I tend to agree with this, however if having this issue brought to SCOTUS leads to some sort change in federal policy or at least starts a process of change, I think it could be a good thing.
As a gay man I personally do not care about getting married, but I am interested in having equal rights from a federal perspective. I do not think the federal government should be involved with the marriage issue but unfortunately it already is. There are many legal benefits and responsibilities awarded to married persons by the federal government today. I would be all for replacing marriage benefits with some sort of civil union setup - would solve issues most important to me. And while many of the federal benefits have a financial focus, there are also others which involve health and critical events with partners which to me is a very big deal. POAs can mitigate much of this, but not all.
Interesting topic of conversation for sure.