A little help for you fellas from The Onion. Dont thank me, thank them.
Onion Sports has expert analysis on which players to keep and which players to drop from your fantasy football starting lineup this week:
Start Em
Golden Tate (WR): Tate was incredibly productive in his last game, making him the perfect option to accidentally lock on your bench because hes playing at 9:30 in the f***g morning
Brandon Marshall (WR): The star wide receiver will just need to avoid getting too amped up during his pregame dressing-down of Jay Cutler
Ben Tate (RB): Should have a productive game against the Raiders for the 56 or 57 minutes the Browns offense is on the field
Sit Em
Steven Jackson (RB): The powerful running back faces another tough matchup against Mike Smiths entire offensive philosophy
Alfred Morris (RB): Morris has earned owners a mere 12 fantasy points over his past three starts, no doubt sending the Washington running back into a spiral of remorse and self-doubt
Jay Cutler (QB): The Bears quarterback is on a very short $126 million leash