a rough patch is, as several others have mentioned, hiking and (in general) the outdoors. The alone time away from university/job/distractions was soothing, and really allowed me to think through things at my own speed. Other times, the hikes simply allowed me to purge the world from my mind and focus on each step, one after the other. That was quite peaceful.

Since then, a book I read really brought it into focus what I was processing in bits and pieces on my hikes, and that is to focus on the things that are important and that one can actually have an impact upon. The name of the book (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a f***) may turn some folks off, but I found it to be a genuinely good read.

My sister said something simple that changed my life. I had come back from a 2-mile run feeling good and she said, "You rarely want to go for a run but you never regret going." It is so true and you can apply this thought to any cardio exercise. I always feel so good hiking but my dumb brain that wants to be in a rut tries to be lazy and talk me out of it. I try to remember to tell myself I won't regret it and then it's easier to get off my ass.

 

[ButchPlz]

For me-

Morning routine, including exercise and getting up at the same time every day.
Planning my day.
Carrying a small notebook to write down (and control) my thoughts and "author" situations into what I wanted them to be.
Afternoon/evening exercise.
Eating right.

So much of our mind is linked to our bodies.

 

[LouderVol]

This is a good response and I feel the need to clarify. I believe that I suffer from depression for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that I have a low self-esteem. It causes quite a few issues in my life and it has prevented me from enjoying life more. The second reason, for now, is that I really do not enjoy my job. I am taking steps to improve both of these aspects.

On the job front could you possibly pick up a side hustle? At least while you look for better? Something that draws you, maybe even something you know cant be a career for whatever reason.

Even if you dont like your 9-5, finding a 7-9(pm) or weekender you do like could do wonders to your outlook towards working.

At least for me the issue with my depression is the feedback loops I get stuck in. Finding even small breaks in the feedback loop with your job negativity might help you get out of the rut. So to speak. Dont wait for perfect when it comes to your mental health, just find noticeable, to you, steps.

 

[SDV]

Thank you for your bravery in sharing. Many people are too proud to ask for help, with the fear of being looked down on. I went through a really rough time in my life due to some financial troubles. I’d never, ever thought I would consider suicide, but it actually crossed my mind for a brief time and that scared me. I thought that I was in a situation that I could not get out of. I just took a look at my family and knew that it would be a completely selfish decision and would just make their life worse. Sometimes, depression can be a huge motivating factor in making life changes. You can turn a negative into a positive just by changing the current way that you are living your life. I’ll pray that you can overcome your current situation and land yourself in a better spot. If you ever need someone to talk about it with, feel free to call me.

 

[RiverVol]

Work, move, do.

If you have an opportunity to go out and do things with or without people, GO!

Stay busy, avoid "down time" like the plague (it is).

Write down all of the compliments. seriously. Any negative self talk - ask yourself what you can learn from it, and then let it go.

Stay. Busy... stay busy.

Always remember: Failure, rejection, and even terrible happenstance are absolutely NOT indicative of WHO you are. Life is not that smart, and it certainly doesn't care.

We care though! - while you are staying very busy, you might seek out some counseling as needed and if possible.

 

[508mikey]

I banged a bunch of hookers.

and ?