Tennessee vs The Maxims vs Maryland (Peach Bowl 2002)
Welcome, mi compadres to the 1970s. The long slide has begun and theres not a whole heck of lot Coach Fulmer can do to arrest the swan-dive that is UT football.
About halfway through tonights Debacle in the Dome your humble scribe had a vision. I was transported to somewhere else and I saw, sitting in his humble abode tonight, Bill Battle: smiling.
Later, another, darker, apparition thence came out of the gloom. He wore an old-fashioned fedora hat, a suit and a long dress coat. He said not a word to me. Another fellow wearing a long-sleeved orange football jersey and a leather helmet brought in a straight-backed chair; set it in front of the television, and left. The man in the coat then sat in the chair and folded his arms, leaning forward from time to time during plays and writing notes on a yellow legal pad.
After a while he began to speak. He spoke not to me but to those images on the tube.
##$$%@#* it!! What the %##$@@%^&& hell do you think this is!?!? A ##$#%^&&*& sorority dance???? HIT THE SUM*****! If that #$%^&@*& ing panty-waist ever did that kinda crap on my team the sum*****d run the $%&***##@ steps until I got tired!! %$#@!!%%^& it! Lookit that!! Sum***** just stood there and our damn qb THREW HIM THE DAMN BALL!!! LOOKIT THAT SUM***** RUN!!! @@**%*%*$$&& it!! CAN ANY OF THESE SUM*****ES MAKE A SIMPLE *^&&%%% TACKLE???? Great day, somebody HIT NUMBER 42!! My God, 42 has had his arms around our QB so many times I think theyre going to announce their engagement! YOU THERE!! YES, YOU, DUMBJOHN! TAKE THAT ORANGE SHIRT OFF AND GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY WHO AT LEAST ACTS LIKE THEY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT FOOTBALL!!!
Then he began to mutter to himself.
Dammit all to Hell! I gave up my regular poker game with Red Blaik, Pot Graves and Charlie Daly to watch this crap!! What in Hell was I thinking?? Those %$##**&& Marylanders screwed up the 1951 season for me and Ive not forgiven the sum*****es to this day! *%*$^^##@$& it! Im going back!
He made a quick motion and the chap in the football togs suddenly reappeared. The old man stood quickly and strode off. The football player watched the screen for a few moments, spat in disgust, picked up the chair and followed.
I thought he pretty well summed it up.