Tell Me Your Worst Dating Story?

#126
#126
mad4vols said:
Man, that sucks big time, I keep hoping your stories would end differently, but I guess all of yours pretty much stick with the theme of worst dates. Also, too bad you missed a hell of a game that year.
Click to expand...

PART 4

It's the week after Thanksgiving and I picked up some bookkeeping gigs on the side. I'm working at my place at night and someone knocks on my door at 830 at night. Its Memphis so who knows what's on the other side. I open it up and its zombie girl. She asks to come in. She mentioned shes back in Memphis trying to get a transfer back ( she worked in energy industry in Houston and that market was in turmoil with everything circling Enron at the time). She also has 2 Tennessee Florida tickets and she was like "I bet I know who will take me to my first Tennessee game." So we made the 11 hour drive to Gainesville and saw the game.

So we met up with some friends walking into the Swamp and there were these 3 Gator frat boys that got in her face saying (Suck my D). One of the frat guys was short, one was tall, and one was a little chunky. Given how she played me on the Celine documentary, I figured she could fend for herself. She told the short one she doesnt mess with short guys, the tall guy said something and she blurted out "you're too ugly" and before the fat one could say something she told him his D was too small. She had Gator fans throwing beer bottles at her after the game for running her mouth.


The day after the UT-UF game, Enron declared BK. She got a transfer back to Memphis.

And for those who know how my family tends to get in trouble at sporting events for running their mouths, let's just say they get it from their mom....
 
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#128
#128
BigOrangeMojo said:
PART 4

It's the week after Thanksgiving and I picked up some bookkeeping gigs on the side. I'm working at my place at night and someone knocks on my door at 830 at night. Its Memphis so who knows what's on the other side. I open it up and its zombie girl. She asks to come in. She mentioned shes back in Memphis trying to get a transfer back ( she worked in energy industry in Houston and that market was in turmoil with everything circling Enron at the time). She also has 2 Tennessee Florida tickets and she was like "I bet I know who will take me to my first Tennessee game." So we made the 11 hour drive to Gainesville and saw the game.

So we met up with some friends walking into the Swamp and there were these 3 Gator frat boys that got in her face saying (Suck my D). One of the frat guys was short, one was tall, and one was a little chunky. Given how she played me on the Celine documentary, I figured she could fend for herself. She told the short one she doesnt mess with short guys, the tall guy said something and she blurted out "you're too ugly" and before the fat one could say something she told him his D was too small. She had Gator fans throwing beer bottles at her after the game for running her mouth.


The day after the UT-UF game, Enron declared BK. She got a transfer back to Memphis.

And for those who know how my family tends to get in trouble at sporting events for running their mouths, let's just say they get it from their mom....
Click to expand...
Awww, finally, a happy ending. That was great.
 
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#129
#129
BigOrangeMojo said:
PART 4

It's the week after Thanksgiving and I picked up some bookkeeping gigs on the side. I'm working at my place at night and someone knocks on my door at 830 at night. Its Memphis so who knows what's on the other side. I open it up and its zombie girl. She asks to come in. She mentioned shes back in Memphis trying to get a transfer back ( she worked in energy industry in Houston and that market was in turmoil with everything circling Enron at the time). She also has 2 Tennessee Florida tickets and she was like "I bet I know who will take me to my first Tennessee game." So we made the 11 hour drive to Gainesville and saw the game.

So we met up with some friends walking into the Swamp and there were these 3 Gator frat boys that got in her face saying (Suck my D). One of the frat guys was short, one was tall, and one was a little chunky. Given how she played me on the Celine documentary, I figured she could fend for herself. She told the short one she doesnt mess with short guys, the tall guy said something and she blurted out "you're too ugly" and before the fat one could say something she told him his D was too small. She had Gator fans throwing beer bottles at her after the game for running her mouth.


The day after the UT-UF game, Enron declared BK. She got a transfer back to Memphis.

And for those who know how my family tends to get in trouble at sporting events for running their mouths, let's just say they get it from their mom....
Click to expand...
That’s how you tell a story. Awesome. Well done.
 
