Sheryl Crow Endorses Toilet Paper Rationing

#1
Tenn_Vol_Authority

Tenn_Vol_Authority

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2007
Messages
2,207
Likes
0
#1
FOXNews.com - Report: Sheryl Crow's Solutions to Global Warming - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment

Our Founding Fathers should have added an 11th Amendment to the Bill of Rights that protects our right to use toilet paper. An obvious oversight when they were considering gun ownership...

"Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required," she wrote.
Click to expand...

Yes, using toilet paper is our God-given right. :crazy:
 
#3
#3
I love it when rock stars get intellectual.

She obviously hasn't considered the side effect of her rationing idea . . . People who have used their daily ration are more apt to hold it which in turn could generate increased gaseous emmissions which will increase the concentration of methane in the atmosphere and make the world come to an end. It is incumbent on everyone to use as much Charmin as possible.
 
#4
#4
As much as I hate to say it I actually like Rosie's response: "Have you seen my ass?"
 
#5
#5
How about the 3 sea shells?

&
 
#8
#8
I just don't know what I'd do with only 3 squares a day. I wonder if substituting TP with Bounty would do any good. It's the quicker picker upper you know?
 
#10
#10
Her and Laurie David were speaking at UAB last week - I have the feeling I missed a great comedy show...
 
#13
#13
If this gets off the ground, I sure hope it's 2-ply. I worry about the risk, though, of tissue paper break-through. I mean, who among us has not gone ahead and dropped the package before noticing there's a practically transparent amount of tp left on the roll? Ingenuity is one thing, but I don't care how coordinated or crafty you are with a folded single square of toilet paper, it's difficult to put it to work in one smooth motion without touching something you didn't intend or want to touch, or at least worry that you did, bringing about the always untimely but painfully necessary fingertip sniff. :no: And if it happens to be one of those stubborn-textured deals, or a near-diarrhea experience wherein every contact with the out-door seems to invite more to the surface, well then you're really hurting in a 1 to 3 square scenario. I don't know, I'm all for protecting the environment, but I see trouble with this one. All in all, I'd say it's a pretty sh*tty idea.
 
#16
#16
This might be a good time for me to start up a butt scratcher company.
 
#23
#23
This all kind of makes me wonder why the bidet isn't very popular in the U.S.A.
 
New posts
You must log in or register to reply here.

VN Store



Back
Top