You Are Recruiting Johnny 5 Star

#26
#26
I'm gonna get that hot chic (with the weird thumb) from Transformers to come back home Knoxville and get freaky with you!

megan_fox.jpg


Megan_fox_weird_thumb.jpg



Things could get freaky with a thumb like that!
My second wife had thumbs like that as well as her entire family. We had a daughter and guess what? She's got those same damn thumbs. Imagine a cross between Halle Berry and Alicia Keys with those thumbs. Crazy man.
 
#27
#27
Son, you are the final Brick that I need to finish the House that Butch Built. BOOM!
 
#29
#29
Son........you will never have to wear crimson colored uniforms or have intimate relations with family members...etc son...it'll be okay..
 
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#30
#30
"Sign with Carolina today, son, and we'll upgrade your stay at The Whitney from a room to a suite!"

USCe will upgrade your Jameson room with a fresh trough full of slop, complete with high protien maggots.

We also have a boy-girl of sorts named Herme that will take care of you one way or another. LMAO!

But Wait! There's more!
We'll even throw in one used, abused and well thrown Steve Spurrier visor. It probably has more passing yardage than the USCe QB's.
 
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#31
#31
I think those are called "Dutch thumbs" and it's hereditary.....,bless her heart
 
#33
#33
The serious answers to this thread are far more amusing than the tongue in cheek ones. I think many people rehearse these conversations when they make their morning BM.
 
#38
#38
The serious answers to this thread are far more amusing than the tongue in cheek ones. I think many people rehearse these conversations when they make their morning BM.

Bathroom mirror role play is a key component of recruiting analysis.
 
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#40
#40
Megan_fox_weird_thumb.jpg


I think she must have had a lawnmower accident and they did a toe transplant...
 
#41
#41
Megan_fox_weird_thumb.jpg


I think she must have had a lawnmower accident and they did a toe transplant...

Women with Dutch thumbs tend to have sexy feet and toes. Not that I'm into that sort of thing. That's just what I heard.
 
#43
#43
A giant feast called "The Vol Supper." We have a tray full of the most amazing meats and foods. Everybody loves food and women! Rodney Dangerfield said, " Steak and Sex are my favorite pair."
 
#45
#45
_________ have an opportunity to stand out and become a legend. Let me ask you something, why was Peyton Manning considered great at UT? Was it because he was the most talented guy we ever had or because he brought us from uncertainty back to the top of the SEC. What we have here at Tennessee is a unique opportunity, an opportunity to be the hero. At Alabama, you will be perceived as a tool and your success will have happened because Coach Saban made you succeed. At LSU, you will be be perceived as a game manager while the defense gets all the recognition. Don't believe me, look at the last two LSU teams. What have you heard about them? Defense, defense, defense, right? Did you know that they scored over 30pts X times? At LSU, you will never get the recognition as a player or as a unit that is fair, you will always be second chair. At Tennessee you have an opportunity to grow with the most loyal fanbase in all of sports. You will be given every resource available anywhere. You will have the facilities, coaching, and support necessary to give you the chance to achieve everything. What we will not give you is a silver spoon, we are looking for someone, the right person to lead not just the Football Vols, but TENNESSEE. If you are that person, someone who has the courage and desire to be the best and to lead this team to the top, we expect your fax come Feburary 5.
 
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#46
#46
Son, I know you have offers from Alabama, LSU, Ohio State and Notre Dame; and all of those are great programs no doubt about it. But we at the University of Tennessee have something to offer you that those other schools can't. If you sign a grant in aid to be a Volunteer you will ________ fill in the blank.

How would you close the kid?:loco:

We are assuming Tennessee is in his top 5 and he's interested.

A frickin god instead of a benchwarmer.
 
#47
#47
Son........you will never have to wear crimson colored uniforms or have intimate relations with family members...etc son...it'll be okay..

Good gracious son... Just because the closer the kin the deeper in only counts in Alabama doesn't mean you have to stay in the state. Come to Tennessee and be the final Corner stone to a dynasty...
 
#49
#49
This guy?
 

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