Relationship Tips or How to Stay Out of Marriage (failed) Thread

#27
#27
Lawrence Wright said:
Opposites do not always attract.
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usually better off if they realize that and roll with it. Problem occurs when one thinks they can change the other and are pissed off when they can't.
Know who you are marrying. Fo sho. Secrets are fine. Personalities need to be known though. Heat of battle, best of times, drunk, sober, bad times...know your spouse and work around each's strengths and weaknesses.
Good communication will limit blowups that occur over nothing due to pent up thoughts and feelings.
 
#28
#28
BearCat204 said:
You probably want to give it a little more time than a year and a half after a 19 year marriage JMO, but it sounds like you are trying to move back into something too quickly. My advice.......buy a dog for companionship right now and just focus on yourself and have a few one nighters a month to keep yourself from going crazy.
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You talking to me?

Ink dry on judge's signature a year and a half...marriage over about ten years ago.
 
#30
#30
Some things are worth fighting for, others aren't. Figure out the difference and be content to let some things go. Remember, you are married to a good hearted person who wants to make things work. Sometimes the relationship is more important than the satisfaction of "being right."

Have your own identity and bring a complete person to the relationship. Otherwise you'll keep trying to get your spouse to fill voids you should be able to fill yourself. This doesn't mean have a totally separate life, but if you aren't happy with who you are, then your spouse won't be happy with who you are either.
 
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#31
#31
There are a plethora of helpful hints and tips out there, but none of them matter if you're not with the right person.
 
#35
#35
BearCat204 said:
Yes, talking to you, JMO and advice if you are seeking any
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Cool...I get ya.

I've had one longish relationship. She pretty much pushed me away so I would go out with other girls (not a bad thing). Other than that, just gone out with a few different girls for a couple of months each. They seem to want to get more serious faster than I do. All have ended on pretty good terms.
 
#36
#36
A proactive suggestion:

Tub and candles...

During the 19 year marriage, we had a big jetted tub the last ten years or so. My ex is a tub soaker. I never was. During that time, we never got in the tub together. I suggested it but it never happened.

After marriage, I have become a believer in the tub. A couple of hours in a bubble bath with candles and a bottle of wine is great for relaxation and communication...not a sex thing, but talking and laughing...spending private/focused time together. I think it can wash away a lot of the little things that build up between a couple.
 
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