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#130
#130
tbh said:
This isn't the worst, but maybe my weirdest for me. Back in the day, I was in a bit of a rut in terms of dating...I was getting more responsibilities at the office, becoming more active in a young professionals group in town, etc. Anyhow, a good buddy of mine convinced me to give the whole internet dating thing a go.

After a couple of uneventful first dates with a few gals that didn't lead to second dates, the next one was a bit...odd. She lived a couple of towns away, but judging from her profile she was relatively cute, had a stable career (librarian), and seemed generally normal after some messaging back and forth. I scoped out a few restaurants in her town online, found an Italian place that, even if things didn't develop with the gal, at least it'd be a good dinner from a food standpoint. So we set up a night to meet up, the veil of normalcy still in place.

At the eatery, I noticed she was a bit more "Goth" than her profile pics let on...not my thing, but hey...I was hungry for some lasagna at any rate. Maybe the conversation would reveal some common ground, right? We talk books and literature for a bit, and she asks if I'd like to know why she's wearing the all-black getup (apparently my expressions made it more obvious than I had thought). She proceeds to tell me that she's heavily involved in a vampire-themed LARPing group in the area and they're meeting up later that night. Apparently they got together and drank "blood" (koolaid or wine) and did fake vampire stuff around a fire from what I gathered. She did extend an invitation which I politely declined. My dinner enjoyment at that point was in decline as I kept imagining her looking at the marinara on her plate in an unsettling way. There was no second date, haha.
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You dodged the bullet. Goth chicks can be hit or miss (typically miss). They are good for one thing and it is not larping.
 
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#132
#132
Regulator said:
That’s how you tell a story. Awesome. Well done.
Click to expand...

I could write a novel on bad dates from ages 20-22

Let's see:

1. Drama major - Yeah, dating one is dramatic
2. Shoe saleswoman from Goldsmith's (Macys) leaving her number in shoe box. Turns out she had a boyfriend.
3. Crazy O' Charley's waitress with clinginess issues
4. Normal girl who got engaged to next guy she dated after me. Case of food poisoning involved too.
5. Normal girl that got back with ex bf after date. Potential concusuuion involved. 2 girls in a row that got engaged immediately after dating me
6. Equally crazy younger sister to #3 above - Yeah, I brought that one on myself.
7. The girl at the beginning of Part 1 of story.

I wish that hot/crazy matrix was around when I was 20-22. Dated too many in danger zone.
 
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#136
#136
BigOrangeMojo said:
I could write a novel on bad dates from ages 20-22

Let's see:

1. Drama major - Yeah, dating one is dramatic
2. Shoe saleswoman from Goldsmith's (Macys) leaving her number in shoe box. Turns out she had a boyfriend.
3. Crazy O' Charley's waitress with clinginess issues
4. Normal girl who got engaged to next guy she dated after me. Case of food poisoning involved too.
5. Normal girl that got back with ex bf after date. Potential concusuuion involved. 2 girls in a row that got engaged immediately after dating me
6. Equally crazy younger sister to #3 above - Yeah, I brought that one on myself.
7. The girl at the beginning of Part 1 of story.

I wish that hot/crazy matrix was around when I was 20-22. Dated too many in danger zone.
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The amount of cheating women I’m hearing about in this thread is mind boggling.
 
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#137
#137
mad4vols said:
The amount of cheating women I’m hearing about in this thread is mind boggling.
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That ways people (male and female) justify that crap in their smoothbrained minds is, well, mind-boggling. Of course, those are the first to exclaim "OmG DoN't JuDgE!!!1!" when they're exposed.
 
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#140
#140
The best and most classic bad date was not mine. I'm not sure I should share. Involves the two friends in #1 above on a double date. I can severely edit to clean it up, but it still may be offensive. I'll hold off for now. But, I almost broke ribs laughing about it when they told me.
Hope you share it.
@mad4vols

I'm still considering, but it is crude, but can be beneficial to those that do not think dating hygiene is important. I can edit out most, and not lose the gist of the story, but the final response can only be reduced to PG-18.
 
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#141
#141
GVF said:
The best and most classic bad date was not mine. I'm not sure I should share. Involves the two friends in #1 above on a double date. I can severely edit to clean it up, but it still may be offensive. I'll hold off for now. But, I almost broke ribs laughing about it when they told me.
Hope you share it.
@mad4vols

I'm still considering, but it is crude, but can be beneficial to those that do not think dating hygiene is important. I can edit out most, and not lose the gist of the story, but the final response can only be reduced to PG-18.
Click to expand...
Now you got us even more curious.
 
