How did you overcome a tough period in life?

#176
#176
Pennheel said:
So sorry to hear that you went through that in such a short period of time. Heartbreaking... Definitely in my prayers. Glad you had support and outlets for your depression. I can't relate exactly,but I've had depression to the point where I've not wanted to get out of bed and just sleep. It felt like I just just wanted to hide under a rock. Things are much better though now.

@Voldog1998 Glad to hear things have gotten better for you this year.
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Thanks man glad to see your doing good as well.
 
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#179
#179
bignewt said:
I know when it comes to a personal trauma/loss you just fight. Everyday you fight the same fight. Eventually the fight gets easier but it takes a while. Time is the only medicine.
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I completely agree time is the only medicine. However, some of us can't imagine our next breath, much less the next day, week, month, year. It is unfathomable that there is anything outside of the current situation that would render continued life worth living.
I have attempted suicide more than once. I was lucky in those situations that it didn't work. I'm starting to get to a better place in life, one where I realize that it would hurt others to see me go. But I never, in my worst times, had that thought.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is if "time" Is the best advice you can offer someone, think differently. Time is not on a suicidal persons mind. Ending whatever the pain is. Sometimes just a "hey, I'm here if you need me" Is enough, other times it is answering a call when you think you are too busy for a friend or relative on need.
Sometimes, when someone downs a bottle of their antidepressants because they made them feel numb, it is listening and helping them find medicine that works. Sometimes it is you being the medicine that person needs. Sometimes it is medication. Usually it is a combination. I'd be dead if it weren't for my brother in law knowing when to laugh and when to show up immediately.

Sorry for long post. TLDR: just be there for people. Every situation is different
 
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#180
#180
joevol24 said:
I completely agree time is the only medicine. However, some of us can't imagine our next breath, much less the next day, week, month, year. It is unfathomable that there is anything outside of the current situation that would render continued life worth living.
I have attempted suicide more than once. I was lucky in those situations that it didn't work. I'm starting to get to a better place in life, one where I realize that it would hurt others to see me go. But I never, in my worst times, had that thought.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is if "time" Is the best advice you can offer someone, think differently. Time is not on a suicidal persons mind. Ending whatever the pain is. Sometimes just a "hey, I'm here if you need me" Is enough, other times it is answering a call when you think you are too busy for a friend or relative on need.
Sometimes, when someone downs a bottle of their antidepressants because they made them feel numb, it is listening and helping them find medicine that works. Sometimes it is you being the medicine that person needs. Sometimes it is medication. Usually it is a combination. I'd be dead if it weren't for my brother in law knowing when to laugh and when to show up immediately.

Sorry for long post. TLDR: just be there for people. Every situation is different
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agreed.

and at least for me the "selfishness of suicide" or "hurting others with my actions" wasn't a factor for me, when I was attempting suicide. Lots of things can lead someone to that point. and part of my issue leading to depression was how my actions were already hurting others, so telling me to think of others only made suicide a more valid option.

small kindnesses are the only reason I am still around.
 
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#181
#181
I know it seems mean but realizing life isn’t about you. Getting in the head space of living to serve instead of living to be served. You are not a victim of your circumstances but an overcomer. Get in the world when all you want to do is hide.

And no pressure but if you are ever open to it, talk to Jesus He really helps. Or not but worth a shot if you get to a place that nothing seems to work for more than a few minutes. It changed my life.
 
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#182
#182
LouderVol said:
bump for @Adam2014
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Hi, I appreciate everyone keeping this post going. Things have been improving for me due to some hard work I have done. I have lost about 25 lbs in the last 6 months because I have been going to the gym multiple times per week. This has been hard work, but it certainly has paid off. I am under 200 lbs for the first time in around 3 years. I am becoming more comfortable with day-to-day tasks.

I think part of my struggles are a generational issues. I know not everyone was raised this way, but I believe one of my issues growing up was the general thought: "You work hard and eventually you get to a spot where you make it". I am not sure exactly how I arrived at this, but it has taken me some time to realize it and break out of that process. There are going to be good days and bad days. Getting items checked off the list on a "bad day" can make you feel a lot better.

I have had a pretty good 2023 so far and I am excited to see where the rest of the year goes.
 
