How many Baptists does it take?

#26
#26
Originally posted by MyBloodRunnethOrange@Dec 4, 2005 10:44 AM
How many Pentacostals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten, one to change the bulb and nine to rebuke the spirit of darkness :D
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how about Church of Christ jokes because i heard there like a cult or something
 
#27
#27
When I was dating my 1st wife I was shanghai'd to church with her. Her and her family were all Methodists. Once she commented on a Church of Christ member calling them a ''camelite''. I asked her smiling well what do they call Methodists? She replied ''chicken eatin Methodists''
 
#28
#28
Originally posted by bravevol@Dec 5, 2005 4:57 PM
how about Church of Christ jokes because i heard there like a cult or something
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No, the Church of Christ isn't a cult. They don't have music in worship, but other than that they pretty much have the same beliefs as the other mainstream denominations.
 
#29
#29
Originally posted by MyBloodRunnethOrange@Dec 5, 2005 5:19 PM
No, the Church of Christ isn't a cult. They don't have music in worship, but other than that they pretty much have the same beliefs as the other mainstream deniminations.
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just don't show up with your banjo :birgits_giggle:
 
#30
#30
Originally posted by VolunteerHillbilly@Dec 2, 2005 3:53 PM
Everyone knows that southern middle TN is 90% Bammers. 
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Since when?

Anyway, this was just a joke. Get over it.

Oh wait, you;re a true Southern Baptist, I guess. You wouldn't know a joke if it hit you in the face. LOL
 
#31
#31
As a Southern Baptist I can tell you that it's not that we don't know jokes until they hit us in the face . . . it's that we're all sitting in the back of the church and the jokes just take longer to reach us.
 
#32
#32
Originally posted by dan4vols@Dec 5, 2005 6:29 PM
just don't show up with your banjo :birgits_giggle:
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Or a tux for a prom :hi:
 
#33
#33
Originally posted by GAVol@Dec 6, 2005 9:56 PM
As a Southern Baptist I can tell you that it's not that we don't know jokes until they hit us in the face . . . it's that we're all sitting in the back of the church and the jokes just take longer to reach us.
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Can I get another Amen!!! (this is from the row of Cumberland Presbyterians sitting in the row right behind you and we can't get together for anything without it being a potluck)
 
#34
#34
Originally posted by GAVol@Dec 6, 2005 9:56 PM
As a Southern Baptist I can tell you that it's not that we don't know jokes until they hit us in the face . . . it's that we're all sitting in the back of the church and the jokes just take longer to reach us.
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You're more like Methodists than I thought, then.

We're usually in the back row taking a nap. :biggrin2:
 
#35
#35
Originally posted by MyBloodRunnethOrange@Dec 5, 2005 5:19 PM
No, the Church of Christ isn't a cult. They don't have music in worship, but other than that they pretty much have the same beliefs as the other mainstream denominations.
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that and the fact they think all other denominations are going to hell.
 
#36
#36
Originally posted by orangetd88@Dec 6, 2005 10:27 PM
that and the fact they think all other denominations are going to hell.
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not if you convert...all this reminds me of my late Grandfather (diehard CHurch of Christ) he sold an acre of land to a CofC congregation that wanted to build a new church, but unknown to him they were a reformed Cof C that allowed music in the church. He did everything he could think of to try and get that land back because it wasn't a "real" church. The church is still there.
 
#37
#37
Originally posted by orangetd88@Dec 6, 2005 11:27 PM
that and the fact they think all other denominations are going to hell.
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:lol: I can attest to that. My Grandmother is Church of Christ. I insure churches for a living and she is always asking me why we deal with all of those "off brand" denominations.
 
#38
#38
Originally posted by GAVol@Dec 6, 2005 10:56 PM
As a Southern Baptist I can tell you that it's not that we don't know jokes until they hit us in the face . . . it's that we're all sitting in the back of the church and the jokes just take longer to reach us.
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:lolabove: :lolabove:
 
#39
#39
Originally posted by orangetd88@Dec 6, 2005 11:27 PM
that and the fact they think all other denominations are going to hell.
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MyBloodRunnethOrange died one day and went to heaven. St Peter met him at the gate and asked him what denomination he wanted to spend eternity with. Well, MBRO couldn't make up his mind so St Peter offered to give him a tour to help make up his mind. They came to the first room, and everyone was in there eating and comparing who had the nicest clothes. This is the Baptist room said St Peter. Let me look around a little more replied MBRO, so they went to the next room where everyone was up running around and dancing. These are the Pentecostals said St Peter. MBRO decided that he still needed to look a little further, so they went to the third room. When we open this door you need to be extremely quiet, St Peter said. Why, replied MBRO. Because, Peter came back, this is the Church of Christ room, and they think they're the only ones here.
 
#40
#40
Originally posted by MyBloodRunnethOrange@Dec 6, 2005 11:03 PM
MyBloodRunnethOrange died one day and went to heaven. St Peter met him at the gate and asked him what denomination he wanted to spend eternity with. Well, MBRO couldn't make up his mind so St Peter offered to give him a tour to help make up his mind. They came to the first room, and everyone was in there eating and comparing who had the nicest clothes. This is the Baptist room said St Peter. Let me look around a little more replied MBRO, so they went to the next room where everyone was up running around and dancing. These are the Pentecostals said St Peter. MBRO decided that he still needed to look a little further, so they went to the third room. When we open this door you need to be extremely quiet, St Peter said. Why, replied MBRO. Because, Peter came back, this is the Church of Christ room, and they think they're the only ones here.
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:lolabove:
 
#41
#41
In a small town there were only 2 churches, a Methodist and a Church of Christ, (this is the way it was told to me, feel free to substitute your own 2 denominations) the ministers from each church would meet every Mon and Sat at the town square. Both churches were small and poor and the ministers could only afford bicycles to ride.
One Sat the Cof C preacher came walking into town. The Methodist preacher inquired about his bike. "Well, I hate to say this but i think someone in the congregation has stolen my bike, and i don't know what to do about it."
" Tell you what I'd do. Come up with a sermon about the 10 commandments and when you come to "Thou shall not steal" really pour on the fire and brimstone. Whoever stole your bike will feel guilty about it and return it."
" That's an excellent idea! I'll do that.'
The next Monday the C of C preacher came riding up on his bicycle. The methodist preacher says, "Well, I see that my idea worked."
"Well, yes and no. I did what you said and prepared an excellent sermon on the 10 commandments. I started preaching Sunday and boy I had the fire and brimestone hot, but when I got to the part about "Thou shalt not commit adultery....I remembered where I left my bicycle."
 
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