I don’t say so, the Church does. No?
This isn’t a lifelong decision, it is for eternity. I would imagine the Church believes calling it a life-long covenant is selling short of what is really being done.
How does someone that is dead “accept the proxy”?
By the way, there was a legal dispute about 10 years ago I think about a group of Jews that took offense to the practice. Anne Frank and others were found to have been baptized by proxy, so I seriously doubt the church had any kind of authorization from the deceased families for doing it before that. Legally I’m sure they viewed the practice as non-impactful (rightfully so) but that contradicts the churches teachings on the impact to the deceased.
The whole idea is silly IMO and I wouldn’t care either way. It isn’t like any of it has any real real impact outside of the imaginary. Especially if I’m dead, what do I care? That is, until somebody actually takes offense to it because it impacts their own theological beliefs.