How many Baptists does it take?

#1
MyBloodRunnethOrange

MyBloodRunnethOrange

Jesus is Lord
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#1
Q. How many Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. 20.........It takes

A 6 person committe to determine if it is really necessary to change the bulb.

A seperate 6 person committe to figure out who should do this all important job.

1 church handyman to do the deed

6 deacons to lament how much better things were with the old bulb.....and.........

1 little old blue haired lady to bring the potato salad.
 
#6
#6
Originally posted by VolunteerHillbilly@Dec 1, 2005 4:44 PM
Why you picking on the Baptists?  This was just plain rude.  :bad:
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It's all in light-hearted fun. I'm a Baptist myself, but I can see the humor in it. We do have a committee for everything. :thumbsup:


~*Crystal*~
 
#7
#7
Originally posted by CrystalEHS07@Dec 1, 2005 4:52 PM
It's all in light-hearted fun. I'm a Baptist myself, but I can see the humor in it. We do have a committee for everything.  :thumbsup:
~*Crystal*~
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Me, too...and what she said.
 
#8
#8
The point is if this joke had started off as "How many muslims..." or "How many jews..." some people would be offended. Just becasue you are a baptist and not offended does not mean that other people cannot be offended by it.
 
#9
#9
Got to have a little humor :birgits_giggle: even though it's a religious joke. One can substitute any group-even a college.
Substitute Texas Aggies! :birgits_giggle:
 
#10
#10
Originally posted by VolunteerHillbilly@Dec 1, 2005 5:02 PM
The point is if this joke had started off as "How many muslims..."  or "How many jews..." some people would be offended.  Just becasue you are a baptist and not offended does not mean that other people cannot be offended by it.
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Funny that you're offended by a little humor, especially since you're the fellow who posted the item below last month. It's the same kind of nonsense the Bammers post about Tennesseans.

Here 'tis:

VolunteerHillbilly Posted on: Nov 21, 2005 1:25 PM
Serious Member

I would agree but the problem is all the inbreds who inhabit this state, especially in East Tenneessee and the southern part of Middle TN, have screwed up the gene pool to the point that we just don't raise 'em anymore. Maybe some of these people moving from California to work at the new Nissan hq will have some kids who know how to play good football.


 
#11
#11
Originally posted by VolunteerHillbilly@Dec 1, 2005 4:44 PM
Why you picking on the Baptists?  This was just plain rude.  :bad:
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I am a Baptist. That's why it's so danged funny. :lol: Ever been to a Baptist meeting? It's like a volnation quarterback thread :D
 
#12
#12
Originally posted by Fayettevol@Dec 1, 2005 5:20 PM
Funny that you're offended by a little humor, especially since you're the fellow who posted the item below last month. It's the same kind of nonsense the Bammers post about Tennesseans.

Here 'tis:

VolunteerHillbilly Posted on: Nov 21, 2005 1:25 PM
Serious Member

I would agree but the problem is all the inbreds who inhabit this state, especially in East Tenneessee and the southern part of Middle TN, have screwed up the gene pool to the point that we just don't raise 'em anymore. Maybe some of these people moving from California to work at the new Nissan hq will have some kids who know how to play good football.
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Well Fayettevol, I was just stating a fact about the rednecks and bumpkins who inhabit those parts of the state. By the way, you wouldn't happen to be a middle school principal would you?
 
#13
#13
Originally posted by VolunteerHillbilly@Dec 2, 2005 6:57 AM
Well Fayettevol, I was just stating a fact about the rednecks and bumpkins who inhabit those parts of the state. 
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That really goes a long way for your credibility. Unless you're going to quote some genetic studies and their correlation to the upbringing of the children in said areas of the state, I believe you owe an apology to the East and South-Central Tennesseans who disagree.

Trash our neighbors and rivals all you want, but when you start hitting close to home, a few people around here take offense. . . .especially when it relates to how we rear our kids.
 
#15
#15
I am Southern Baptist and how you could not, as a Baptist, not find that absolutely hilarious?

If you cannot make fun of yourself then you will probably not find too much humor in life.

It is similar to the analogy you must first learn to follow before you can lead.

You must first make fun of yourself before you can make fun of others!

Just trust me on that one!
:blink:
 
#16
#16
Episcopalian (southern middle TN born and bred) checking in here!

The reason I'm an Episcopalian, when you find 4 Episcopalians together....there's always a FIFTH.

The difference between Baptists, Methodists and Episcopalians?

The Methodists speak to each other in the liquor store. The Episcolpalians own the liquor store.

BTW, I am a hillbilly, not a redneck. Get your terminolgy correct!
 
#18
#18
Everyone knows that southern middle TN is 90% Bammers. Either you are just a pack of trolls trying to cause trouble on a UT message board OR you are contrarians who are going to disagree with almost anything just for the sake of disagreement. BTW I spent a significant amount of time traveling from county to county throughout much of the state and I am comfortable in making the assertion that there is a much higher percentage of uneducated goofballs in southern middle TN than that enjoyed by your illustrious neighbors to the north.












Or maybe the whole thing was a joke. Hmmm??? :post-20645-1119625378:
 
#20
#20
Originally posted by VolunteerHillbilly@Dec 2, 2005 4:53 PM
Everyone knows that southern middle TN is 90% Bammers.  Either you are just a pack of trolls trying to cause trouble on a UT message board OR you are contrarians who are going to disagree with almost anything just for the sake of disagreement.  BTW I spent a significant amount of time traveling from county to county throughout much of the state and I am comfortable in making the assertion that there is a much higher percentage of uneducated goofballs in southern middle TN than that enjoyed by your illustrious neighbors to the north.
Or maybe the whole thing was a joke.  Hmmm???  :post-20645-1119625378:
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Er, ehh, this uneducated goofball from southern middle TN is no bammer. In fact, I am THE ANTI-bammer. Man, you must have your TN map turned upside down. :nener:
 
#21
#21
Originally posted by CrystalEHS07@Dec 1, 2005 4:52 PM
. We do have a committee for everything.  :thumbsup:
~*Crystal*~
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I was in a church one time that had a committee on committees :lol:
 
#24
#24
Originally posted by bravevol@Dec 3, 2005 10:32 PM
got any pentacostal jokes because well i'm pentacostal
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How many Pentacostals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten, one to change the bulb and nine to rebuke the spirit of darkness :D
 
#25
#25
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River.'"

 
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