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#184
#184
Thanks, @Adam2014 for starting this thread. And thanks to all of the folks who have posted in here. I’ve read the thread a few times. Anxiety is newish to me (past 4 years or so). It rarely shows up, but when it does, it’s specific to my family and me. I can function at work - even if it is the main, current stressor for me. But I carry that stress to my family. My chest tightens; it feels like someone is sitting on top of me, simple decisions are a challenge, and any pressure to make a decision shuts me down. The normal rhythms of life become noise to me. And the noise isn’t just sound, every kids’ voice, every phone, every dog, my wife, everything is a chaotic jumble of noise.

I don’t react well to the noise all of the time. But I’m aware of it and have been working to recognize where the stress and pressure comes from and tried not to direct my frustration with those stressors at my wife and kids.

And to be clear, I don’t think my wife and kids are noise, but there are times where everything is loud and overwhelming. In those overwhelming moments, it’s hard for me to differentiate the life-giving activity and noise of healthy family interactions from the constant noise of emails, phone calls, chats, texts, etc from work.

My wife has dealt with anxiety and has been very encouraging and supportive.

I’ve tried to own the daily alerts of work by adding positive reminders to my daily calendar. Recently, I read a line from Dallas Willard: “No need to fight it. Just stop feeding it.” It pops up as a calendar reminder every day at 1145. Whatever I’m struggling with that morning - I stop and ask myself if I’m making it better or worse.

This week was a real challenge. Lost a good friend to cancer and suddenly, old hurts and pains decided to show up. Hurts and pains that are completely irrelevant to my life now. They kept me up at night. Made me a mediocre dad and husband. I have reached out to a counselor for the first time.

Remembered this thread and read from your first post, Adam. Pushed myself with exercise. Also put Jeff Parker on repeat this week. Needed some low key music. And finally, turned on my out of office today and took my eldest to the High Museum. Spent the day enjoying art.

I needed today. And I needed this thread. Thanks, Adam, and all who have contributed here.
 
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#185
#185
franklinpence said:
Thanks, @Adam2014 for starting this thread. And thanks to all of the folks who have posted in here. I’ve read the thread a few times. Anxiety is newish to me (past 4 years or so). It rarely shows up, but when it does, it’s specific to my family and me. I can function at work - even if it is the main, current stressor for me. But I carry that stress to my family. My chest tightens; it feels like someone is sitting on top of me, simple decisions are a challenge, and any pressure to make a decision shuts me down. The normal rhythms of life become noise to me. And the noise isn’t just sound, every kids’ voice, every phone, every dog, my wife, everything is a chaotic jumble of noise.

I don’t react well to the noise all of the time. But I’m aware of it and have been working to recognize where the stress and pressure comes from and tried not to direct my frustration with those stressors at my wife and kids.

And to be clear, I don’t think my wife and kids are noise, but there are times where everything is loud and overwhelming. In those overwhelming moments, it’s hard for me to differentiate the life-giving activity and noise of healthy family interactions from the constant noise of emails, phone calls, chats, texts, etc from work.

My wife has dealt with anxiety and has been very encouraging and supportive.

I’ve tried to own the daily alerts of work by adding positive reminders to my daily calendar. Recently, I read a line from Dallas Willard: “No need to fight it. Just stop feeding it.” It pops up as a calendar reminder every day at 1145. Whatever I’m struggling with that morning - I stop and ask myself if I’m making it better or worse.

This week was a real challenge. Lost a good friend to cancer and suddenly, old hurts and pains decided to show up. Hurts and pains that are completely irrelevant to my life now. They kept me up at night. Made me a mediocre dad and husband. I have reached out to a counselor for the first time.

Remembered this thread and read from your first post, Adam. Pushed myself with exercise. Also put Jeff Parker on repeat this week. Needed some low key music. And finally, turned on my out of office today and took my eldest to the High Museum. Spent the day enjoying art.

I needed today. And I needed this thread. Thanks, Adam, and all who have contributed here.
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Praying for you
 
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#187
#187
@joevol24

here is a thread where people have shared some troubles. feel free to peruse, and share if you feel like it.

even on a random message board there are people who care.
 
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