I take the girlfriend to a restaurant. It has taken 9 months to get a reservation. The place has three Michelin stars and wines from countries Google maps can't find. We walk in and see a dining room the size of an aircraft carrier and 10,000 empty tables.
The maitre'd looks at us, looks at the empty room and says, "there's a wait of one hour." The girlfriend leaps at him, bites his nose off and screams "IS THE BAR OPEN?!?!"
Wakes me in terror some nights.