I told him it would probably hurt the lady and you'd get poop on your unit. And that there was no chance of making a baby because that's not where the eggs come down.
Once he's actually going through puberty and we have The Talk II, I'll have no problem talking to him about why some people really do the deed in the crapper. At this point I'm trying to avoid complications as much as possible to concentrate on a few basic bullet points.
Funny that he couldn't sleep. He had only a few questions for me this afternoon, but once his mom fell asleep tonight, he had a whole shopping list.