#142
#142
mad4vols said:
Now you got us even more curious.
Click to expand...


OK here goes. The two friends were on a double date. They went parking. The other guy and his date were hunkered down in the back seat. My friend and his date up front. They were messing around. She kept motioning her head like she wanted him to do something else. this went on a couple times. Finally, he held up his hand and said b***, would you eat anything that smelled like this. She erupted in tears. Date went seriously downhill from there. Two of life's important rules... Always carry clean underwear in case your in an accident. Always shower before dates unless you are fully committed to abstaining. Come to think about it I did have an eerily similar date in college. I just didn't make a big stink about it. lol.
 
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#143
#143
GVF said:
OK here goes. The two friends were on a double date. They went parking. The other guy and his date were hunkered down in the back seat. My friend and his date up front. They were messing around. She kept motioning her head like she wanted him to do something else. this went on a couple times. Finally, he held up his hand and said b***, would you eat anything that smelled like this. She erupted in tears. Date went seriously downhill from there. Two of life's important rules... Always carry clean underwear in case your in an accident. Always shower before dates unless you are fully committed to abstaining. Come to think about it I did have an eerily similar date in college. I just didn't make a big stink about it. lol.
Click to expand...
Pun intended of course?
 
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#145
#145
GVF said:
OK here goes. The two friends were on a double date. They went parking. The other guy and his date were hunkered down in the back seat. My friend and his date up front. They were messing around. She kept motioning her head like she wanted him to do something else. this went on a couple times. Finally, he held up his hand and said b***, would you eat anything that smelled like this. She erupted in tears. Date went seriously downhill from there. Two of life's important rules... Always carry clean underwear in case your in an accident. Always shower before dates unless you are fully committed to abstaining. Come to think about it I did have an eerily similar date in college. I just didn't make a big stink about it. lol.
Click to expand...
.

🤣😂🤣
 
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#146
#146
jasonvols2.2 said:
Didn't Majors do something really stupid in that game?
Click to expand...

Army won by blocking a UT punt and running it in for a TD with 30 seconds left in the game. He took criticism for not having the punter take the safety as we were ahead by 3 at the time. I always wondered if the punter might have screwed up; maybe the coaches told him to concede a safety if there was any rush at all and he forgot.
 
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#147
#147
BigOrangeMojo said:
PART 4

It's the week after Thanksgiving and I picked up some bookkeeping gigs on the side. I'm working at my place at night and someone knocks on my door at 830 at night. Its Memphis so who knows what's on the other side. I open it up and its zombie girl. She asks to come in. She mentioned shes back in Memphis trying to get a transfer back ( she worked in energy industry in Houston and that market was in turmoil with everything circling Enron at the time). She also has 2 Tennessee Florida tickets and she was like "I bet I know who will take me to my first Tennessee game." So we made the 11 hour drive to Gainesville and saw the game.

So we met up with some friends walking into the Swamp and there were these 3 Gator frat boys that got in her face saying (Suck my D). One of the frat guys was short, one was tall, and one was a little chunky. Given how she played me on the Celine documentary, I figured she could fend for herself. She told the short one she doesnt mess with short guys, the tall guy said something and she blurted out "you're too ugly" and before the fat one could say something she told him his D was too small. She had Gator fans throwing beer bottles at her after the game for running her mouth.


The day after the UT-UF game, Enron declared BK. She got a transfer back to Memphis.

And for those who know how my family tends to get in trouble at sporting events for running their mouths, let's just say they get it from their mom....
Click to expand...
Your story belongs in a museum. Bravo
 
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#150
#150
BigOrangeMojo said:
The day after the UT-UF game, Enron declared BK. She got a transfer back to Memphis.

And for those who know how my family tends to get in trouble at sporting events for running their mouths, let's just say they get it from their mom....
Click to expand...
You've got to be kidding me. Are you serious? That's the greatest thing I've ever read on this site. I can't believe you flew to Houston to see her after she pulled Celine Dion on you.
 
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